Page 28 of Interview With a Porn Star

I looked up and smiled. “You did a terrific job,” I said, meaning it. “I really am impressed. This is going to add a wonderful extra dimension to the scene.”

Connie was taken completely off balance by the compliment and my sincerity. All the tension and haughtiness spilled from her and suddenly she became like a little girl, with a blush of pleased and shy color washing over her cheeks.

“I’m glad,” she said softly. “It’s not the kind of job I would ever like to do for a living.”

“Really?”

Connie nodded. “Too much pressure,” she said. “I was conscious every moment that I couldn’t afford to shake or move or even blink for fear of missing some scene that might be important to you.”

“It’s a long way from journalism, I suppose,” my lips wrapped around a gentle grin.

Connie nodded. “With journalism, I get to write and then rewrite, and then send it off to an editor who polishes my words and makes me look better than I really am. Nothing spontaneous happens in journalism. Everything I produce has the benefit of deliberation.”

Lily went skipping passed on the hot pavers, splashing and dripping water. She reached the edge of the pool and dived in, her entry into the water far from elegant. The pool erupted and then she emerged in a froth of bubbles, gasping and giggling.

“Come on in,” Lily cried, waving frantically at me to get my attention. “The water is beautiful.”

I didn’t believe her. As she bounced around in the pool, her nipples looked so hard they might snap off and her arms and shoulders were covered in a rash of goose bumps.

I had been in that pool just yesterday. I knew damn well the water wasn’t beautiful. It wasn’t warm. It wasn’t even cool. It was fucking freezing.

I waved back to Lily. “I’m busy,” I said.

Lily would not be deterred. “What about you, journalist lady?”

Connie’s expression turned to stone. “I don’t have a swimsuit,” she said flatly.

The young girl shrugged her shoulders. “So what? I’m nude.”

Connie looked wearily at me. “Really?” she raised an eyebrow.

I shrugged. “It’s the idiotic enthusiasm of youth,” I lamented like an old man. “Ignore her.”

Lily splashed about for a few more seconds and then swum off towards the far end of the pool to annoy the cameramen. I turned back to Connie.

“Do you have any questions that you want to ask me for your article while we’re on a break?”

Connie looked like I had surprised her. “Um… how long is the break before you start filming again?”

I looked up at the sun. “We probably have about an hour,” I estimated. “I want to shoot the next scene outdoors.”

Connie leaned forward. “Another pool scene?”

I shook my head. “There is a garden just over there,” I gestured with my head beyond the high fence that surrounded the pool area. “It’s isolated from view. The whole area has been landscaped. I thought it would make a great location.”

“And you’re waiting for what?” she asked.

“The sun,” I said. “I have this thing about shadows when I shoot outdoor scenes. The last thing I want is the shadows of my camera guys falling over the actresses as they perform.” I shrugged. “When the sun is a little lower we will start filming.”

Connie didn’t say anything, but I got the sense that some secret little part of her was mildly impressed. Maybe she was starting to believe that, to me, my films were more than just graphic sex.

Connie stared off into the distance for a long moment like she was looking for something. “Have you ever thought about retiring from the industry, Rick?”

“At least once a week,” I smiled – but I wasn’t really joking. “I am not enjoying the performing side of my work anymore,” I admitted. “Not like I used to.”

“Is that because you’re thirty? Is that old for a male actor in porn?”

I shook my head. “There are lots of male actors who are just hitting their stride at my age,” I said. “The porn industry is a lot more forgiving with male actors than it is with the girls. Because a guy’s physical appearance is secondary to a scene, no one really cares too much about how he looks. As I’ve said before – it’s all about the girls. Most of them get out of the industry before they turn thirty. They do their films, they make some money, and they get out before they burn out.”

“So if it’s not your age, then why aren’t you enjoying it anymore?”

I shrugged my shoulders heavily. “I think I’m just jaded,” I said. “I’ve made hundreds of films, and slept with maybe a thousand women. Maybe more. The truth is that everything about performing that was so special and such a turn-on has lost its luster.”

Connie watched me carefully. “Would you stay in the porn industry if you retired from performing?”

“Sure,” I said. “I love the directing, and I like working with the actors and actresses. They are all good people. And I like producing films and all the behind the scenes logistics that goes into creating DVDs and downloads.” I stabbed a finger into the air. “And don’t forget,” I said lastly, “I have a considerable investment in technology and property back in France. Money I have sunk into the farm is for the future.”

“Do you think you really could give up performing? How would you go, suddenly not having sex so many times with so many women?”

“I honestly don’t know,” I confessed. “Maybe after a couple of years I would get bored and come out of retirement, like a pro footballer who doesn’t know the right time to walk away. Maybe I would have trouble adjusting to a monogamous kind of lifestyle. I guess I won’t know for sure until the day I decide.”

We left it there. Connie disappeared inside the house, and I figured she was going to make notes. I gathered the cast and crew around me and they followed me single file beyond the pool area and into the gardens.

“We’re going to shoot here,” I announced. “I want everyone ready in thirty minutes. Lily,” I singled the young girl out. “Do you want to do this scene with me?”

Lily nodded her head and I thought it might fall off her shoulders. “Rick, that would be fab!” she gushed.

“Fine,” I said. “We’ll do the scene with you and Becky together. Yvette,” I turned to the sexy young girl standing beside me, “you can take the afternoon off.”

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