Page 2 of Heavy Petting

I walk outinto the street, where a few of the houses are still burning, and I head toward the central village square. I’m off to find a pet.

A human pet. One of thegoodones.

After dispatching so many of the more aggressive and wicked little beasts, I’m more curious than ever to learn more about the runts, outcasts, and oppressed submissives I was transported here to protect. They must be very precious and special, for the universe to have summoned guardians from a realm beyond their own.

My people felt their heartache too strongly to ignore, and our intertwining paths have now been secured, with my kind taking on the role of their caretakers more permanently.

We have been mythical to them until this time. We have been the watchers in the shadows, protecting from afar through fear of what we may do should they step too far in the wrong direction. They call us monsters, and it is the only name we know ourselves by. We have instilled fear into human hearts for generations in an attempt to help them behave. Many chose not to, but they are gone now. Only the innocent remain, and we are to share one world in harmony.

What does this even mean? This is all so new to me. If there is a handbook, then surely other monsters have been given the opportunity to claim a pet. Why have I not heard of such a thing? Are they too busy with their human-keeping duties to share their tales? Is taking care of a pet such an intensive undertaking? What am I in for?

I open the front cover ofThe Human-keeper’s Handbookand read the introduction.

Your servicein the preservation of humankind’s integrity has been recognized by the Infinite High Council, and you have been promoted to the status of Ultimate Guardian.

Congratulations, you have henceforth qualified for a soul companion.

You are now a MASTER.

In this rewarding new role,you will hold an honored position of power, trust, and responsibility. You are about to find out firsthand whom you have been fighting for and whom you will continue to protect, cherish, and provide for from this day onward.

It is time to find your new pet.

As foreign as the concept may seem, you will know your soul companion on sight and will intuitively know how best to care for them, to gain much happiness and fulfillment for you both.

It is a rare and wonderful bond between a monster and his human pet — one you will both come to treasure. It is an honest love, reciprocated.

Humans are delicate, social beings, who thrive on dutiful care and affection in a loving and stable home. They also delight in feeling useful, and in return for your firm but kind handling, they will offer you many years of pleasure, company, and loyal service.

For your human’s optimal happiness and reduced stress, it is wise to keep them occupied during their waking hours. Males are more sturdily built and can be trained to take on a light workload. Females can be more physically fragile, but they are just as easily trained for light duties, and many are also able to produce milk and young.

Please refer to the guidebook for key insights into providing a safe environment, adequate healthcare and nutrition, appropriate training and exercise, emotional support, and mental stimulation for your human.

Enjoy your new, special friend for who they are, and you will find the relationship incredibly satisfying.

Well,that all sounds delightful. A special friend that will leave me feeling loved and fulfilled?

Such a gift would never have come to me in the monster realm.

I scan the empty village streets, close the book, and pick up my pace. More than ready to find my human companion, I cannot get to the town square fast enough.

I am barely halfway there when a beautiful, bewitching song reaches my ears and leads me off course. The heavenly voice is coming from deep inside a large human residence. It’s not one I recall clearing in my eviction duties, but if there is someone left inside, they will be an innocent in need of protecting. I bang on the big, wooden door, but nobody comes to unlock it and let me in.

I press my ear to the wood, but I can no longer hear anyone singing. A silent human is not a good sign. Do they need my help? I toss the handbook aside, and rip the door from its hinges.

2

VANYA

I’ve been locked in my cage in the cellar for longer than usual, and I’m beginning to think they forgot about me.

I haven’t heard anybody moving about in the house above me since my mistress left for the market yesterday. There’s not even been a knock at the door from the milkman or the boy who delivers the telegrams. I’m petrified my owners went on vacation or something. Did they grow tired and cold of the isolation here in their remote country manor house and want to spend time at their summer villa?

They’re not pleasant people on the best of days, but leaving me locked away to starve is cruel even for them. I’d give anything to don my ball and chain and spend the day scrubbing the floors, so I could earn a crust of bread. My stomach grumbles in agreement, and I rattle the bars of my cage again, but it’s no use. They’re too sturdy. I hunch back into the corner and shiver.

I’m going to die here. If not of starvation, then of cold, perhaps. Wendell had me stripped before I was sent to bed without supper, and my only blanket is smelly and threadbare.

Or am I to succumb to some other ailment? The water in my bowl is stale and dangerously low. And my cage is so filthy, I could even die from some contagion before anyone finds me.

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