Page 51 of Star-crossed Betas

Do not text him:Assuming you borrowed my car and we haven’t been robbed?

I should probably change his contact information since we’re married and living together and shit.

Me:Yep, just me. Hope that’s ok, I didn't want to wake you. Will only be an hour or so.

Do not text him:No probs

As I step inside the shop, the smell of camping gear has me suddenly nostalgic for childhood holidays. I head straight for the section promising to provide me with a short-term solution to my ‘physical distance’ problem. I grab a double air mattress plus a sleeping bag from the shelves and make my way over to the tills.

I obviously can’t sleep on an airbed forever. Nevertheless, I’m hoping it’ll buy me enough time to figure out what to do where Phoenix Campbell is concerned.

“Do you have a discount card?” the guy at the checkout asks. ‘Josh’, his name tag says.

“No.”

“It’d save you ten pound.”

“Thanks, but I don’t foresee a lot of camping in my future.” He looks at the airbed and the sleeping bag and then back at me. While I appreciate my purchases might appear to contradict that statement, I didn’t come to Go Outdoors on a Sunday morning to be judged by ‘stoner Josh,’ so I stare at him until he continues.

“That’ll be a hundred and forty quid.” Jeez, that's expensive for a piece of plastic and a glorified blanket.

As I walk back to the car, I give myself another pep talk, reminding myself this is for the best. I need space—physical space. Each night I spend in bed with him, my feelings start pouring out of me like a fountain. Good luck,feelings, because tonight I’ll be in the spare bedroom with only myownlimbs to contend with.

On the drive home, I give Niamh a call.

“Am I the problem? Is it me?” I ask her as soon as the call connects.

“Most people say ‘Hello, how are you?' before they launch into an existential crisis on the phone.’”

“Hello, how are you?” I retort, my voice laced with sarcasm.

“I’m great, thank you for asking. You’re on loudspeaker by the way. I’m helping Will pick out an outfit for his date tonight.”

“Ooo. Who’s the lucky guy, Will?”

Although wolf shifters are all fairly fluid where sexuality is concerned, he's only ever really been attracted to men. I'm similar to Will, whereas Phoenix has always been pretty evenly attracted to all genders.

Will and I had a rough few months after he and Niamh got married. He had moved into Niamh’s place to keep up appearances, and I was living in their spare room after destroying my flat. I considered crashing with Sammy, but he didn’t know the full story, and it seemed too exhausting to keep up the charade of being fine, day in and day out.

Unfortunately, I was the one person Will desperately needed space from, especially after the June drunken sex debacle. He was only trying to be a good friend because I’d been moping and feeling sorry for myself all day. Will had offered to take me out to get drunk and dance to take my mind off the fact it would have been my and Phoenix’s anniversary. It worked for a little while; we both got totally wankered and stayed out until three am. When we got home to an empty house—Niamh was in London for work—we ended up in my bed together.

I was drunk and sad; Will was warm and familiar. The sex wasn’t great. We were both too inebriated to be particularly co-ordinated and the fact I’d never topped anyone before—showed. As much as I’m almost a hundred percent sure the experience was as lacking for him as it was for me, it made things awkward and tense between us for a few months afterwards. Especially living under the same roof…

Will’s voice interrupts my wandering thoughts.“Nobody you know. I don’t think anything will come of it; I just think it’s time to put myself out there.”He sounds surprisingly cheerful about a date he’s already decided doesn’t have a future.

“Hold up, is this a date or a hookup, Will? Because the outfit I’ve picked out for you says ‘let’s watch a movie and a dry hump if you’re lucky’ not ‘I’m a naughty little twink that likes to get railed into next Sunday’, so which is it???”Niamh asks Will, and I have to bite my lip to stop from howling with laughter down the phone.

“Do you have an option for something in the middle? In the unlikely event he’s the love of my life, I don’t want to forever hear, ‘Do you remember how on our first date you dressed like a sexy stripper?’ but also, if he’s not the love of my life, I would not say no to being railed into next Sunday,”he replies.

“I’m not a magician,”she deadpans, and Will sighs loudly.

“Dark grey skinny jeans with my old Ramones t-shirt you criminally took scissors to and turned into a crop top,” I suggest. “You’ll look hot but not tootry hard.”

“Lip-gloss or no lip-gloss?”he asks.

“No lip-gloss. Try the rosy-tinted lip balm,”Niamh replies.“Anyway, let’s go back to talking about how you’re the problem, Con.”

“Right. Yes, that. So I did a stupid thing,” I tell her. “Last night, me and Phoenix got into a slightly heated argument, and I may or may not have accidentally fucked my husband.”

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