Page 14 of Fighting Fate
Depression lived heavily on Baylor’s chest all hours of the day. While that was a familiar state, this was different. Work wasn’t saving him anymore. Chipper had kicked the door open, reminding him how love felt, and he couldn’t shut it out. Feelings bombarded him. He listened to Chipper’s voicemails over and over, hearing the desperation in his voice and guilt ate at him. Baylor didn’t know if it was for betraying Freddie or ignoring Chipper. It was ridiculous how bad he still felt after his illness, and that added another layer to his inability to think straight. He had honestly believed coming to stay with Bandit would help. It always had in the past. Nothing soothed him now. Nothing distracted him. It was just Baylor and reality, and the reality was, he had feelings for Chipper.
He heard Bandit’s keys turn in the door. Baylor tried to hide his emotions. Bandit had dealt with his issues their entire lives. He had to be so exhausted by Baylor.
The door swung open, and Chipper stepped inside. Baylor’s heart stopped and then soared. The way he felt at the sight of Chipper said so much more than all the overthinking in the world. He couldn’t hide from this.
Chipper’s gaze landed on Baylor. His hard expression was new and didn’t give Baylor hope. It looked like he was done with Baylor’s bullshit and that was completely fair. Baylor was tired too. Chipper didn’t bother saying hello.
“You don’t know how to answer a damn phone?” He sliced his hand through the air, silencing Baylor before he even had time to respond. “Obviously, you forgot you have an appointment to check your kidney function tomorrow. FYI, my mom died when her kidneys shut down because she was too stubborn to accept she was sick, and you’re not doing that shit to me too. So, stand up, get your shit, and get in the damn car so we can fly back home. You have exactly five minutes, or so help me, I will carry your ass out of here. Do you understand?”
He hadn’t known about Chipper’s mom. Now he had a new guilt to add to the list. “You’re right. I forgot.”
“Four and half minutes.”
Damn. He really was mad. A tiny part of Baylor wanted to call his bluff, except Baylor knew Chipper didn’t play like that. Baylor stood. Luckily, he was still mostly packed. It didn’t take much to gather his things. Chipper followed on his heels, blatantly supervising, as if scared Baylor might sneak out a window. He deserved that.
Chipper picked up his prescription bottles and checked them. “At least you’ve taken your meds.”
It was easy to remember two more pills when he already took all the crazy drugs. He imagined that was his biggest problem right now. Baylor hadn’t taken his meds while he stayed with Chipper. He had been so sick; it hadn’t even occurred to him until his mental health took a dive. Now he had to get the happy pills pumping through his system again before he stepped into traffic.
Chipper helped gather his things.
Baylor didn’t argue. The truth was, he belonged with Chipper. He knew that now because it felt like he packed to go home. Things were a little more tense than he liked, though. Chipper didn’t really speak, and that wasn’t like him.
Bandit came through the door as Chipper dragged his bags outside. He watched Chipper go before focusing on Baylor. “Good. You’ve come to your senses.”
Baylor smiled despite himself. Bandit never pulled any punches. “I forgot I have a doctor’s appointment in California tomorrow, but I’ll see you again soon. You know I can’t stay away.”
Bandit hugged him and kissed the top of his head. “I know. That’s who we are. We’re twin flames or whatever the fuck that street psychic yelled at us that one time.”
Baylor laughed against Bandit’s chest, but it was true. Sometimes a person’s other half was a friend. Bandit was irreplaceable. He gave Bandit a final squeeze. “I love you.”
“I love you too, babe. Now go before Chipper throws you over his shoulder.”
With a laugh, Baylor headed for the door. He knew Chipper would do exactly that if he didn’t move his ass. Chipper stood next to an unfamiliar SUV, holding open the passenger door. Baylor assumed it was a rental. He climbed inside and put on his seatbelt like a good boy.
Chipper didn’t speak to him again until they were halfway to the airport and Baylor couldn’t leap from the car. “Why did you lie to me about the date on your back?”
He supposed this conversation had always been inevitable. “I didn’t lie. I bet every ounce of myself on love and lost.”
“I knew Freddie. He seemed like a great guy.”
Baylor smiled. Of course, Chipper knew Freddie. Chipper never sat still and knew everyone. Baylor realized he was smiling. Chipper had said Freddie’s name and all he felt was grateful two of the best men he had ever known knew each other. Chipper was exactly the kind of guy Freddie would have adored. They were a lot alike.
“He was a huge goofball. I’d never had anyone in my life like him before we met. It was a refreshing change from getting my ass kicked every day. I don’t think anyone can understand that unless they’ve been there.”
“You’re allowed to say things like that to me.”
Baylor chuckled. There was no humor in the sound. “I don’t think you listened when I told you not to take my mental instability personally.” He motioned toward his head even though Chipper watched the road. “This is a mess. I’ve done all the therapy and taken all the meds. Some things are unfixable. I want to talk about them, but the words choke me.” He ran his hand down Chipper’s arm and linked fingers with him. Chipper cast him a quick glance and Baylor didn’t let go. “If I could talk to anyone, it would be you. You make me feel things and that’s terrifying. When you kissed me that first time, I felt like I betrayed them. You’re the only person I’ve let touch me since they died.” Baylor dropped his gaze to his lap, but he didn’t release Chipper’s hand. It seemed he had more to say than he realized. He had to stop before he cried again. The tears were so bottomless. He was so exhausted.
Chipper kissed his hand.
Baylor smiled to himself. He closed his eyes and savored Chipper’s lips on his skin. Freddie would have wanted this for him. He would never want Baylor to cry like this and spend his life alone. In fact, he felt like Freddie had handpicked Chipper. Chipper was the kind of guy Freddie respected. It was Baylor who couldn’t let go.
“I don’t know why I haven’t been able to stay away from you. This is the first time I’ve made a complete ass of myself to be close to someone. The party you’re throwing for Eric started as only a way to see you. On my end, of course. Obviously, Oakley wants to throw a huge party for Eric, but I just wanted to see you. Tell me why you haven’t let anyone else touch you since Freddie, and I’ve never felt like this about anyone. Is that only a coincidence?”
Chipper was this huge child who kicked people’s ass for a living, but he was also a goddamn adult. He communicated. It was a good thing he was strong because Baylor was weak as hell. Chipper’s solid personality made him braver. “No. I don’t think it’s a coincidence.”
Chipper kissed Baylor’s hand again. “Okay. I’ll keep fighting for this, then, as long as you’ll fight a little for me too.”
