Page 84 of Doubts & Fears

I scoffed at her answer to what she wanted out of therapy. I hadn’t lied to Nik. Getting her to open up was going to be important. Apparently, getting her to be honest—with me and with herself—was a focus as well. She knew damned well what she hoped to get out of therapy. I dialed the number she’d provided. She picked up on the second ring.

“Ms. Taylor, how are you doing today?”

“Okay.”

“Thank you for agreeing to speak with me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. Do you mind if I share a bit about my practice and techniques with you so you can determine if we’ll be a good fit?”

“Sure,” she replied.

I frowned at her clipped responses. “I’m an Integrative Psychologist, Psychosexual, and Relationship/Marriage therapist. I specialize in helping individuals and couples work through sexual issues and preferences primarily within the kink community. However, my true heart is helping people overcome trauma.”

“What kinds of trauma?” Right out the gate, she was curious. This bode well. Getting her to engage was going to be important.

“All kinds. Whether it be sexual, physical, emotional, or a combination, I try to weave different therapies together to support my clients. Each one has unique needs and things they may need healing from.”

She grew quiet, and I wondered what she might be thinking. “Whenever we have what I like to call ruptures in our mental health, caused by trauma, it finds a way out. If you’re not careful, it’ll bleed over into every aspect of your life. You may manage it for a while, but eventually, you’ll have to face it. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, it does.”

“I aim to help my patients acknowledge areas where they need work, guide them through the process of dealing with past or ongoing trauma, and navigate their way free from it. Do you think you might be ready to go over your intake form?”

“I think so. I didn’t answer some of them. Not because I was being stubborn or anything like that. The guys say I’m too stubborn for my own good. But the questions on my family, their mental and physical history I…I don’t have that information,” she breathed.

“That’s understandable. I want to tread carefully here with you. The last time we spoke—”

“I’m sorry about that. It was unexpected. Actually, can I ask you a question before we go any further?”

“No need to apologize, and you may absolutely ask me anything.”

“Anything I tell you in here is private, right? If you agree to be my therapist, our conversations are confidential. Even though you and your friends have a pact, what is said is just between us.” Her voice wobbled with uncertainty.

“Yes. I know you have concerns. Alek spoke with me earlier, and before you get upset, I’d like to share something with you. I’ve been given permission.”

“Okay.” Her voice sounded small but held notes of encouragement. Maybe she’d allow me in.

“When Alek was younger and starting in the lifestyle, he had a situation that caused him to be overly cautious. Especially going forward with women.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.”

“Because of that, he’s not quick to rush into things and has strictly limited himself to play partners. I can’t go into specific details, as that’s personal between Alek and me.”

“So…youdokeep secrets?”

“Not secrets, per se. I offer him and all the guys a safe space to share without judgment. Nine times out of ten, we all know what’s going on with one another. It’s not conventional, I understand, but it has always worked for us.”

“I think that sounds heavenly. To be that close to someone,” she said wistfully.

“It’s pretty special, the bond we have. But due to his own trauma, Alek likes me to get an idea about women prior to him taking things too far.”

“I understand, Dr. Marcel. Thank you for sharing.”

“All that to say, I know part of the reason you asked to speak to me might be because you want to take things further with Alek. You’re concerned if you reveal things to me, it will hinder your chances. Am I right?”

“Yes, but it’s not just Alek…”

“I see. This is good to know. I wondered how you were feeling about that. I’m sure it has to be confusing on some levels. Is this a first for you?”

“Yes, and I don’t just mean three guys.” Her voice was so soft.

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