Page 81 of Let It Be Me

“Jesus,” I say a few times when it’s over. I can barely see. I steady one hand on her shoulder and sink to the floor next to her, then tip my head back and breathe.

Ruby kisses my shoulder and nuzzles against me. “No, my name’s Ruby.”

I smile behind closed eyes. “Right now I think you’re the second coming of?—”

“Hush.” She chuckles. “Gina wouldn’t approve.”

“I promise to keep Jesus out of this if you keep Gina out of it.”

She strokes a finger along my jaw. “Deal.”

Life is perfect for a few minutes as we sit there in silence. The air-conditioning vent is blowing against my bad shoulder, and Ruby’s warm body is pressed against the other, her hair spilling down my chest.

“Lorenzo?”

Her voice wakes me out of near sleep. “Yeah?”

“Tell me what you need now.”

I’m surprised by how quickly despair surfaces again. I take her hand and hold it between mine.

“Did something happen?”

“I saw Ant.”

She hesitates. “Did he not look good?”

“He looked the same. But we got into it.”

Her silence urges me on.

“He admitted it; he blames me for what happened.”

“Nothing about that is shocking, Lorenzo.”

“Then why did it knock me on my ass?” I look at her.

“Because it’s still not what you wanted to hear?”

“I asked for it. And he’s not wrong.”

“Just because you both agree that it’s your fault doesn’t mean you’re both right.”

I lay her hand flat on my chest and cover it with mine.

“How did you leave it?”

“Shitty.” I smile bitterly. “He told me to stop worrying about it.”

“Sounds like Anthony.”

“There’s nothing I can do to make it up. I thought if he said it straight to my face, it would help, but now I just feel like a garbage human. Everything he said is right. I do have the life. Look at me.”

“Know what? I think you’re already doing what you can do for him.”

“What’s that, nothing?”

“You’re taking the blame so he doesn’t have to.”

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