Page 207 of Doubts & Fears

“You’re holding back, Blade! Why?”

“I’m not.”

“Liar. Damn you. You’re treating me like a child. How the hell am I supposed to trust you? This was what I was talking about earlier.”

“You will watch your tone,” I retorted, coming at her again from the front. I wrapped my hands around her throat, hating the way it felt. She was like a delicate little bird, and I could have easily snapped it.

“See, right there, Alek’s hands around my throat the other night were tighter than yours. You’re holding back.” She pushed me away, panting from the exertion of the workout, sweat dripping from her body. “You know what? None of this matters, not a damn bit,” she said bitterly.

“It matters. More than you know. It matters to me that you know how to fight.”

She sat down on the floor. “What I mean is that I’m tired. I’m a curse to everyone I spend time with. It honestly would have been better if I died in the fire.”

“Don’t you ever say that.” I sat in front of her. “Marcel said you quit on him. Is it because you don’t want to tell him what happened? Will you tell me, please?” I tried once more.

She got flustered, choked up, and glanced away.

“Forget I said anything.” She stood, putting more space between us.

“No, damn it, I won’t forget it. Talk to me. Why do you think you’d be better off dead?” My fingertips slid down her arm.

She whirled around, fire blazing in her eyes. Slapping at my hand, she bellowed, “Don’t fucking touch me.”

I pressed her against the wall. She looked like she was ready to bolt, and running wasn’t the answer. I curled one hand lightly around her wrists and raised them above her head.

“You’re kidding me, right? You’ve let me touch you, kiss you, let me lick and suck on your nipples. My fingers have been inside you, and you’ve rubbed yourpretty pussy on my cock, coming for me. Something's changed, and it isn't me, little love.”

“Ivan, please,” she begged.

“You let me fuck you with a vibrator while you screamed my name. You craved my touch then, and now you don’t want me to touch you?”

“That’s not fair.” Her voice broke.

She was right. Itwasn’tfair. None of this shit between us was fair. Our eyes locked and my grip tightened.

“Who hurt you, and what did he do to you? Tell me so I can help.”

A single tear fell down her cheek, and she shuddered. “I can’t speak the words.”

I leaned down and grazed my lips over her neck. Her pulse was beating erratically. I cupped her face gently, wanting to take away her pain. “What did he do to you? Tell me, my love. Please.”

“You’d have to hurt me,” she whispered.

I should have realized then we were playing a game. One in which I’d lose, but I couldn’t help myself. “What did he do?” I asked once more, my lips gentle against her neck.

“Do it,” she retorted.

“Do what?” I asked, moving to the other side. I was lost in kissing her, so her next words took me by surprise.

“Hurt me,” she hissed, testing me. Her eyes issued a challenge I only barely understood. I flinched with her next words. “Do it. If you want to know, then you’ll do it.”

I gripped her waist and turned her around. Pulling her shorts off, I pressed her against the wall. I grabbed her wrists once more, pulling them above her head as my body caged hers. A tremor wracked through her as I pressed my rock-hard length against her bare ass, pushing her legs apart.

Using my free hand, I unsheathed my blade. A small indentation appeared as I traced the flat edge between her shoulder blades and down her back. My breath was ragged seeing my blade against her creamy flesh.

She stilled her body and waited. What the fuck was I doing? I let her wrists go, but she kept them above her head and flat against the wall. A heavy sigh of disappointment greeted me.

“I said hurt me, Blade, or I’ll never tell you.” She threw the words with precision, cutting me in two.

---