Page 34 of Doubts & Fears

He laughed lightly. “I thought you wanted me to hold you.”

“Later, maybe. I played your game, Reaper, and now I need to borrow this,” I whispered, looking away from him as I grabbed his hand, moving it between my legs. He sucked in a deep breath. I didn’t know what he planned to do with me, but I needed him.

“Damn, you’re so wet.” He separated my lips and brushed a finger up my slit.

I positioned my pussy over his hand and circled my hips, working my clit against his fingers while savoring the feel of him. I had been wanting his hands on me for so long. It was better than I imagined.

The wordintimateonce again rang through my head. If anyone had asked me earlier if I thought I would end my night this way, I would have said no way in hell. Yet here I was. His breathing was harsh as he tried hard not to move—to let me lead.

I knew he wanted to sink his fingers deep inside me, but his jaw clenched as he fought it. With his body facing me, he simultaneously rubbed and guided my ass with his hand. The combination of the sting of the spanking and my grinding were insanely erotic.

He relaxed his fingers under me, truly letting me control the moment. “That’s it. Show me what my girl likes. Tell me, do you like how my hand feels on this bare kitty?”

“Uh-huh, it’s so good, Aleksandr. Please don’t move. Leave it just like that. Oh, yes, please. I love it,” I said shamelessly.

“Look at me, kitten, please. I want to watch you.” His voice was earnest and sweet, conveying an emotion I hadn’t expected. I twisted my face toward him. “So fucking pretty. That’s my girl. Fuck my hand as hard as you need. You’ve earned this, sweetness.”

His words were like lighter fluid on a raging fire, and I picked up my pace.

“Good girl. Use me.”

Frantically, I rocked against his fingers in response, relishing him. “Please, oh god, it feels amazing. Put your finger inside me.” I whispered the last part, closing my eyes and losing myself.

He eased one in, my pussy so wet it slipped inside, stretching me. I bucked wildly against his hand. “Easy, sweetness. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re so tight. It’s fucking exquisite, damn.”

Groaning, I rode his finger harder. I didn’t care that my actions were going against his command of going easy. I never wanted anything so badly in my life.

I cried out over and over, practically attacking his hand as he slid his finger in and out of my pussy. “Alek, I want to come,” I whispered hesitantly, then added, “Please.”

“I know, kitten.” His voice dripped with seduction. My eyes flew open. I found his, feeling wild and dirty but loving every minute.

“I love how your fingers feel on my clit.”

He backed his finger out of me and rubbed it until I was practically delirious. “Like that?”

“Uh-huh, just like that.” I spread my legs wider. “I also like it when you put your finger inside me and tease me with it. It feels so good. Tease me. I need it.”

He groaned at my words. I panted hard and frantically rocked against him. It was pure ecstasy, what he was doing to me, and I loved every second of it. The sound of the slickness of my arousal as he fucked me with his finger only excited me more.

“Alek, I need…need…you…” I whispered.

The throbbing between my legs was more intense than any of the few solo actions I’d ever done. But somewhere in the back of my head, I wanted to hear him say it. I wanted him to give me permission. I needed him to.

“Kitten, I’m here. What do you need? Ask me and I’ll give it to you.”

Sobs racked through me. My need was so specific, and I wasn’t sure how to articulate it appropriately. There was something entirely euphoric about this simple act with him. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I’d never allowed myself to dream of something this intimate.

Since he picked me up in his arms earlier and carried me to his room, he made me feel some kind of way. It was hard to explain, but it was reminiscent of those moments while we were at the gala event before everything got complicated. He was sweet Alek right now, and I loved it. I slowed my pace down, rocking more softly now.

“What is it? Do you want to stop?”

He leaned in, and his free hand moved my hair back from my neck before he gently kissed it. He pulled out and cupped my pussy as I squeezed his hand between my legs, trying to keep it there.

“No, it’s not that. It’s…I want to come…but…”

“Are you having trouble, then?”

Concern and understanding filled his voice. It was like he knew what I needed. I nodded my head, my cheeks burning with embarrassment once again. A moment of fear slipped in. What if I was so broken that I couldn’t come at all with a man?

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