Page 24 of Bratva Daddies for the Single Mom

I hugged a pillow to my stomach, the threadbare center allowing stuffing to poke out. I tucked it back in and tried to cover the hole with a bit of fringe from the flower design. “What if they are part of the Bratva? Or, even worse, what if they’re running it?” I couldn’t get the possibility out of my head. “They’re dangerous. Criminals.” I pinched my eyes shut and took a steadying breath. “They might protect me now, but what happens when I outlive my usefulness?” What started as a chill tracking down my spine turned into a shudder that rattled my teeth.

Tina hugged a matching pillow, her black nails running back and forth across the red flower stitched across the center. Flecks of red peeled off with each pass and fluttered to her lap in a macabre rendition of blood dripping from a wound. “Good point.”

I might’ve failed my daughters in a lot of ways through the years, but I was determined not to let this be another mistake.

“I heard the Bratva run the auction, so if they were there…” Tina shrugged. “It could be a connection.”

“And their names. Viktor, Ilya, and Fyodor. You have to admit they sound Russian.” Not to mention their accents. Most of the time, they covered their accents. The few times I’d heard the richness of it coming through, I’d recognized the Russian harshness from a few other clients I worked with. I should have put everything together that first night. I’d either ignored the warnings or been so wrapped up in my pleasure that I made it all okay in my head. I couldn’t afford to do that anymore.

Safety for my girls was my priority. The clock behind Tina dinged the half hour mark. I leaped to my feet and grabbed my keys. “Time to get the girls.” My skirt dug into my hip, reminding me that I’d lost my underwear earlier. A flush heated my cheeks. “I need to change.” Tina didn’t answer as I bolted to my room and tugged on my favorite boot-cut jeans with the ripped knee, a holey T-shirt with the logo from my favorite coffee shop, and comfortable sneakers.

Tina waited for me in the living room. She twirled her hair around her finger until the tip turned as blue as her hair. “I’ll go with you. We’ll make it a surprise.” Tina followed me to the car, the two of us so wrapped up in our own thoughts that we made the entire drive in silence.

My girls, Hannah and Hailey, ran outside the minute we pulled into the drive leading up to the elementary school. They skidded to a stop beside the bench where all the kids in their kindergarten class lined up and waited for parents to pull up to the line. Hailey jumped up and down, her backpack slapping her spine and her pigtails flying. She pointed and shouted, then waved.

Hannah joined Hailey in waving, her approach more subdued than her excited twin sister. At five years old and identical, most people struggled to tell them apart at first. Their personalities were complete opposites, however. Hannah’s wide smile lit up her small face, her joy glittering in eyes as green as mine. They were dark-haired like their father, but their complexions and eye color were all me.

Hailey grabbed Hannah’s hand and dragged her toward the yellow line at the sidewalk. Their teacher stood alongside them, wiggling her fingers at me in greeting. She opened the passenger door for the girls and helped them sling their backpacks inside. “They had a great day today.”

“Good.” The door closed and I inched back out onto the street. “What do you think about having a game night?”

Tina arched a brow and rubbed her palms together. “I’ll make chicken parm.”

“Yay.” Both girls screamed together, and just like that, I’d unleashed the floodgates on their mouths. They talked all the way home, telling us about school—they had a new boy in class who ate his boogers—and the class project their teacher had them working on to help them learn about colors. “Can we play Candy Land?” Hannah kicked her feet back and forth, her toes digging into the back of my seat. “And eat popcorn?”

“And watch movies?” Hailey added.

“Yes.” I nodded emphatically. “All of that. We’ll do everything.” Why not? The girls deserved a treat, and I needed the company, the security, of spending time with them without any kind of stress.

“I’m so glad I’m off work tonight.” Tina flipped her blue hair over her head and shook it over her eyes as I stopped in the driveway and unbuckled my seatbelt. “I’m about to be the biggest, baddest monster in Candy Land.”

Hannah and Hailey giggled, covering their mouths with both hands and leaning into each other. “You’re funny, Aunt Tina.” Hannah recovered first. “There are not any monsters in Candy Land.”

She sounded so serious, so grown up for five, that I fought down a rush of grief. Had our lifestyle aged them? Had it taken their childhood away from them and turned them resistant to the frivolities of youth?

Tina moved ahead of us to open the door, and I took the additional time to help the girls carry their backpacks. Hailey stopped halfway up the cracked walkway and nudged her toe against her broken tricycle. “I miss riding my bike.”

Hannah’s shoulders slumped. “You can use mine. I don’t ride much.”

She didn’t ride because she felt guilty about Hailey not being able to join her.

A hot breath escaped my lips. Despite the warm sun raining down on us, a coldness threatened to consume me. They depended on me, and I’d failed them in so many ways. Not this one. “Why don’t I take you both bike shopping next weekend?” I could afford to use some of the auction money to buy them new bikes. I’d made sure not to waste any of it, and I needed to be careful considering the additional expenses coming my way, but this was a necessary moment in their development. Yes, they needed to learn to work through disappointment. But that didn’t mean I withheld small gifts when I had the ability to provide them.

More cheers were followed by arms wrapping tight around my stomach as both girls hugged me with all their might.

I returned the embrace before leading them into the apartment complex and down the hall to our small apartment. “All right. Shoes in the rack, backpacks in the cubbies, then you can change into your most favorite comfy clothes while I get the games out.”

Tina took off into the kitchen, muttering the recipe for chicken parmesan under her breath. “Play a few games without me.” She waved off my offer to wait for her with a smile and her assurances that I should use this time alone with the girls.

The games I’d managed to accumulate over the years as Christmas and birthday presents were tucked away in a warped bookcase, along with a few movies, three photos of me and the girls, and my certificate from massage therapy training. I found Candy Land and worked it free. The box held up the shelf above it, forcing me to find another similar sized object to brace the shelf before it toppled and dumped all the pictures onto thefloor. Shame threatened to consume me. I should be able to do better for my children.

Hailey made it back to the living room first. She dropped onto her backside and scooted her legs beneath the coffee table, resting her chin on the edge. “Can we play a movie while we play a game?” Her gaze darted from me to the TV in the corner, then to the game board I’d been setting up.

“You pick the first movie, then Hannah can pick the next one.” With every second that passed, the tension I’d gathered up and held all day melted away. I’d known I needed time with my girls, but I’d not realized how much until the last knot unfurled in my stomach as the three of us sat around the coffee table, laughing and munching on popcorn that Tina brought us.

I almost told the girls to wait, that they’d ruin their dinner with the salty snack. I stopped in the nick of time and shoved a handful of popcorn into my mouth. They’d eat if they were hungry, and the joys of youthful abandon were a necessary part of growing up.

I’d done my best since the day I found out I was pregnant with them. A flutter of unease rippled through me. What about this baby? Was I doing my best for them too? I’d attracted the attention of three powerful men, men who might be part of an organization that committed crimes and hurt people. The bite of popcorn turned ashy in my mouth, the kernels sticking in my throat. I’d kept my pregnancy a secret so far, but if I kept seeing them, even to fulfill my role as their masseuse, they’d figure it out. Then what?

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