Page 35 of Doubts & Fears

“I never have before. With someone else, I mean. Only a few times by myself—but it doesn’t always happen.” I gave a voice to my fear.

He leaned over and kissed me passionately. All my fears floated away as I was consumed by the taste of his tongue, the heat of his skin on my ass as he pushed my body onto his hand harder.

“Relax for me. I want you to listen to my voice. Can you do that?”

I released the pressure on his hand between my legs as a jolt of electricity rushed through my body. I’d come this far. I needed to know if I was forever broken or if, by some miracle, he could coax my body to release.

“Yes, Sir,” I whispered.

He applied pressure with his thumb, steady and firm on my clit, while his middle finger slipped back inside me. With excruciating slowness, he rubbed a spot inside of me while his thumb rubbed outside. His lips found mine, and our tongues danced.

Then he curled his finger. Holy fuck, it was unlike anything I’d ever felt before.

He broke away. “You’ve got this. Let go and don’t think. Feel it, don’t hold back on me. Focus on my finger and how it feels. You’re my good girl.”

My pussy fluttered at his words. “Say it again, please. Call me your good girl.” It was as close as I could get to asking him for permission. The incredible sensation of his finger and his voice combined sent me soaring.

“Damn, sweetness. Ride it, just like that. So fucking beautiful, look at you,” he groaned, his voice cracking with lust. “I’ve been dreaming about watching you come. The fact I’m your first…Damn, it’s a fucking privilege. Thank you.”

My body shuddered at his words with waves upon waves of pleasure. His thumb slid over my clit in small circles and his finger continued stroking deep inside my pussy.

“I’m close,” I whimpered.

“I love it, sweetness. Just let it happen. Focus on my voice. You’re going to come for me like the good girl I know you are. I have one small request, though.”

“God, yes, please, I’ll do it. I promise, don’t stop.”

“You couldn’t pay me to stop. All I want is to hear you scream my name. Now come for me.” He growled the last part in my ear.

That was all I needed. I cried out, clenching his finger tightly, and I absolutely screamed his name as my whole body spasmed. The sudden ferocity of it, and the resulting convulsing of my pussy around his finger, was overwhelming. I came so hard, my toes curled and my legs shook violently.

He expertly teased every bit of my orgasm from me; he pulled his finger out and pushed it back in, then rubbed my clit over and over, which sent fresh waves of shivers through me.

I rocked against him, crying out, “It’s too much.” He kissed me softly on the lips. “Thank you,” I moaned into his mouth.

“You’re welcome, my little pet.” He pushed my hair to the side and stroked my back. I was lost in a daze, blinking. My breathing still sounded harsh in my ears until I yawned.

He laughed, pulled me close to him, and nuzzled me. “I love your neck. Close your beautiful eyes and get some sleep. I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”

I lay there feeling such a range of emotions. A poignant moment of clarity washed over me. I faced my fear of being spanked, and I came for Alek. A state of blissfulness greeted me. I smiled as I snuggled into his large body.

When I woke a short time later, I couldn’t move. His body was intertwined with mine, his right leg draped over me, and his grip possessive. His head was still buried in my neck, and I gently caressed his upper chest, tracing the smooth skin under my fingertips again. He was so strong and beautiful. My heart suddenly stalled.

What was I doing?

I tried to move away from him, but even in sleep, his grip tightened. All I could do was close my eyes and snuggle into him. He sighed and loosened his hold on me a little. Overwhelmed by a sense of safety in his arms, I fell back to sleep. The next time I woke, it was morning, and he was gone. I fought the mixed feelings of relief and regret.

It took me a minute, but I got up and went to my room and showered. Damn, my ass was so sore. I looked at it in the mirror. A few bruisesmarred the flesh.

Whose hands left them? A flush stole over me as I thought about last night. With a deep breath, I vowed to behave, bide my time as I set things up. My biggest challenge would be avoiding any questions regarding Mischa.

All I needed was a plausible story. Weave a bit of truth here and there, and I’d be golden. It started with me pretending to be a good girl, gaining their trust, and then I could make my move. Owen prepared me for this day, to some extent. I refocused my thoughts and breathed deeply.

“You can do this. You’re stronger than you know.” I pulled my hair back into a tight bun and pulled on workout clothes and my tennis shoes.

There must be a gym somewhere on this property. The men living here were way too fit not to have one. I’d ask Gerald to point me in the direction, and I’d constructively use all the pent-up energy I had and make some plans.

Chapter 12

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