Page 52 of Devil's Damnation
The way she spits out my real name like it's poison makes my heart clench. I run a hand through my hair, trying to think, trying to figure out how to salvage this. But there's no coming back from this, is there?
"How?" The word comes out as barely a whisper.
"Does it matter?" She crosses her arms over her chest, and I can see she's trying to hold herself together. "This..." she dumps her purse out on the ground. "Was given to me."
There are papers, pictures, my old fucking badge, and a copy of my real license.
"Dani…"
"Who else knows?" she asks again, and this time there's steel in her voice despite the tears. "Who else in the club knows you're a lying piece of shit?"
The words cut deep, but I deserve them. I deserve every bit of her anger, her hurt, her rage.
"Dime," I say quietly. "Dime knows."
She lets out a bitter laugh. "Of course he does. Let me guess. He's a cop too?"
I don't answer, but my silence is answer enough.
"Jesus Christ," she breathes, sinking into the nearest chair. "How long? How long have you been lying to me?"
"The entire time," I admit, and the weight of those words feels like it might crush me. "I've been undercover since the first day I met you."
"The entire time?" She repeats it like she can't quite believe it. "We've been married for two years, Devil. Two years. Was any of it real? Did you marry me because you loved me, or because it was convenient for your case?"
The accusation hits me like a physical blow. I take a step toward her, needing her to understand, needing her to see the truth.
"Don't," I say, my voice rough. "Don't you dare question that. Everything between us is real, Dani. Everything."
"Is it? I have a right to question it all." She stands up, her eyes blazing with a mixture of hurt and fury. "Because I don't even know who you are anymore. Have you been playing a role this entire time? Is Devil even real, or is he just another lie?"
"He's real," I say desperately. "I'm real. What we have is real."
"What we have is built on lies!" she shouts, and I've never seen her this angry before. "You've been lying to me every single day since you met me. Every time you said you loved me, every time you held me, every time you made love to me—were you thinking about your case? About how you were using me?"
"No." The word comes out harsh, final. "Never. Not once."
"How am I supposed to believe that? How am I supposed to believe anything you say?"
I want to reach for her, want to pull her into my arms and make her understand, but I can see she's barely holding on by a thread. One wrong move and she'll shatter completely.
"Because you know me," I say quietly. "You know my heart, Dani. You know how I look at you, how I touch you. You know that what we have isn't something that can be faked."
"Do I?" Her voice breaks. "Because I thought I knew you, and it turns out I don't know you at all. I don't even know your real name."
"My name is Derrick David," I say, and it feels strange saying it out loud after so long. "But I've been Devil for so long now that sometimes I forget which one is real."
She stares at me, and I can see her trying to process everything. "What does that mean?"
I sink into the chair across from her, suddenly feeling exhausted. "It means the line has gotten blurry, baby. The line between cop and club president has gotten so goddamn blurry that I don't know where one ends and the other begins anymore."
"You're the president of an outlaw motorcycle club," she says slowly. "And you're a cop. How does that even work?"
"It doesn't," I admit. "Not anymore. When I started this assignment, it was simple. Go undercover, gather intel, bring down the club. I fell in love with you, first, which I wasn't supposed to do. Then I got in deeper, and deeper, and before I knew it, I wasn't just playing a role anymore. I was living it."
"What are you saying?"
I look into her eyes, those beautiful green eyes that have been my anchor since we met, and I tell her the truth. "I'm saying I don't know if I want to be a cop anymore. I'm saying the club has become my family, and you've become my everything, and the thought of losing all of this to go back to being Officer David makes me sick."
