Page 40 of Doubts & Fears

“Not the thought of being raped or killed. The thought of being taken. That’s one thing I can’t seem to overcome.”

“Being taken?”

She nodded. “Being taken by force, against my will. Two other things fill me with even more terror, but I’m not ready to talk about them.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and a haunted look consumed her.

“I can’t help you if you don’t talk about it. As long as you understand that…”

Her revelation only solidified what we thought all along. She was taken against her will. Was the accident what she was talking about?

“We’ll start with martial arts movements, and then we’ll incorporate weapons.” I carried the heaviness of her words, tucking it in the back of my mind to share with the guys later.

“When do we begin?” Her eyes grew hard, and a fresh determination replaced her earlier fear.

“Now, so pay attention.”

We worked for two hours, her rapt attention glued to me as I showed her basic movements before I called it a day. Something told me she would have kept going if I’d wanted. I’d have to remember that and make sure I paced her.

“Come, you need a shower and to eat something.” I motioned for her to move toward the door. It was best not to touch her.

“Thank you,” she breathed in the lift, her face flushed from the exercise. I nodded as I studied her.

“Marcel wants to speak with you regarding how you’re feeling with the fire and last night.”

“Wait, what? You guys told Marcel about…about…” Her face flushed, and she swallowed back tears.

“We don’t keep secrets from one another. It’s a pact we made a very long time ago. I need you to call him.” A pinch of guilt clenched my stomach over telling him. She looked crushed, like we’d exposed a secret of hers and embarrassed her.

“No. I don’t need a shrink,” she huffed.

“Tell him that, then.”

I sighed, exasperated once more with her attitude. It was best to walk away from her at this point, before I did something else I might regret. I moseyed to my room to collect my thoughts.

After showering, I went to find the others. I needed to talk to Alek. I’d kissed Kinsley twice, and he deserved to know. Despite knowing Nik had kissed her as well, it was a shit move on my part. This was completely uncharted territory for me.

We had somehow avoided ever being attracted to the same girl when the girl mattered. Nik and Alek would often fuck the same club girl—not together, of course, but their tastes ran similar, whereas mine differed.

Until now, and Kinsley wasn’t a club girl. There truly was something special about her, and I was dreading the conversation. “You got a minute?” I closed the door.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Alek studied me closely. God, I felt like an asshole.

I updated him on the conversation with Kinsley about her fears, stalling for as long as I could. But I knew I needed to come clean. We had a bond, and part of that bond meant we were honest to a fault with one another.

“I kissed Kinsley. Twice, actually,” I finally confessed. The muscles in his cheek twitched as a flurry of emotions crossed his face.

“And how did she react?” His chest heaved as he took a deep breath.

“She kissed me back, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He nodded and sighed as he mulled it over.

“I thought I should tell you. If you want to call off us all taking turns watching her, or you and Nik want to manage it, I’m good with that.”

“I’m actually not surprised. The way she kissed your blade on game night was telling. She wouldn’t have let you kiss her if she didn’t want you to, Ivan. I fucking need you and Nik in this with me. There’s no way I can manage her alone without losing my shit.”

“If you’re sure. I won’t do it again. I need you to know you mean the world to me. And I don’t want to be in the way of whatever this thing is that you have with her. She’s special,” I murmured.

“I told you so, fucker, and the two of you gave me shit about her. For what? Over a month? Welcome to the crazy train.”

---