Page 68 of Star-crossed Betas
“As fun as that sounds,” Jas says sarcastically, “I’m going to steal the birthday boy for a walk.” I get a pit in my stomach because Jas is acting strange.
“Okay, sure,” I agree, knowing I need to hear what he has to say because it’s already putting me on edge.
“Want us to wait and start the film when you get back?” Cee asks.
“Nah, it’s okay. You guys go ahead,” I reply and kiss the top of his head as I get up.
“I’m just gonna call my parents quickly to make sure Henry settled alright,” Jade says to Jasper before giving him a peck on the cheek as she leaves the room.
The weather is fairly mild for late September, but I think it would most definitely be too cold for a late-night walk if we were human. We head down the garden path in silence, and then I lead us towards a footpath that starts across the road. It’s a clear night with only a crescent moon, and this far away from any city lights, the stars shine brightly in the sky. It’s stunning, and I wish I could take a photo that would do it justice.
“So, why the ominous walk?” I ask nervously after a few minutes. Jas takes a deep breath and then blows it out.
“It’s him, isn’t it?”
“You’ll need to be more specific. What is who?”
“Years ago, when Jade and I were getting our house renovated, we were living at Mum and Dad’s for a few months, and you used to sneak out, sometimes all night. You were going to meet Connor, weren’t you?” I’m not sure what I was expecting from this conversation, but it wasn’t this. I can’t even fathom why he’d be thinking back to then; it was so long ago.
“Erm…” I stumble over my words, not sure how to answer this. There seems little point in lying, but I feel as if anything I say will give him more questions than answers. Sighing, I answer him honestly, “Yes. It was him. What on earth made you guess that after all this time?”
“Wow.” He blinks at me, wide-eyed. “I kind of figured, but hearing you say it is just… Wow.” We walk further down the footpath in silence as he gathers his thoughts. “At first, I thought it was strange how comfortable the two of you seemed so quickly. Then tonight, he kept calling you ‘Fee,’ like he’d been saying it forever. And his scent has always been so familiar, but I could never quite place from when or where. I assumed I must have crossed paths with him before, and it all sort of clicked tonight.” Sometimes, Jas seems like he can’t see what’s under his own nose, and other times, I’m blown away by how perceptive he is. I exhale a deep breath. It’s a lot to explain.
I go with the truth, and I tell him almost everything; how we met, how we were together for almost four years, how we broke up when I got engaged to Niamh, and how we didn’t speak again until the day before we got married.
“Why did you agree to marry Niamh? You obviously love him. I don’t get why you wouldn’t just refuse. They could have found another way.”
I debate answering this part honestly. With the Order passed, I can speak about it without gagging on the words, but I don’t want to cause a rift. Nevertheless, I also need to know this isn’t something Jas will ever do to someone when he becomes Alpha.
“My Alpha Ordered it. I didn’t have a choice. Connor still doesn’t know.” I confess quietly, as though my mum could be hiding around the corner and hear me. I know I’ve dropped a bombshell on him.
“Mum did fucking, what?” he asks.
“You heard me correctly, Jas.” I sigh.
“What the fuck? She broke the law? She violated the pack bond. How could she do that? She’s the one who taught me I shouldneverdo that.” Jasper’s voice is raised in anger. I don’t blame him, but it makes me feel raw to hash it all out again.
“I know, okay? I know. But it’s in the past, and we can’t change it. I need you to keep this to yourself, though,” I plead with him.
“Fuck. How are things okay with you and Connor if he doesn’t even know?”
“I think, in his own way, he’s forgiven me for it. He cut off all contact with me for a year. Then he spent a week being pretty vicious and horrible to me. And over the last six months, we’ve sort of just slowly ended up in a better place.”
It’s the first time I’ve really acknowledged to myself how huge it is that Cee has forgiven me when he thinks I was going to voluntarily marry his twin sister. I’ve thought of telling him the truth plenty of times since we got back together, but it feels like picking at a scab that will inevitably get infected, and things are so good between us at the moment.
“Damn. He’s a better man than I am. I don’t think I’d have moved past that.”
“Yeah, I’m very lucky. It got ugly there for a while, but now I’m married to my best friend, so it’s hard to be too upset about how we got here,” I say with a small smile playing on my lips, remembering how Cee worried himself sick over making a good impression on my family tonight.
“I’m glad you’re happy, but I think you should tell him the truth,” Jas replies. I’m surprised by the suggestion, given what’s at stake if this gets out.
“Why? Surely, the fewer people who know about this, the better.”
“I know it came from a good place, but I honestly don’t think you had the right to keep that from him. If all that shit had gone down, and I’d only known half the facts, it would have driven meinsane, trying to piece it all together.” I can feel myself getting defensive, but I don’t want to argue. I really don’t see what good it would do to tell Cee now, even if I can feel the truth to Jasper’s words. I can’t go back in time and tell him at a point where knowing could have eased some of his pain. What’s done is done. “I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty. Most of the time, though, an ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. I don’t even know what to say to that. Since we’re having a heart-to-heart, I brace myself and ask him something that’s been nagging at me for a while.
“Areyouhappy?”
