Page 2 of The Grump's Assistant

I arrive at The Mad Batter just after six-thirty. The vibe in here is eclectic and fun, with a checkered floor, a few cuckoo clocks, an assortment of teacups, and mismatched tables and chairs. It’s a more refined version of Alice in Wonderland, and I love it.

“I’ve got another early bird this morning!” the woman behind the counter says by way of greeting. She’s absolutely gorgeous with midnight black hair and wide hazel eyes. “Oh, I don’t recognize you.” A warm, genuine smile spreads across her face. “Welcome to The Mad Batter, I’m the owner, Sienna.”

“I’m—”

“Juniper?” another voice sounds from behind me.

I turn to see a leggy blonde in booty shorts and a tight tank top. She’s adorned with huge designer sunglasses, bright red lips, and what appear to be real diamond studs in her ears.

“That’s me. Are you Jennifer?”

The woman nods.

“Aw, Juniper and Jennifer! I love it,” Sienna says from behind the counter. I notice she has a gorgeous sleeve of tattoos. I wish I were brave enough to get beautiful ink like hers. “What can I get you ladies this morning?”

Jennifer steps right up to the counter and orders some over-the-top coffee beverage with more modifiers than I even knew existed. I palm the tip money I got from my shift, not liking the idea of using it on an expensive beverage or bakery item. I’m sure they are worth every penny, but I don’t have a lot of pennies to spare these days.

“And for you?” Sienna asks.

I look down at the bills in my hand, and then peruse the menu, looking for the cheapest thing. “I’ll have a small mug of black coffee.”

Sienna lifts an eyebrow, as if she knows I really want every single item in the bakery case, but she doesn’t say anything as she turns to get my drink.

“First cup is on the house,” Sienna says, sliding the mug across the counter.

“What? No, I can pay,” I insist.

“Nope,” Sienna retorts with a smile. “Oh! I almost forgot. First timers get a free pastry with their coffee.” I’m about to protest, but Sienna cuts me off. “Either you pick which one you want or I’ll pick for you.”

I narrow my eyes at her, but then grin. “The strawberries and cream scone sounds amazing,” I reply. Sienna nods approvingly. “Thank you so much. I’ll leave a tip,” I say as I reach into my pocket for cash.

“No tips since I’m the owner. If you come back and see one of the other workers, then we definitely encourage tipping. Unless it’s a tall guy with brown hair and a mischievous smile. He’s my husband, and he’s not hurting for money.”

“Talking about me again, kitten?” The deep voice comes from somewhere back in the kitchen. It has an undertone of laughter to it, making Sienna roll her eyes and grin.

“Mostly good things, I promise!” she shouts back.

I chuckle and thank her again before sitting down at the table Jennifer selected. The phone I’m purchasing is lying on the table, along with the charger. She’s typing away on a different phone, one studded with rhinestones.

“So, we good? One hundred is what Taylor told Scott, who told me.” She barely looks up from her screen as she talks to me.

“Yes, one hundred for the phone. And, um, are you able to keep me on your plan until the end of the month?” I hate asking, but that was a huge draw for me. Other than the cheap iPhone, of course.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you want. No big deal. I just need to get away from it all, you know?” Jennifer says dramatically. “Daddy won’t pay for my spring break since I skipped out on a job he lined up for me. But, like, what did he expect? I can’t work in anoffice.” The look of disgust twisting up her face is almost comical. “I just need to find something I’m passionate about. Or someone.” Jennifer giggles. “Hence spring break. This right here,” she says, holding up the phone she’s selling, “is gas money for the week.” She puffs out her chest as if she’s very proud of her scheming ways. I won’t ruin it for her, or myself, by telling her she could probably sell it for three times the amount I’m about to pay.

“Well, thank you so much for?—”

Jennifer’s phone rings and she answers right away, holding her hand up to cut me off. “Hey, babe. Yeah, I’m just finishing up here. Be home soon!”

She stands up, swiping the cash from my hand in one fluid motion. Adjusting her sunglasses, Jennifer blows me a kiss and sashays out of the bakery. I look over my shoulder at the woman behind the counter, who looks about as impressed with Miss Thang as I am. Sienna winks at me and I smile back. If I get the day shift at work and make better tips, I’ll have to come here more often.

I finish up my drink and thank Sienna again before heading back out into the chaotic New York morning. The exchange with Jennifer took all of ten minutes, and while she was rude, I’m thankful it didn’t drag on and on. I’m exhausted, my feet throb, my bones ache, and I feel like I’m eighty, not twenty-two.

I make it to the nearest bus stop and pull out my new phone, pleasantly surprised that it has a full battery. Jennifer didn’t give me much time to inspect the phone, but everything appears to be working just fine. I Google the bus schedule, sighing with relief to see the next one heading back to my neighborhood comes in just a few minutes.

I’m about to shove the phone back in my bag when it rings. Startled, I hit the answer button without thinking. I just wanted it to stop making noise.

“Hel—”

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