Page 101 of Doubts & Fears

Her heart was breaking right before me. The memories she was accessing were strong. They would have to be for her to remember the exact feelings. Her next sweet words yanked me hard, back to the here and now.

“I thought they had a magical love, you know?”

“I can imagine,” I said, lost in her story.

In my heart, I knew she wasn’t lying. I smiled. I doubted whatever lie she would have tried to pass off would have been as authentic as this was.

“In my little seven-year-old capacity, that love felt sacred and special. I vowed I would have the same kind of love one day.” She looked so small and vulnerable at that moment. “Of course, silly me didn’t realize she was in subspace. Nevertheless, it was magical to me.” She flushed.

“Ms. Taylor, subspace or not, I think your parents’ love for one another was everything you thought it to be. Don’t sell the memory short. There’s nothing to be embarrassed by.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Not making fun of me. It’s silly, but honestly, it was one of the things that started me researching the lifestyle.”

“Have you ever been in a dynamic?”

“No.” Her eyes clouded, a measure of fear creeping in before she covered it. The shift was so subtle that had I not been staring, I would have missed it. Any further questions I had for her would have to wait. Our time was up, and I didn’t want to pushtoo hard.

“That is good to know. I’m sure Alek will be thrilled with that information.” I smiled. Her face lit up, and she straightened her shoulders.

“How about I call you the day after tomorrow and we can chat some more?”

“I’d like that. Really.”

“Two things before we go, and I’m going to need you to be completely honest with me, young lady. No playing around.” I grew stern.

“Yes, Sir, I understand,” she responded immediately.

“The pills you mentioned, how often were you taking them and what was the name?” I knew the name and dosage number already, but I needed to ensure with everything she was going through, she wasn’t at risk of abusing them.

She responded with the name and then surprised me. “I don’t want to take them anymore. I took two the night of the fire. Maybe I wouldn’t have…have accidentally started it if I was thinking clearer. I panicked.” She cried out, guilt rising off her.

“It was an accident. Please don’t continue to blame yourself. You can’t change the outcome. But I appreciate you being honest. Maybe we can discuss the fire at your next session. What do you think?”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“The last thing, and this one is very important. How are you feeling about space? Do you need or want to sleep in your own room for a while as you’re processing everything?”

“No, Sir, please. I’ve been honest with you. I don’t want to be alone,” she begged, her face paling.

“Okay, okay. I believe you. Don’t look so frantic. I was only trying to make sure if you did need space but were struggling with asking for it, you knew you could.”

“Oh, well then, no. I don’t need or want space.” She relaxed visibly, making me smile.

We hung up, and I FaceTimed the guys. I told them how well things had gone and filled them in on the information she’d asked me to share.

“You believe her, though, right?” Alek asked. He grimaced as if the sound of his own voice hurt.

“I thought I told you to lie down. And I believe 99 percent of her story. There was a shift when I asked about being in a dynamic,” I told them.

“Well, we know she has an aversion to the wordMaster, so maybe start there?” Alek said.

“Yeah, but only if you take your ass to bed. I swear, are you a glutton for punishment or what? I can’t make her talk faster to soothe your migraine.” Ishook my head. He needed to learn that it was okay to slow down and not have all the answers.

His gaze moved, and he paused. “Kitten, you can come in. Are you okay?”

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