Page 98 of Doubts & Fears

“Maybe Marcel’s opinion has merit. I don’t feel like, given the chance to bolt, she would right now,” Alek offered as he winced.

“She has settled down quite nicely.” I listened as she exhaled.

“I wish she’d tell us what happened to her and what she’s afraid of,” Ivan said.

“After hearing her and seeing her like that, I’m terrified, truth be told,” Alek whispered.

I didn’t know about them, but I was imagining all the horrible things that could have happened to her, and each thought filled me with profound sadness. I hadn’t felt like this since Vanya. “What the hell are we going to do with her, brothers?” I asked them, knowing neither of them had an answer.

Early the next morning, we all met in the study. Kinsley was still asleep, and we wanted to update Marcel. I mentally calculated the time, hoping he wasn’t too busy with clients to take the call. Then I remembered it was Saturday. He was meeting with Bash at the gym today like he always did, so I FaceTimed him instead, catching him in the car.

“Marcel, you should have seen the look of sheer terror on her face. Wherever she was in that dream, it was dark. She kept screaming ‘let me out,’” I told him, still hauntedby her words.

It didn’t take a genius to understand that someone locked her in somewhere dark. “And she only responded when you called her Mischa?” he asked casually.

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

Something significant existed in that revelation, and I could tell he was intrigued by it. It was the way his eyebrows went up.

“Yes, and she told us Mischa was dead,” Alek added.

“Level with us. Do you think she has split personality disorder? How is Mischa dead ifshe’sMischa?” Ivan asked.

“It’s dissociative identity disorder, but I’m not entirely sure.” Marcel corrected Ivan on the proper term. “I haven’t had enough time with her. But if I had to guess, my answer would be no. It’s clear she’s suffering from some trauma. It could be anything from guilt having lived while her parents died or something worse.”

“Reviewing what we know for fact: she wasn’t in the accident that killed her parents in early 2012. She was taken from the vehicle, and an accident was staged. The night of the burial, all three members of the Dmitriev family were taken from their graves. But she shows up in late 2014, when Owen Taylor takes her to New Haven. What happened in those two years is what we need to know,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

“Coupled with the photos and the suggestive nature of them, I’m inclined to believe that, at a basic level, she was exploited—” Marcel said before Ivan interrupted.

“Do you think she was raped? I need you to tell me.” The pain in his voice nearly broke me. His breath came in ragged draws, and every one of us knew he was thinking of Vanya.

“I can’t answer that, Ivan. I wish I could reassure you somehow. We’re all going to need to be patient.” He tried to soothe our baby brother’s greatest fear.

“Promise me you’ll tell me, though. Even if you can’t say it officially, use our code word,” Ivan breathed.

“Ivan, you know I love you. Our bonds run deep. What you’re asking is impossible without her permission. I know why you need to have an answer, but I can’t break her confidence.”

He fell quiet, and then his eyes raised to all of ours as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I should tell you all. My colleague suggested I find another counselor for her. I’m inclined to agree with him. I hoped to have this conversation another day. One in which you all three didn’t look like shit from an emotional night.”

“It took her forever to agree to start a dialogue with you. If you hand her over to anyone else, there’s no guarantee she will agree,” Alek huffed.

I read deeper into his words. What he really meant was if she spoke to someone outside our circle, we wouldn’t get any updates on her progress or past. With her habit of keeping secrets, it was likely she wouldn’t be truthful with them. Marcel saw that truth as well.

“I get that. I understand the importance of finding out what happened to her.”

“Do you? Because this goes beyond the fact that we want her. I need you to hear me about this. It’s vital to her safety that we know Romanov wasn’t behind any of this,” Alek stated more firmly.

“I know, but honestly, aside from going to visit him in prison and asking him directly, you’re spinning your wheels. The answers we need are locked inside Kinsley,” Marcel said. A silence hung between all of us.

“The only constant we know that existed in her life was Owen Taylor. I can try to reach out to Madame Pierce again, but she was adamant about not sharing anything more than what she had.” Alek sighed, rubbing his temples. “Marcel, it has to be you. You know that, right? I know I overreacted yesterday. You’re our brother, and I speak for all of us when I say we trust you with her completely. If you have to walk that line, there’s no one I’d rather have do it than you.”

“I’m going to insist that from now on, we do video conferences. I also think it would be in her best interest to allow her to resume her dance classes. I can only imagine that dance would be therapeutic for her right now. Given how important she said it was, she probably needs it.”

“I’m on it. I will contact her dance coach and ask him if he wouldn’t mind giving her private lessons at the gym. It isn’t far from the office, so on the days she’s with Nik, I can come get her. We have space. It will take me a few days, but I’ll get it done,” Ivan said.

“I’m going to nix the idea of testing her by trying to take her,” Marcel said.

“Not a problem. I don’t ever want to see her look like that again.” Alek rubbed his head.

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