Page 78 of Total Shutdown

I drop my hands from my hair, slapping both thighs simultaneously. “All right, we fucked. Well, I say fucked, but it was …” I pause, heat rising through my body.

“Did it involve a pair of fluffy black handcuffs by chance?”

“How did you know?”

“Because …” She rises from the couch and heads for her bag, pulling the exact pair from the front pocket and dangling them in front of her. Nothing but amusement is in her voice as she says, “Whichever one of you decided to cover your tracks clearly forgot which drawer they had been kept in. Last time we’d used them, they were not stored in the middle drawer.”

Ugh, in my haste and panic, I threw them back in the dresser and pulled on my pants.

“So, tell me”—Kendra props a hand on her hip—“did he cuff you to my spare bed and make you see stars?”

“Not exactly.” I press my lips together, more memories flooding back. “He suspended me from the bar across the top and then ate me out until I saw stars.”

Jaw agape, she drops the cuffs, and they hit my hardwood floor. “H-he had you hanging from the bed while he …”

I nod once.

“Lawwwwd,” she drawls, returning the cuffs to her bag and walking back over to me, taking a seat. “I mean, how did he hold you up?”

“He balanced my legs on his shoulders so my pussy was in his face.” I hold a palm in front of my mouth. Christ knows why I do it. The girl doesn’t need a map.

“That is so … damn hot,” she sighs. “But I’m glad you didn’t break the bed.”

My head darts to look at her, and we both burst into fits of laughter.

“Archer walked in on us as we were finishing up. He saw my tits, the works.”

Kendra doubles over, clutching her stomach. “Oh my God, it hurts; it hurts. My stomach muscles are burning,” she gasps between breaths.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t laughing when I walked out of the spare room. I couldn’t even look at Archer for the rest of the night.”

And I couldn’t. I wouldn’t say we’re strangers since we’re part of the same friend group; we’ve laughed and joked around a bit, but flashing myself at him was not something I had planned on Saturday night. Obviously.

“Well, he hasn’t breathed a word to anyone, so I think your secret’s safe with me and him.”

I smile appreciatively.

“Though, seriously,” she continues, “Sawyer’s into kinky stuff, like you? You two are a match made in heaven.”

The temptation to deny we’re perfect together is right there, dancing on the tip of my tongue. I swallow it down and instinctively nod in agreement. “I don’t know exactly how kinky he is, but let’s just say, he both surprised me and blew my mind that night.”

Kendra’s lips twist in question. “So, are you two”—she crosses her index and second finger over—“dating?”

When I go back to fiddling with my hair, Kendra reaches up and takes my hand in hers. It’s a move I didn’t expect, but it’s comforting.

“Go for it, Babe. I can tell you really like him.”

On a long sigh, I bring my eyes to hers. I can’t remember the last time I sought reassurance from someone. Or more importantly, the last time I needed it.

“When he gets back to Brooklyn, we’re going to talk. I really like him, but I’m scared of what a relationship will mean.”

She squeezes my hand harder—more reassurance that soothes my worries. “A relationship is, and can look like, anything you want it to be. It doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself or what you love.”

I think back to what I had with Mike. He hated bikes and was uncompromising about it too. I could never imagine Sawyer being that way. Then I think about Ezra and how I love spending time with him.

“Is being with Sawyer what you want?” Kendra breaks the short silence that fell between us.

I find her eyes again and see the warmth in them. “I think it really is.”

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