Page 33 of Doubts & Fears

If I thought my earlier feelings of conflict were confusing, this topped it by leaps and bounds. I loved it and also hated myself for craving this and responding. I should be horrified and screaming. Any sane person with my background would. Yet here I was, biting my lip to keep myself from asking him for more.

“You do not have my permission to come. Do you understand me?” he breathed as he rubbed my ass.

When I didn’t answer quickly enough, he brought his hand down hard. “Eleven. Yes, Sir, I won’t,” I cried, sobbing loudly. His first swat grounded me. I didn’t care that they could hear me crying. I was hanging on by a thread.

“Alek,” Ivan warned. I took a deep breath as I lay there.

“Look at me, please,” Alek commanded, and I turned my gaze to his face. “So beautiful. You’re doing so good. Do you need to use your safeword?” He wiped a tear from my cheek, his hand no longer on my ass.

“No, Sir.” I swallowed at the look of relief and pride in his eyes. My reward was his hand smacking me once more. “Twelve,” I screamed, clenching my legs together. He didn’t wait before giving me the next one.

“Oh, sweet lord, thirteen,” I cried out once more, rubbing against him.

When his hand rubbed the sting away, I moaned loudly.

His eyes were on fire as his cock throbbed beneath me. He held my gaze as he delivered the next smack.

“Fourteen,” I sobbed. He leaned down and brushed a kiss against my ass. His beard against the stinging flesh sent endorphins rushing through me. It was completely unreal. I arched my back.

“Last one.” He lifted his hand. I nodded, bracing myself, and spread my legs as wide as I could. When his hand landed on my pussy, it completely shattered me.

I cried out his name and then dissolved into a puddle of tears, sobbing and covering my face. My pussy throbbed as it dripped, and my ass hurt. The room swayed behind my blurry vision as he stood me up and pulled my skirt down.

My knees gave out, and before they hit the soft carpet, he caught me in his strong arms. He picked me up and kissed my tears as he walked down the hall with me.

I let it all out and rested my head against his chest. My emotions were everywhere. It was cathartic, this strange purging of all the emotions I held so tightly bottled up inside me.

Chapter 11

Kinsley

Come For Me, Kitten

“Shh, my pet, it’s okay. You’re going to be all right. You’re so fucking perfect. Such a good girl, too. I’m so proud of you. I’m going to hold you all night. Would you let me do that?” he whispered, and I nodded against his chest.

“Yes, Sir. Please.”

His body vibrated with a soft chuckle at my answer. Shifting me, he opened the door, walked in, and kicked it closed behind him. He set me on my feet gingerly, and my senses were engulfed by the room’s masculine feel.

It was done in black and soft grays. The bed was huge—I gulped and looked away. My breathing was ragged, and my entire body throbbed in frustration and need. Seeking comfort, I lowered my head to his chest. The soft material of his T-shirt provided a soothing caress as I clutched his forearms. I craved the solid support he offered.

“I’m going to undress you, kitten,” he breathed, touching the hem of my shirt before pulling it off. “And now this.”

He traced his fingertips down my chest and reached around, unclasping my bra. With featherlight touches, he cupped my breasts. I yielded to his touch, loving the gentle way his fingers moved over my skin.

“Damn, I love these.”

He knelt and removed my skirt. “You smell heavenly, my little pet.” He leaned against me, inhaling.

A desperate need to cling to something jolted through my veins as he nuzzled my inner thighs and gripped my ass. Shivers danced down my spine as I reached down and tangled my fingers in his silky strands.

A growl of frustration thundered through him as I tilted his head away from my pussy. Unable to control his emotions, he gazed up at me, the struggle in hiseyes mirroring my own. A sense of peace washed through me, knowing I wasn’t navigating this torment alone.

“Come on, let’s get you situated.” Once more, he picked me up and walked over to his bed. “Roll over, sweetness. Let me put some cream on you.”

I did as he asked, sighing. Footsteps sounded behind me as he left and came back with a jar. He rubbed some of the contents on my ass and whistled approvingly, while I sighed with relief.

Done with the cream, he stripped down to his boxers and lay down next to me. But when he gathered me against him, I pushed him away. His eyes were so blue, piercing to the depths of my soul.

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