Page 62 of Total Shutdown

I pull a hand from underneath his, and it falls to the waistband of his black dress pants, his white button-down shirt casually tucked into them.

His eyes drop to where I’m fiddling with his black belt, trying to unloop it, and he smirks. “You want my cock, Collins?”

I nod once. “Yes.”

With his belt unfastened and hanging open, I begin working on the button and then his zipper.

Sawyer looks off to his left and down the dark hallway. At the top, people are entering and leaving the restrooms.

“I can’t fuck you here.”

I drop my head into the crook of his neck, releasing a soft moan. “Then take me home with you, like you want to.”

His forefinger finds my chin, lifting my head back up to face him. “I need to know where I stand. Before I push inside you, I have to know where my head should be. If it’s just sex, then I need to disconnect and fuck you.” He draws his bottom lip between his teeth, biting hard. “But if it’s more than that …”

His eyes fall to my lips, and memories of the kiss we shared at the Botanic Garden cause me to throb all over.

“But if it’s more than that,” he repeats softly, hopefully, “then I want to feel it all. I want to be all in and put my trust in you not to break me the first chance you get to leave town.”

The past few weeks pass before me like a slideshow. Sawyer and me outside of Rise Up. He and Ezra arriving at my garage, Ezra helping me detail my bike, then riding through the streets of Brooklyn together, Ezra giggling behind me. Sawyer asking me at the bar to come home with him, turning up at my apartment and asking me for a date. Me sitting next to him on the bench while we exchanged pieces of our past before we shared the best kiss I’d ever had. Sawyer telling me he couldn’t just be fuck buddies. Me tucking jelly beans into Ezra’s jacket pocket. It’s all there, clear as day. Begging me to take a leap and start dating this man for real.

“Can you do something for me?” I ask, twisting the end of his belt around my hand.

He drops his lips to my jaw and kisses me twice. “Anything.”

“Show me what it would be like if I said it was more than just a fuck.”

We don’t say goodbye to anyone as Sawyer takes me by the hand and leads me out of Lloyd’s and into the November Brooklyn night. His belt is barely fastened as we race for the exit.

As we cross the street and head for the parking lot he guided me to several weeks back, I feel a very different set of emotions.

I’m nervous.

I know my hand is trembling slightly, but I fight to keep my persona confident. I asked him to show me what it would be like if I was beneath him as his girl because I can’t curb my curiosity any longer.

I said no to him more times than I’d wanted, and tonight, I have to crack the door open and take a glimpse at what “more” with Sawyer Bryce would look like. And I don’t take this lightly, not for me, Sawyer, and especially not for Ezra.

Swinging the passenger door open to his black Lamborghini, I duck under his corded arm to get in, but a palm wraps around my wrist, spinning me back to face him.

“To be absolutely clear, if you get into my car and come home with me tonight, I’m not holding back, Collins. With your body, your mind, or in my own head. I’m giving you everything.”

I step toward him, not feeling the cold in only my T-shirt since we didn’t even head to the booth to collect my jacket or bag. Kendra will figure out that I left and take them home with her.

“That’s what I’m hoping for,” I whisper into the silent lot.

Sawyer closes his eyes, hand tightening on the doorframe. “Actually, I don’t think I can wait to get you in my bed.”

Lust takes over any nerves. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

He tips his chin at the black leather passenger seat. “Sit on there and face me.”

He releases my wrist, and I do as he commands. Dominant Sawyer is everything.

“What now?” I ask.

He runs a palm across the scruff of his jaw before glancing quickly over his shoulder, checking to see who’s around.

We’re all alone.

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