That's the question that's been eating at me for months. What happens to us? What happens to the life we've built together?
"I don't know," I say again, and I hate how helpless I sound.
She nods, like she expected that answer. "I need time," she says. "I need time to think, to process all of this. I'm going to Allison's."
"Okay." It's not okay, but what choice do I have?
“Are you going to trust me?” She asks. “I could run to town and blow not only your cover, but Dime’s. Aren’t you scared?”
“I trust you,” I say, my voice barely a whisper.
Hurt blooms in her eyes. I trust her, but there’s no way she’s going to trust me for a long, long time. She starts to walk past me, toward the stairs, but I can't let her go without trying one more time.
"Dani." My voice stops her at the bottom of the stairs. "Is there a chance? For us, I mean. Is there any chance we can make this work?"
She turns to look at me, and for a moment, I see the woman who fell in love with me three years ago. The woman who said yes when I asked her to marry me. The woman who's been my everything.
But then the moment passes, and she's back to being the woman whose trust I've shattered beyond repair.
"I don't know, Devil," she says, and the use of my club name instead of my real name feels like a small victory. "I honestly don't know."
Chapter 24
Dani
I love him. More than anything, I love Devil, or Derrick. Whoever the fuck he really is, but I can't deny I'm devastated. As I left the house, rain started, and it's gotten harder the further I get from him.
The rain pounds against my windshield as I drive through the darkened streets, my hands gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles are white. Every breath feels like it's being ripped from my chest, and I can't stop the tears from streaming down my face. Two years. Two goddamn years of marriage, and I never knew who I was really sleeping next to.
My phone buzzes with another text from him, but I can't look at it. Not yet. Not when I'm this raw, this fucking broken. The betrayal cuts deeper than any knife could, slicing through every moment we've shared, every whispered promise, every time he held me after a nightmare and told me he'd never let anything happen to me. How can love and lies coexist so perfectly?
I pull into Allison's driveway, my best friend, the one person who's never judged me for falling for a biker, for choosing the life my mom tried to push me away from. Her porch light is on, and I can see her silhouette in the window. She must have been waiting up for me after my frantic call.
The front door opens before I even reach it, and Allison's arms are around me before I can say a word. I collapse against her, my body shaking with sobs that I've been holding back for hours.
"Shh, sweet friend, I've got you," she murmurs, stroking my hair like she used to when we were teenagers and the world felt like it was ending. "Come inside. Tell me what happened."
Her living room is warm and inviting, filled with the scent of vanilla candles and the soft glow of lamps. Since she got divorced and moved out on her own, she likes to have plenty of light. Always says what's done in the dark eventually comes to light. She guides me to her oversized couch, wrapping a throw blanket around my shoulders before settling beside me with a box of tissues.
"He's a cop," I whisper, the words feeling foreign on my tongue. "Devil, my husband, the president of the Saint's Outlaws MC, is a motherfucking undercover police officer."
Allison's face goes pale, her hand flying to her mouth. "Oh my God, Dani. Are you sure?"
I nod, wiping my nose with a tissue. "I saw the badge. The gun. The undercover assignment with his real name – Derrick David. Everything I thought I knew about him, about us, it's all been a lie."
"How did you find out?"
The memory hits me like a physical blow. "I went by the greenhouse. I don't know when or how, but someone had left a manila envelope inside. When I opened the door, it was right there. I picked it up and started going through it." I run a hand through my hair. "But honestly? I'm not as surprised as I should be. Maybe some part of me always knew something was off."
Allison reaches for my hand, squeezing it gently. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know!" The words come out as a wail, and I bury my face in my hands. "How do you process something like this? The man I married, the man I've shared my bed with for two years as husband and wife, doesn't even exist. Every time he came home late, every time he said he was handling club business, every time he held me and promised he'd never hurt me – it was all part of some elaborate cover story." I wipe at my nose. "How do I believe anything he's ever said to me?"
"But did he hurt you?" Allison asks quietly. "I mean, I know this is devastating, but the way he treated you, the way he loved you – was that fake too?"
I lift my head, considering her question. That's the part that's tearing me apart the most. "That's just it – I don't think it was fake. When he looks at me, when he touches me, when he whispers my name in the dark... God, Allison, I don't think he was acting. But how can I trust my own judgment when I've been so wrong about everything else? How do I know?"
"Tell me what he said when you confronted him."