Page 25 of Saving the Space Pirate

I wanted to live happily fucking ever after. I didn’t want to die.

There had to be a way.

We needed help.

An idea came to me. It wasn’t a good idea, but it was the only one. I was pretty sure it wouldn’t get me my happily ever after, but it might save Ruby and her mission. That would have to be enough.

“We need help,” I said.

“And who the fuck is going to help us?”

“We’re going to ask the good guys.”

“Fuck, man, they’ll shoot us out of the sky before they’ll even talk to us.”

“Probably, but we have to try.”

…

Ruby

Yesterday, I’d wondered if dying would hurt. Now I had my answer.

Yup.

And how did I know that? Because Princess Zurian had told me so as they tied me to a stake, in the middle of a courtyard, in the middle of the palace.

Then she’d left me there, no doubt to contemplate my sins.

This was it.

But honestly, never mind dying—right now,everythinghurt. She was really just doing the humane thing and putting me out of my misery. Except she wasn’t human.

I wasn’t alone. Tied to a stake next to me was Rekowski. He’d been unconscious when they dragged him out. For his sake, I hoped he’d stay that way.

They were going to burn us. But in a nice, un-messy, sophisticated manner. Apparently, the stakes were metal, and they’d heat up super-hot and burn us to a crisp—just not very fast.

And I really wished I could stop thinking about that.

The sky was beginning to light up, and dawn was close, when a groan broke the silence beside me. Rekowski was awake.

I twisted my head to look at him and saw his eyes were open, gleaming green in the dim light. His face was a mass of bruises and his eyes were almost swollen shut.

“Ruby, I’d like to say it’s good to see you, but I really wish you weren’t here right now.”

“Me, too.”

“I did warn you not to take the fucking job. Bloody women. Never listen.”

I shrugged, or it would have been a shrug if I hadn’t been tied to a post. “You might try honing your persuasive skills next time.” I gave him the best smile I could manage. “Oh, I forgot, there won’t be a next time.”

“Where’s your boyfriend? Not joining us?”

“Obviously not.” And I really hoped that was because Zak had got him away to safety and they were now on their way to Earth.

We were silent for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“It’s not your fault. Though you might want to rethink your amazingly bad taste in women.”

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