Yet, despite everything, a fragile hope tugged at her heartstrings.
She desperately wanted to believe he might understand.
She took a breath, the weight of her unspoken words pressing against her chest like a stone.
“It’s complicated,” Sylvie whispered, her voice barely more than a breath. It was a fragile confession, testing the waters between them. “It’s... it’s not just about seeing them again. It’s about everything that’s been taken from me. And I don’t know how to make sense of it...”
Haldor’s hand lingered on her shoulder, his expression softening as he leaned closer.
“Maybe I never will,” she murmured, stepping back from his touch, her throat burning with the words left unsaid.
“Talk to me, Sylvie,” he pressed, his voice edged with frustration. “I’m right here. You can tell me anything.”
“Can I?” she asked, turning to face him fully, her gaze piercing into his. Those eyes of icy blue swept her up in an instant, and for a moment she could see the earnestness of his plea. Her heart rose to the surface, the desire blossoming desperately, just to be heard - to be understood.
“Of course,” he said, hurt flashing in his eyes. “Haven’t I always been here, beside you?”
“This is different.” She studied him, weighing the risk. “If I share what’s in my heart, I’m afraid you’ll turn away from me.”
Haldor took a step closer, his eyes filled with concern, care. “Sylvie, there is nothing you could say that would make me turn away from you.”
She sucked in a breath, her voice lowering, trembling with emotion.
“This world, Haldor - it’s all sowrong.” She faced him, words gripping along her tongue, fear traced in every line, every word. “Canyou not feel it? There’s something stirring beneath the surface, rotted and wicked, something that gnaws at everything till all that’s good and pure wastes away.” She sucked in an uneasy breath, “And the temple it’s at the root of it all - the sacrifices, the blind obedience - I can’t keep pretending like I don’t see it, like I don’t feel it clawing at me every night, every day…”
His grip suddenly tightened on her arm, pulling her roughly toward him. She startled.
“Have you lost your mind?” he hissed, urgency blazing in his eyes as he dragged her away from the glow of the feasting halls, into the shadows of the trees. “You cannot voice such things so carelessly!”
Sylvie wrenched herself free, anger flashing hot beneath her skin, defiance hardening her jaw. “I’m not some petulant child to be scolded, Haldor!” Her voice rose, her frustration breaking through.
“Apparently you are, to be so stupid!” He shot back, tension lining his body like a wired spring.
“I thought you wanted me to share my truth, that you would listen - ”
“That was before I knew that you were about to speak words of treason!” He huffed, running a hand through his hair. “Haven’t you seen enough of pain?” He asked, exasperated."Your heart is deceitful, Sylvie. You cannot trust it. Such thoughts only lead to punishment - todeath."
“I no longer care about their punishments,” Sylvie countered, her voice breaking. Her hands trembled as she gestured wildly, frustration pouring out of her in jagged breaths.
“Why can’t you ever be content, Sylvie?” He barked. “Why must you wantmore- more than what the temple has given you, more than what the gods provide? Such selfishness is going to get you killed!”
Her hands balled into fists. “I could’ve had a life with my mother, mysister- but they stole that from me. They took me against my will to live a life that’s not meant to be mine.” Her eyes burned with unshed tears, raw with years of suppressed pain, hardly able to bear them any longer. “I feel this weight in my chest Haldor - the burdenof the truth. The truth that I’m not where I should be. That I’m notwhoI should be. I’m not meant for this path, no matter how hard I try.”
Compassion flitted through his eyes as he stared at her, stopping short. “So, this is how you truly feel?”
Her eyes drilled into his, willing him to understand.
“You wish you never came to the temple, never wielded your magic? Never known the gods?”
“No!” She said exasperated. “Stop twisting my words! It is not that Haldor, and you know it! It is everything else. Something is wrong about the temple, Haldor. The blood rituals, the punishments of the innocent, the cruelty - don’t you see it?”
His eyes dragged over her, as if seeing her for the first time, and his expression hardened.
“All I see is a rebellious spirit.” He said. “Did you really think this path would be easy?” Looming over her, his eyes bored into hers, his hands gripping into her arms to steady her. “The gods demand sacrifice, Sylvie. They have shown us this is the way. We must accept it - accept the path we’ve been given. Stop wanting more - stop wanting what you cannot have.”
Sylvie met his intensity with her own, her frustration boiling over. “What is the purpose of being human if we’re not allowed to feel, to dream? To not choose our own fate?” she demanded, her voice rising as she took a step closer. “Why are we given hopes, emotions, desires - if we’re never allowed to see them fulfilled? Why should it be wrong for me to want more?” She shook her head, defeated. “I’m tired, Haldor. Tired of pretending I don’t feel like I’m suffocating every single day. I’m tired of pretending I don’t hate myself for failing to be the perfect servant they want - when I never will be.”
Haldor’s gaze flickered. “You’re lost in your feelings, Sylvie. You can’t let them consume you. The temple...it can guide you to peace if you just listen. You can prove yourself to the gods, prove your worth.”