Page 73 of Doubts & Fears

He sensed my surrender and climbed off. Then thrust his hand out, helping me off the ground before he grabbed me in a bear hug.

“You’re getting soft, old man. You need more practice.”

“Fuck you, Brother.” I wiped my mouth with my arm.

“You’re not my type. Blondes aren’t doing it for me lately,” he said with a grin, ruffling my hair.

A laugh bubbled up from my chest. It started as a chuckle, then grew into full-blown laughter. All the previous anger dissipated.

“Did you call herourgirl?”

He shrugged. And just like that, everything was better. It had always been that way with us. We were close, and no one would ever get between us—not the pain of losing Vanya or even how we felt about Kinsley.

The crux of the situation was that we all had feelings for the little shit, ones that went beyond a casual fuck. This was something none of us had ever seen coming. It didn’t help that she was equally attracted to all of us.

“Look at your message, and then you’ll understand.”

He saw the pain in my eyes, and he hesitated for a moment. He pulled up the photos and flipped through the five I’d sent him, his jaw tensing with each image. The emotions that passed over his face spoke volumes. Ivan was completely in love with Kinsley. It was a startling revelation, one I wasn’t sure he was aware of.

I sighed. My own feelings about her were convoluted. I could readily admit that I wanted her like I’d never wanted another woman, ever. Beyond that, the fear remained that I’d grow tired of her.

The three of us walked into the club. Knowing Kinsley was at home tucked into my bed, wearing one of the silk chemises I had purchased for her, I longed to be with her instead.

I’d had them custom tailored, and that was what was in the drawer. Made from the softest silk, it would flatter her every curve. They were lace and silk and had a nice long slit at the thigh. The matching thong would give me access to her sweet little ass cheeks.

Alisha’s hand landed on my arm, and I startled. I was so lost in my thoughts about Kinsley, I’d forgotten where I was. Alisha would be a means to an end. But fucking her had lost all appeal, even when she craved the harsher things. I disentangled myself and kissed her on the cheek.

“I’m actually going to head home.”

Her face fell. “Seriously? You haven’t touched me in so long. What’s going on with you? Is it that girl again?” Her words pierced through the air, laden with longing yet pained with accusation. The hurt in her eyes mirrored the ache.

“Yes. I’m sorry, Alisha. I can’t do this with you anymore.” With each word, the realization dawned. “You’re free to fully explore any relationship you want.”

“You’re letting me go?” Anger took over, masking her pain.

“Don’t do this. I was always upfront about the way our relationship worked.”

“Okay, but after a year?”

I turned away; there was nothing more to say. A sense of relief and euphoria washed over me as the weight of the strained relationship finally lifted with my admission.

The only person I wanted to fuck was at home in my bed. I took out my phone and texted my brothers. Charles would have plenty of time to take me home and come back. I needed to see Kinsley, to hold her in my arms. To my surprise, they both opted to go home as well.

Anticipation coursed through my veins as I stood before the closed door of my room. I grasped the doorknob, and a surge of excitement and nervous energy pulsed within me as I pushed it open.

My eyes zeroed in on my bed. As I stepped closer, I noticed she was curled up on her side, the sheet draped casually over her body. My sketchbook. Fuck, the urge to draw her was overwhelming. Rummaging around in my dresser side table, I found it and pulled it out.

I was glad I asked her permission, especially given the photos we found. The last thing I wanted was to violate her any further. Quietly pulling up a chair, I let the soft rustle of fabric fill the silence as I slipped the sheet off. The soft light fromthe bathroom danced across the gentle curves of her body, and I gave myself time to simply drink in her beauty.

My breath hitched in my chest. The rose-colored material flattered her skin, and with the way she was lying, the chemise had ridden up her leg. Her round ass on full display.

She was a living masterpiece, and as I put pencil to paper, words failed me. I furiously tried to capture it. My dick grew harder with each stroke I made. Her breasts were squeezed together, and the plunging neckline showed a hint of the top of her areolas and cleavage. Images of my cock nestled between them had me groaning.

I finished the outline and went to put the book back. The bottle of lube in the drawer caught my attention, and before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed it. Not wanting to wake her or freak her out, I took the sketchbook and bottle into the bathroom.

Unzipping my pants, I took my dick in my hand and stared at the rendition of her. A fantasy came to life in my head. One in which she consented to and knew full well my rules and was currently breaking one. Closing my eyes, I let it play out.

“My little pet, what are you doing?” I snuck into the room.

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