Page 8 of Star-crossed Betas
I don’t return the compliment. It’s actually rude of him to look this good. The navy blue suit he’s wearing is tailored to him perfectly and complements his olive complexion in a way that should be illegal.
“It’s good you finally got to put the suit you bought for marrying my sister to use; it would have been a shame for it to have gone to waste.” I’m aiming for snarky, but the hurt in my voice is evident. Phoenix opens his mouth and closes it again, clearly thinking better of what he was going to say before clenching his jaw so tight it would take a crowbar to prise it back open.
I have a natural gift for making bad situations worse. Apparently, I’ve decided it’s not enough for this day to obliteratewhat’s left of my own shredded heart; I need to inflict some extra damage on him to even the playing field.
With the paperwork finalised, we file out of the house and into the garden, resembling a funeral procession. I knew my outfit choice would really complement the day’s sombre atmosphere.
The marriage ceremony is small today. Quite the opposite to the circus show the public wedding next weekend will be. Phoenix and I stand opposite each other in front of Calvin Eastwood underneath a wicker archway with white flowers weaved into it. Obnoxiously romantic for the circumstances, in my opinion.
Calvin is extremely tall and as broad as his dad, Alpha David Eastwood. Alpha Eastwood is adored by everyone in the region. His parents moved to England from Jamaica shortly before he was born, fleeing their pack for reasons similar to my da’s. He’s known for being approachable with a great sense of humour, and he’s clearly raised his son to follow in his footsteps. Calvin must be nearing six foot five; his brown skin is lighter than his dad’s since his mum is white. He has a calming presence I’m grateful for today.
His younger sister, Jade, is one of the witnesses today. She’s married to Phoenix’s brother Jasper, and their baby son, Henry, is sleeping in a sling cocooned against her chest.
Our respective Alphas stand close by, and I get a pang of envy at seeing Phoenix’s mum standing there when mine remains frozen in the past, existing only in memories.
The other witnesses on Phoenix’s side include his dad and younger brother Alfie. On my side, there’s Sam, Niamh and Will. As far as I know, the latter are the only people who know the whole truth of this catastrophe. I imagine that for them, this is not dissimilar to watching a car crash; you know it'll be grim, but morbid curiosity wins out, and you can’t quite bring yourself to look the other way.
I’ve not been paying attention to what Calvin’s been saying, mainly focusing my eyes on the trees behind Phoenix. As I shift my gaze, I glance at him, and I’m shocked to see those familiar soft brown eyes filled with so much hurt that if I had to speak right now, I think I’d choke on the words.
A niggle of regret stirs in my stomach over lashing out at him earlier. Still, I remind myself of his betrayal and the self-righteousness I’ve cloaked myself in for the past year, extinguishes any remaining embers of guilt.
Calvin’s voice uttering the vows we have to repeat back sounds distant, as though I’m listening from underwater.
Phoenix squares his shoulders, rallying for battle.
“I, Phoenix Frederick Campbell, promise you, Connor Liam Kelly, to honour and protect you, place your life above my own, and care for and cherish you until death parts us.” His eyes are glassy and filled with so much love and regret it pierces a small hole in my armour.
How am I supposed to stand by my resolve to hate him forever when he looks at me like that?
Now it’s my turn. I take a deep breath and silently beg my voice not to quiver, giving me away. Because I’m not completely deluded, I’m well aware this farce of a marriage will wreck me irrevocably.
“I, Connor Liam Kelly, promise you, Phoenix Frederick Campbell, to honour and protect you, place your life above my own, to care for and cherish you—” My voice cracks on the wordcherish,and I swallow a large gulp of air before continuing,“—until death parts us.” My eyes burn, remembering the hours I used to spend dreaming of the day Phoenix and I would stand in front of our families and be able to claim each other out in the open.
Be careful what you fucking wish for.
“You may now kiss,” Calvin says and my stomach drops. I'm not entirely sure how I managed to forget this fairly significant part of a wedding ceremony. We both hesitate, staring at each other wide-eyed. His gaze flickers to everyone watching, but I can tell from his expression that he's leaving the choice to me. I give him a barely-there nod, and we meet in the middle. It's chaste, a featherlight brush of his lips against mine, but it wakes up something inside me that I've worked hard to bury. Part of me wants to wipe my lips with the back of my hand, to try and undo the last thirty seconds, but it's too late. The endless memories of countless kisses are tattooed on my lips. Permanent. Irreversible.
With everyone seemingly oblivious to my internal crisis, Nina Fenwick replaces Calvin and stands between us. Nina is tall and slender, with smooth, dark brown skin and a bright, playful smile.
“Today’s binding ceremony is slightly different to normal,” she explains. “While I’ll be binding the two of you together in matrimony, I’ll also be binding you to this land.”
Well fuck, that sounds both potentially painful and concerning.
“Don’t look so worried, love,” she says, squeezing my shoulder as you would console a child.
Firstly, we tackle the part I’m familiar with. I watch as she pulls something from the pocket of her maroon blazer. A knife. The sun glints off the sharp metal blade as she unsheathes it.
Nina uses it to slice a shallow cut across our right palms and then presses our cut hands together. I have to hide my physical reaction to feeling his skin on mine for the first time in a year. A strong wind could knock me off my feet, and yet, the pull I've been ignoring for so long finally fades away. Nina cocoons our joined hands in between her own before closing her eyes.
“This binding is a magical manifestation of the marriage ceremony your family has witnessed here today. Your blood will recognise each other as kin and pack until the seal is broken by death or other means. The magic binding you represents a new family being formed and will solidify your bond.”
A sizzle of electricity sparks to life between our joined palms, travelling into my bloodstream and disembarking in my heart. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ignore the deeply buried emotions being stirred awake in my chest.
The binding ceremony itself existed prior to marriage in wolf shifter packs. It was a way to form a closer bond between shifters who weren’t true mates. Over the years, wolf shifters became more acclimated to human customs, and it became necessary for them to get married to access more mundane things, such as inheriting their partner’s pension after death. Nowadays, most wolf shifters who are true mates will exchange the mating bite and have a human marriage, whereas wolf shifters who aren’t mates will take part in the binding ceremony and a human marriage.
I look down at the palm of my hand, where the cut has already disappeared.
“It has been over a hundred years since a new pack has been bound to a territory in England. It’s a privilege to witness and participate in what will be a landmark moment in wolf shifter history today. When you’re ready, I’ll talk you through each step of the ritual,” Nina says.
