Page 1 of Doubts & Fears

Chapter 1

Aleksandr

Covered in Soot

My world crumbled, as the heat from the blaze hit me even from the distance. The acrid smoke stung my eyes, making it hard to breathe, but I couldn’t look away from the inferno. Not until piercing screams caught our attention.

“Let me go.”

Kinsley tried to push and shove her way through the paramedics. Her focus solely on the house’s flames and billowing smoke.

“Kinsley,” I yelled, my voice coated in hysteria and cracking.

On trembling legs, I rose from the ground, propelled by a surge of adrenaline, her voice a lifeline. Euphoria filled me, swirling and expanding to every cell in my body. She was okay. She clung to my forearms in a death grip, digging her nails in and leaving bloody marks.

“My bears. You don’t understand. I need them. They are all I have left. Please.” Her hands quivered uncontrollably, her breaths shallow and shaky. “I need to go inside and get them. Oh god, my blade. Owen gave…gave it to me.” Her tears tracked down her soot-covered face, and the pain in her eyes was almost unbearable.

With a heartbreaking cry, she broke down, at the reality of the devastation and loss. She tried pushing me away, but exhaustion had sapped all of her strength. Nik rushed over and pulled her into his arms, relief etched on his face.

“My sweet malyshka. I know. I know. But we need to let the firefighters do their job. We can’t go inside.”

“But…why, Nik,” she sobbed as he soothed her, rubbing small circles against her back.

As the fire raged on, I turned to speak to the paramedics to discuss any injuries she may have sustained and what she may have told them in the initial minuteswhen they found her. Not long after, an unmarked patrol car with flashing lights pulled up, and Franklin, the police chief, stepped out.

He surveyed the scene, a grim expression on his face. Deep lines etched his features, but relief trickled through me at his arrival. With measured strides, he approached, his gaze flickering between Nik holding Kinsley and the smoldering remains.

“You made it,” he said calmly.

“I thought we hadn’t, but she escaped through a hatch door,” I told him, repeating the information the paramedics had given me earlier.

He nodded, and his gaze softened momentarily. “You know I need to ask, right?” he said, his voice gentle but firm.

And I did, although I knew in my heart she would not be much good tonight. Especially given the alcohol and pill she took. It was my turn to nod, understanding the necessity but feeling torn in a thousand directions.

“Of course, but think we can keep it to a minimum? Just for tonight. I’m not sure how much she can handle. She’s lost a lot.”

“Understood.”

We stepped toward her and Nik. He was still holding her, and if I had to guess, I’d say he was singing. With the way his lips moved near her ear, he was definitely soothing her. Whatever he was doing, he stopped. She sensed us, and her eyes filled with fear and exhaustion.

“Kitten,” I said. “You remember the chief of police, Franklin? He has a few questions if you’re up for it.”

She clawed at Nik’s back, her body trembling as she shook her head.

“It’s okay, you can do it,” Nik encouraged.

Sniffling, she nestled herself further into his chest and murmured, “It was an accident. A piece of paper and a candle. Oh god! It’s my fault. I…I…they’re gone forever now.” Her breathing grew shallow, and she hyperventilated. “I have to leave right now. I-I need t-to go. I can’t stay…”

Panic seized her as she flipped from sadness to stark terror. It was like a switch had been thrown. The chief stepped back, giving her space, and our eyes met.

Nik ran a hand over her hair, trying to soothe her once again. He cupped her face in his large hands. “Breathe with me. You’re going to have a panic attack if you don’t calm down. Feel my breathing. Now match it, young lady.”

“I’m not safe…have…have to…go…” Her whole body shook as she gulped air between each word.

Nik met my eyes, her words a stark revelation that we needed to uncover the meaning of. If what she said was true and she wasn’t safe, then we needed to know why. With a nod of my head, he took over with her and did what he did best.

“Baby girl, you’re safe with me.” He spoke to her in Russian and held her tightly against his chest.

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