Page 17 of Star-crossed Betas

Seven

March 2022 - Present Day

Connor Kelly

After the small ceremony, Phoenix and I head towards the treeline. The branches are still bare, but the tiny daisies beginning to bloom in the grass show spring is right around the corner. I strip down quickly so I can shift and burn off some of the pent-up anxiety pumping around my nervous system. My insides feel raw and exposed, and I desperately want to get to wherever we’re staying tonight so I can lock myself away in the dark.

I’m calmer as a wolf; all my swirling thoughts slow down and become easier to manage and process. Phoenix pads towards me on all fours; he walks slowly, his head bowed slightly in submission.

“Cee. Follow me. I’ll show you my home. Please follow me. I missed you.”The stream of thoughts startle me; it never evenoccurred to me that the ceremony would create a pack bond between us. A jumbled rush of emotions crashes into me at the thought of a tangible bond between us, but I can’t deal with that right now. I nod at him again without responding, knowing he'll sense my messy feelings down the bond and not wanting to reveal so much of myself to him.

He sets off running, and I easily match his pace; a stubborn part of me is unwilling to follow from behind, so I stay on his right-hand side, hearing nothing but the rhythmicthud thud thudof our paws hitting the ground as we run.

“Are we alone tonight?”I brave sending the thought after we’ve been running for almost an hour. Anxiety over potentially spending even more of the day around strangers overcomes my desire to give Phoenix the silent treatment.

“Just us tonight. Wedding night,”he replies.

I falter at his thoughts and stumble over a large tree root, tumbling over my front paws. If I were in my human form, I would not be able to hide the blush on my face. I’ve never been so grateful for my dark grey fur.

Phoenix slows down and nudges my face with his own, checking I’m okay.

“Didn’t mean it that way. Family tradition. We’ll stay in my home, not my family home.”

I right myself as his thoughts come tumbling into my mind; there’s an amusement behind them, clearly finding it funny where my thoughts went when I heard 'wedding night'.I should probably be more embarrassed than I am. But given Phoenix has witnessed almost every single one of my most raw and vulnerable moments, it seems a pointless endeavour.

We keep running until we reach what appears to be a small farmhouse on a hillside overlooking a lake. It's weird stepping foot on Campbell territory; I always assumed I’d sense I didn’t belong, yet there’s no denying the beauty and calm here. The sunis setting in the sky, making the clouds glow in stunning shades of orange and pink.

I pause at the gate, taking in my surroundings. Phoenix’s home is a small, slatestone cottage with a sheltered veranda added on. It blends in beautifully with the landscape, and I can’t quite believe I’m really here.

Phoenix must have shifted back quickly because he’s already wearing low-slung jeans with a big rip in the knee, not the kind you buy ripped, the kind that are soft and torn from being well-worn. He walks towards me, holding out a pair of running shorts. I take them from his hand with my mouth, and he turns so his back is to me while I shift back and put them on.

“You saw me naked the day we met. Turnin’ away to preserve my modesty seems somewhat redundant, don’t you think?” He swivels back to face me, his shoulders drooping as though he’s carrying the weight of the world on them.

“Today was hard, Cee. I don’t have it in me to spend the rest of tonight in a verbal sparring match with you.” He sighs deeply, sounding more exhausted than I’ve ever known him to be. I don’t think he even looked this tired during his teacher training year.

“It’s Connor, not Cee,” I reply like an arsehole. I can hear how petty and unreasonable I’m being, but I can’t stop the word vomit from pouring out of my mouth. The need to get the last word in always overtaking any fucking common sense I possess.

Stomping ahead of him like the overgrown toddler I’m emanating today, I go full steam ahead, up the steps and onto the porch and then turn the door handle—the locked door handle. I huff irritably while waiting for Phoenix to catch up. He nudges a plant pot by the front door with his bare foot and retrieves a key from underneath.

Once he’s unlocked the front door, he lets me walk in ahead of him, and I can’t fight the overwhelming urge to sniff the airaround me. Phoenix's scent is embedded into his home, and it gives my chest an unwelcome ache. Unable to help myself, I run my hands over the furniture, needing to add my own scent into the mix.

It’s not very different from the pictures he showed me when he first moved in. It must have been around two years ago. It’s fully furnished and has obviously benefited from a lick of paint. Most of the walls are a neutral cream colour, but the far wall is a deep navy blue, and a comfy-looking, large, dark green sofa pushes up against it. There’s a wood-burning stove with a bookshelf to the right. I run my hands over the spines of the books, fighting a small smile at the endless history books. At least that hasn’t changed.

“If you like any of the furniture, we can bring it to the new place. Or if you’d rather bring your own furniture, that’s fine too. Or we can get new stuff,” Phoenix rambles.

“I don’t have any furniture. Bring whatever you want.” Phoenix’s brow scrunches in a confused expression. Still, I don’t elaborate on why I no longer have any of my own. It’s embarrassing, and I’d rather he didn’t find out.

“It’s a nice place. I suppose you wouldn’t have wanted to bring your new wife—sorry, I mean mysister—to an ugly home,” I lash out at him again.

“Stop,” he says firmly, “You know she was never going to live here, so just stop, okay?”

“Where am I sleeping?” I ask, ignoring his reply.

“There’s only one bed.” Because, of course, there is. I assess the sofa to decide whether it’s big enough for me to sleep on, and I quickly deduce that it most definitely is not. Sighing in defeat, all the fight drains out of me like a deflating balloon.

“Fine, lead the way,” I say quietly.

We manoeuvre around each other carefully, taking turns to shower and get ready for bed with minimal interaction.

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