Page 57 of Doubts & Fears

“I’ll never be ready. Never ever.” She looked over. “Are you happy now?”

My heart constricted in my chest. I was once more reminded we knew virtually nothing about her. And I couldn’t have known mentioning New Haven would affect her so. A pang of remorse tugged at my conscience.

She squeezed her eyes shut and looked away from us, and her shoulders shrank. One minute she was there, the next she was lost in her own head, talking to someone only she could see. “I’m trying, honestly. It’s so hard right now. Likethatnight? Okay,” she whispered. “But only for you.”

In seconds, she put herself in a trance, rocking back and forth. Her pretty little lips parted, and from within, the most ethereal sound emerged. With the voice of an angel, she sang and the haunting melody of “Amazing Grace” rose in the air.

It captivated me, her voice tinged with raw vulnerability, carrying the weight of the lyrics with an intensity that gave me goose bumps. It was a deeply personal rendition, revealing an inner desperation and hope. I longed to know who she was singing for. Who in her life garnered such beauty, and it was at that moment that I became lost.

Her voice cracked slightly under the weight of the lyrics, and she could barely finish the song. She faltered, her delicate frame trembling, until she couldn’t contain the emotions.

Her hands instinctively covered her tear-streaked face as sobs racked her body, the profound depths of her soul laid bare before us. I looked to Alek almost as if to sayfix this, brother.

He swooped her from the floor and into his arms, carrying her over to the couch. “That was beautiful.” His words were soft, and she sniffled.

He sat holding her for twenty minutes, rubbing her back and periodically kissing her forehead. Ivan surprised the hell out of us both when he took her from Alek. Kinsley wrapped her arms around his neck, leaned her head against his chest, and played with his hair.

“Little love, your voice is beautiful. Please don’t ever hide it.” His deep voice rumbled, causing her to shiver, and I remembered what she told me earlier about how it was soothing.

I ached to hold her, to comfort her as they had done. It was my fault she had gotten upset to begin with. Ivan’s eyes met mine, and he understood, sensing my need.

Standing, I walked over, and he nodded. I took her in my arms, and she weakly tried to pull away. “Don’t do that. I’m sorry I upset you, baby. Please don’t cry any more. How about we get you to bed?”

All the fight left her body as she buried her sweet head in my chest. “Yes, please. I’m so tired.”

I walked up the stairs and down the hall with her, preparing myself for the night. It was true, I hadn’t lied earlier. Sleeping in the same bed as a woman? It just wasn’t my thing and I’d never even had the urge to before. In the short distance it took to get to my room, I knew. I was going to get used to it.

The way she snuggled into me felt different. She had an unspoken need to be held, to be watched over. It spoke to a softer side of me I rarely showed. Setting her down, I gave her a gentle push toward the bathroom.

“Your things are in there.”

She nodded and went inside. The sound of running water mixed with a few hiccups behind the closed door sent a dagger through my chest. And when she came out, she stood awkwardly.

A small squeak left her mouth when I pulled her over to the bed. I knelt in front of her and pulled off her socks. “Are you okay with this? I don’t want to upset you any more tonight.”

“Yes, Sir, I’m better now.”

I unbuckled her jeans, and she trembled but allowed me to continue. Soft denim rubbed against my fingers as I hooked my hands inside them, slowly peeling both her underwear and jeans off. She immediately tried to hide herself.

“No, never cover yourself with me.”

“Please, you’re making me uncomfortable.”

“Why? Because of this?” I pushed her legs apart and found the string. I held it between my fingers delicately.

“Yes. Please, it’s embarrassing.” She looked mortified as she swatted my hands away.

I needed her to understand that with me, those things didn’t matter. “No, it’s natural. It’s a part of your life, and it should never embarrass you. It doesn’t bother me or gross me out.”

Men who couldn’t handle a woman’s biological functions always baffled me. Women were the most fascinating and beautiful creatures in the world.

I removed her shirt and unhooked her bra. She once more went to instinctively cover up, and I growled, “What did I tell you? I want to see you.”

“I’m sorry, Sir. I’m not used to this,” she whimpered. She shyly lowered her hands, and I stepped back, drinking her in.

“Damn. So beautiful, malyshka. My god, you’re absolutely flawless. Breathtaking.” Blood rushed to my cock; it jerked in my pants.

Fuck, I wanted her. How the hell was I going to sleep next to her and maintain control? Her soft, warm small body was calling to me already. I wanted to stay, but Alek and Ivan were waiting. We had Death Squad business to attend to tonight. I took my T-shirt off and pulled it over her head.

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