“She broke my heart when she couldn’t love me for who I am. You both did.” As far as strength and power went, mynarrow shoulders and short stature couldn’t compete with my father. I’d have to rely on the strength of my convictions instead. I stood up straight, looked him in the eye, and said, “You need to leave and let me make myself a home where I belong. I’m gay. I’ve always been gay, and I will always be gay. Nothing you say or do can change that.”
For a moment, I thought he’d give into the rage and regret and hit me. His hands stayed fisted at his sides, though, and his lips stayed pressed tightly together. Finn hovered nearby, and I knew he’d step in if things went bad.
For the first time in my life, I felt like maybe I didn’t need help. I refused to drop my gaze or cringe before my father’s furious gaze. I’d mourn the loss of family down the road, I knew, but I’d have no regrets.
Without another word, my father stormed past me to the door, flung it open, and jogged down the steps to a rental car near the gate. In a swirl of dust and autumn leaves, he disappeared from the inn property and my life.
A heavy hand landed on my shoulder, and I nearly squeaked with the feeling so similar to my father’s hand so many times before. I turned to see Finn smiling down at me right before he pulled me into a huge hug. “I’m proud of you, Oscar.” His voice rumbled against the side of my head. “Be proud of yourself, too.” He pulled back to look into my eyes and nodded.
With the adrenaline of the moment gone, my shoulders slumped, and the corners of my eyes started to burn. My father didn’t deserve my tears, but I realized they weren’t really for him. I swiped at them and took another deep breath. “I want a good life. I want a place of my own and a good job. I want to live out and proud and free. I want a good man at my side. I deserve all those things.”
Finn didn’t look so scary when he smiled. “You do.” After another quick hug, he turned toward the coffee pot and pouredme a cup. “You know you can stay here for as long as you need to. Carter and I don’t mind all.”
I nodded and took a sip. “I know, and I’m so grateful, but I have to make my own home here, you know? I need to build a real life.”
With a nod, he leaned back against the counter and flashed a teasing smile my direction. “I heard a rumor that you’ve found a good man already. That’s a good reason to get your own place, too, huh?”
My cheeks heated, and I tried to hide my blush in my coffee mug. “Yeah. Zane’s… well, I like him.” Sometimes I felt like such a child, like a boy with his first crush. It was the first time I’d felt more than interest plus a bit of lust for someone, that’s for sure.
“Well, I don’t know the guy very well, but he seems decent.” He pushed upright and headed toward the door. “I have to get to the inn. The unexpected visitor put a crimp in my scone-making schedule. Have a good day, Oscar. You deserve it.”
I did deserve it, and I knew only one place where I could have the best day ever. A quick text to Zane assured me that he’d be done with work before one, and he’d love to see me. The ‘love’ in that simple sentence made me tingle even though I knew he didn’t mean it in the emotional, romantic way. It’s not like I loved him either.Yet,my mind whispered to me as I pulled my jacket on over my sweater later on after lunch. This felt like more than a simple crush, though, and I definitely wanted more.
***
Zane’s lips met mine even before I could stand up all the way. My butt was cold from sitting on the front step to his apartment, but the heat spreading from his mouth lit everything else on fire. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me again. “It’s nice cominghome to you.” He blinked and grinned. “I mean, seeing you here after I get off work.”
“I know what you mean.” I clutched at his thick hoodie and pulled him in for another kiss. “I missed you.” Was that too much? The look in his warm hazel eyes told me his answer.
He laughed and headed toward the door. “Let’s get inside. I need a shower, but you can hang out for a bit, right?”
I followed him inside. “Yeah, I wouldn’t have come over if I couldn’t stay. I’ll play with Sugar.” At the sound of her name, the adorable white fluffball hopped up from her purple bed and pranced over for petting. I managed to hang up my jacket on the peg near the door and make it to the couch before succumbing to her charms.
Zane laughed again before turning toward the hall. “I’ll be out super quick. Have to wash the truck muck off me.”
I tried to keep my mind on Sugar and not imagine Zane all wet and naked on the other side of the wall. She got bored with me soon enough, however, and went back to her bed to chew on a flower toy. The thoughts of Zane in the shower were anything but boring.
The sound of the water running rumbled through the wall, and the thought of it cascading over his body… I sat back and adjusted my jeans. What would he do if he came out and found me hard and waiting for him? Those thoughts didn’t help calm things down at all. Before I could get a handle on the hot fantasies, the water shut off. A few minutes later, Zane stepped out into the hall in nothing but a towel slung around his hips.
He looked nothing like Wyatt had. The sudden thought made me pause. I mean, they were obviously identical twins and had pretty much the same size, shape, and features, but looking at Zane was a whole different experience. My dick plumped so fast I gasped at the pressure on the inside of my zipper.
Zane turned back to look at me, his gaze flickering from my eyes to my chest and down until snapping back to my face. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “You look so hot sitting there,” he said and stepped closer. His slender body didn’t have an ounce of fat on it, every inch nothing but sculpted muscles and pale skin. In clothes, he looked a bit skinny even, but out of them, I could easily imagine him climbing ropes and clinging to cliffs using the power of his muscles alone.
My cheeks grew as hot as every other part of me. “I look hot? Look at you.”
He glanced down at his low-slung towel before meeting my eyes again. Without another word, he jerked his chin toward the door on the other side of the hall. I hadn’t seen his bedroom before. No one had ever invited me into their bedroom, and a swirl of nerves washed through me. The desire outpaced anxiety, though, and I stood up and followed him down the short hall.
The moment the door closed behind us, Zane gave up and pretense of coyness. His hands gripped my hips as he pulled me closer. Our mouths met again, his minty fresh now and so hot against mine. Tongues met, stroked, and tangled in a natural rhythm that I hoped hid my lack of experience.
Sure, I’d kissed a few guys and traded handjobs a time or two, but this was something totally different than making out in the dark or getting off as fast as possible before someone caught us. We had a locked door between us and the rest of the world, a bed covered with a striped, green quilt, and hours of free time.
Zane’s hands pushed up under my sweater and t-shirt and stroked my back. “Can I?” He pushed the fabric higher as his lips met mine once more. A breathless ‘yes’ was all he needed to pull them off over my head and get his hands back on my body. “Look at you.” He did exactly that, and his fingers trailed over every inch his eyes explored.
“I’m nothing special. Not like all this.” I channeled some of the bravery that helped me earlier that morning. I wanted Zane, and I wasn’t going to let doubts stand in my way. The lithe muscles under my palms bunched and shifted when he pulled me close.
His lips hit my jaw and slid to the sensitive spot under my ear. “You’re special, Oscar. You’re hot and beautiful and…” He nipped at my skin before teasing my earlobe with his tongue. “Sweet as hell.”
My hips rocked against his. Even though my jeans and his fluffy towel, I could feel the hard length of him press and shift against me. “Zane.” I didn’t know what I wanted or how to ask for it. All I knew was that I wanted more.