Page 61 of Total Shutdown

Thisis how she likes it.

“Come home with me,” I plead. And it is a plea. It sounds like one as it tumbles from my lips, and it feels like one as my gut swirls while I wait for her response.

I try again. “Come home with me, and I’ll fuck your brains out. I’ll give you the best night of your life.”

Nothing.

“Collins,” I say way louder than I want, my forehead dropping to hers on an exhale. “Let me take you home, Baby Girl.”

I feel the way she melts into me as her hands frame the sides of my face, and she lifts my head and rises on her tiptoes.

“Sawyer, you told me you couldn’t and wouldn’t go for no strings.”

I’m powerless to prevent the whimper as it leaves my throat. “I know, but if that’s all you’ll give me, I’ll take it. What we have is too strong to ignore and I’m going to hang in there until you see it too, or when you’re ready. I’m yours to do with as you want, for however long you’re around. Maybe I am being an idiot and setting myself up for heartbreak, but I have to risk that you’ll catch up with my feelings. I have to go after what I want.” I press my hands over hers. “And what I want is you.”

CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO

COLLINS

“And what I want is you.”

Over and over, Sawyer’s demand replays in my head while my body melts into his, screaming the answer I desperately want to give.

I want this. I want him.

My limbs begin to tremble, the weight of my answer bearing down on us both.

If I sleep with him, will it be as more than just a fuck buddy? Or is he truly giving me a no-strings arrangement?

I open my mouth to answer and then hesitate.

“I’m so confused,” I whisper.

Hands still framing his cheeks, he covers them with his own and presses our palms into the sides of his face, eyes dark with more than just lust. “What’s got you confused, Baby Girl? Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

The nickname licks through my body in a delicious wave, making me pool with need. I hate nicknames—always have. Mike used to call me Honey, and it never sounded natural, coming from him. But the way Sawyer calls me Baby Girl? I’m trembling all over again.

“You,” I breathe. “You’ve got me all twisted up. Well, you and your son, to be exact. What are you doing to me?”

He just smiles, one that reaches his ears and sparkles in his eyes. “Some say my boy and I are the Dream Team.”

I close my eyes and swallow thickly. “I want you so badly.”

“How, Collins? How do you want me? Are we talking just my cock or more?”

I squeeze my eyes tighter.

“Open for me, Baby. Open.” His voice is soothing and persuasive.

Although persuasion is not what I need.

Courage.

That’s what I am searching for. An emotion I’ve never been short of, although it’s deserted me right now as I step into unknown territory.

When I crack an eye open, his handsome face stares straight back at me, brushing his thumbs over mine.

“Attagirl,” he croons. “So fucking beautiful.”

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