Page 157 of Doubts & Fears

“I try hard not to. He doesn’t bait me, though, either, so there’s that. I’m sure you were quite adequately updated on my week, Torturer.”

“Torturer?”

“Yes, it’s my Death Squad nickname for you, or hadn’t the guys told you yet? Maybe there’s hope that my dignity hasn’t been completely annihilated. Anyway, yes. Personally, I think the nickname fits you to a T. That poor woman on your tattoo, symbolic of never coming again in her life.”

He laughed. “That’s right, I’ve heard you’re fascinated with the tattoos my friends and I have.”

“Fascinated? That’s a bit of an extreme observation. Pray tell, who told you that?”

“Ivan. He said you’re constantly tracing it. To the point where sometimes you do it in your sleep.”

“I’m also fascinated with Alek’s head and Nik’s pelvic bones.”

“Malyshka, you never told me that.” Nik’s deep voice washed over me. He pulled me to him and kissed me on the cheek.

“That’s because it’s in the forbidden touch zone, so I’m left to dream about touching them in order to contain myself.”

“You’re killing me.” He shook his head as he released me. I turned back to Sebastian.

“Tell me, was this location your choice, Caruso?”

“It was. Now, tell me, do you approve?”

“I don’t disapprove that they have one or that they use it. I understand the nuances of my Kings. But if you’re trying to make a statement of who’s in control, I think we all know the answer to that.”

“And who is in control?”

“Ultimately, my Kings are in control, but only because I relinquished mine to them. I know how it works. Again, what I lack in experience, I more than make up for in knowledge.”

“Actually, that’s what the follow-up is mainly about. I almost get as much pleasure hearing about the experience and what you learned as I do in listening to a woman let go after the long, hard months of edging her.”

“So you want to know what lessons I learned, and you wanted me to recount them here? In the playroom?”

“Something like that. Plus, I’m curious, given that we have never trained a virgin.”

“I’m not in training, Caruso, and if you want to have a conversation with me, you’ll refrain from using that word. Especially in context to me in this room, surrounded by implements of torture.” I stopped, then added, “And I don’t give a rat’s ass if you think I’m being sassy or not.”

I looked at Alek. “Sorry, Reaper, but I can barely stand the word. Saying it in here is a hard limit for me.” I notched my head, and my words settled into his soul.

“Duly noted, tiny tot.” Sebastian grinned.

“Caruso, I’ll tell you what you want to know, provided you promise not to tell Marcel.”

“I would think that was a given, especially since he has no knowledge of the past few days.”

Chapter 50

Kinsley

Recounting Hell Week

“Very well. The first thing I learned was that I have a newfound respect for Allison. I may not want to be besties with her, but I spoke to her briefly.” I smiled as their brows furrowed, probably imagining me being bitchy with her.

“Now, before the four of you blow a gasket, I was very kind and not at all a jealous shrew. I was very respectful. However, I needed to talk with someone who understood.” They listened closely. “I suppose I owe you a thank you, Caruso.”

“For what?”

“Modifying my schedule. Alek told me you did, and after speaking with Allison, mine was a walk in the park. Mind you, a walk in the park barefoot over scalding concrete, but not shards of glass like hers.”

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