Page 29 of Star-crossed Betas

I let out a deep sigh and drop Phoenix’s hand as we head out of the front door and into the unusually sunny March day. My hand feels cold and empty; I’m itching to reach out again, but today, holding hands feels like the gateway drug of affection.

Phoenix Campbell

My stomach flutters with nerves as we pull up to Cee's dad’s house. It’s a large red brick terraced property somewhere south of Manchester. Niamh explained how the entire row of houses is owned by pack members. It's a culdesac with direct access to some woodland at the end, pretty ideal way of keeping shifters out of sight of humans so close to a big city.

Will is driving, and he seems almost as nervous as I am. As far as I’m aware, Cee hasn’t told Will I know what happened between them. To be honest, I’ve been trying to forget it myself. It’s torture watching every single interaction they have, looking to see if there’s anything more there than friendship. The wedding is tomorrow, and then we’ll be alone in Yorkshire, and as apprehensive as I am about that, I think I'll need it for the sake of my sanity. Will parks the car on the street outside, and we all spill out of his burnt-orange SEAT.

Niamh opens the front door without knocking, and there’s a lot of noise coming from deep within the house. Cee takes my coat to hang it up, then leads the way through the hall and down some stairs, where we enter a large kitchen dining room bustling with people. Cee's brother Sam is standing over a sizeable range cooker, stirring a giant pot of something that smells amazing. Alpha Kelly is sitting at the dining table playing some kind of card game with a few people who look close to his age. He looks up and grins at us as we walk into the room.

“Right on time to watch me steal both your dads’ money,” he shouts over to presumably Will. He smiles in response, butit looks a touch forced. Niamh explained yesterday how Alpha Kelly really lost his shit with them for getting married last year, and although she claims her dad is both quick to anger and quick to move on from it, Will is still wary of him.

“Clear the table, tea’s ready,” Sam announces, and everyone busies themselves. He places the large pot—which I can now see is a chilli—and a massive tray of baked potatoes onto the table. Niamh starts handing out plates and cutlery, and everyone dives in. I’m kind of taken aback; this is so far out of the realm ofmyfamily dinners that I’m not entirely sure what to do with myself.

“Here, gotta be quick, or these greedy fuckers’ll eat it all,” Cee says, smiling and placing a potato onto my plate. The volume dials down while everyone is busy devouring the delicious food, and there’s a laid-back atmosphere in the room I didn’t expect.

“Nervous for the big day tomorrow, lads?” Alpha Kelly asks as Will and Niamh start clearing away the empty dishes.

“A little,” I reply. “But it feels sort of odd since we’re already married.”

“Mm. You've settled into it faster than I thought. Wouldn’t have guessed you were practically strangers a week ago,” he says, his eyes sparkling knowingly. Too knowingly.

“Well, when you spend twenty-four hours a day with someone for a week, you get to know each other pretty quick,” Cee interrupts, and Niamh abruptly changes the subject. My neck sweats a little when I feel Alpha Kelly’s eyes still on me.

Fortunately, he's easily distracted by Sam and Niamh arguing over last weekend's footy results, and the rest of the evening is relatively uneventful.

Later that night, we’re both lying next to each other in bed, not touching, just side by side, and the silence is so suffocating thatit permeates the room. I think the weight of the spectacle that tomorrow will be, lies heavily on both of us. Cee's breathing is even, but I think he’s as wide awake as I am. It must be the early hours of the morning.

“I know this isn’t how either of us imagined our wedding to be,” I whisper, breaking the silence. “I know you still hate me,” I add, even quieter, “But there’s still nobody else I would ever want to do life with.” Connor’s breath hitches and I turn onto my side to face him. Seeing the silent tears run down his smooth, pale cheeks, I can’t help but tentatively reach out with my thumb to wipe them away. He looks into my eyes, and a sob escapes him.

“Can I hold you?” I ask gently. I see the moment all the fight drains out of him, and he nods his head ever so faintly. I pull him into me, and he buries his face into my neck, taking a deep breath. I wrap my arms tightly around him and put my thigh over his hip so there’s no space at all between us.

My heart breaks even more as he cries in my arms, but I think he needs to let it all out. If I can hold him as he falls apart for a short while, offer him some comfort in all this, it’s the least I can do for him. I rub my hand up and down his back until, eventually, he relaxes, and his breathing starts to even out.

“This wouldn’t hurt so much if I actually hated you,” he says, his voice muffled against my neck. He pulls his face away slightly, and his eyes are red and puffy, but he’s as beautiful as ever. I don’t expect it when he softly presses his lips to mine; it’s gentle, and there’s no heat behind it, but it’s painfully familiar.

I promise myself if I really do get a second chance with him, I’ll do better. I’ll never be the reason he’s sobbing in my arms again. Planting a chaste kiss against his forehead, I squeeze him tightly. Nothing more is said, but somehow, the air has been cleared a little. Tomorrow won’t be easy, but maybe it won’t be a total disaster either.

Eleven

December 2018 - Four Years Ago

Phoenix Campbell

Me:Merry Christmas babe, miss you! xx

Cee:It’s Christmas Eve

Me:It’s now past midnight so it’s Christmas day!

Cee:Yes but when you sent the message, it was 11:59pm

Me:I hope Santa brings you a lump of coal for being a shit.

Cee:MERRY CHRISTMAS FEE!!!!!

Me:Grrrrrr I hate you

Cee:No you don’t, you love me ;)

---