"Devil," I start, then stop. I almost ask him about it, almost voice the question that's been eating at me for weeks. But I can't. Not yet. Not when I'm not sure I'm ready for the answer.
"What is it?" he asks, sensing my hesitation.
I take a shaky breath, pushing down the fear. Whatever the truth is, whatever secrets he might be keeping, I know one thing for sure. Regardless of anything…
"I love you too," I whisper against his chest. "So much."
His arms tighten around me, and I feel him press another kiss to my hair.
"Then that's all that matters," he whispers, voice deep and rough. "Everything else, we'll figure out together. Your parents that you’re refusing to see while your face is like this. The guilt you’re feeling about Allison and Dime, because she’s pulled away from him. I want you to know that no one is blaming you for anything, and it’s okay that you don’t have all the answers. We all love you. We’ll figure this out, I promise.”
I nod, even though I'm not sure I believe it. There are still so many questions, so many things left unsaid between us. But for now, in the safety of his arms, I let myself believe that love might be enough.
The nightmare seems like a distant memory now, replaced by the steady comfort of Devil's presence. His breathing evens out gradually, and I know he's falling back asleep. But I stay awake, listening to his heartbeat, memorizing the feel of his arms around me.
Tomorrow, I'll have to face the daylight again. I’ll have to deal with the questions and the doubts and the complicated reality of our situation. But tonight, I'm content to just be here with him, holding onto this moment of peace in the storm that has become our lives.
I close my eyes and let myself drift, wrapped in the warmth of his love and the promise that whatever comes next, we'll face it together.
Chapter 17
Devil
"We need to do something to bring the club back together," I tell Dime as we sit at the garage the next day. "Maybe have a cookout? Morris," I mention Dani's Dad, "said something about needing a reason to see her. You know how she is. She's burrowing into herself."
"Yeah, Allison's worried about her," Dime says as he takes a drag off his cigarette. "She's been asking me if I've talked to. you, because I guess Dani isn't really speaking to her, either."
It breaks my heart to know that my wife is having such a difficult time.
The wrench in my hand feels heavier than it should as I lean against the Harley I've been working on. Three weeks. Three goddamn weeks since those bastards took her, and Dani still jumps at shadows. She barely leaves our bedroom some days, and when she does, she's got this haunted look in her eyes that makes my chest tighten.
"A cookout sounds good," Dime continues, stubbing out his smoke on the concrete floor. "Get everyone together, make it feel normal again. You know Thunder's been asking about her, and Bull's been walking around like a kicked dog since it happened."
I nod, understanding what he means. The whole club's been on edge since the kidnapping. We all blame ourselves for not protecting her better, even though we got her back safe. Well, mostly safe. The physical wounds are healing, but the ones we can't see are taking their sweet time.
"Saturday then," I decide, setting down the wrench. "I'll call Morris, see if he can get through to her about coming. Maybe if we frame it right, she'll think she's doing us a favor by showing up."
Dime grins, that knowing look he gets when he's figured something out. "Smart man. Appeal to that nurturing side of hers. She can't resist taking care of people."
That's my Dani, always putting everyone else first. Even now, when she's the one who needs taking care of, she'd probably drag herself out here if she thought the club needed her.
By Friday night, word's spread through the clubhouse. Thunder's picked up enough beer to float a small boat, and Bull's been prepping the grills like we're feeding half of Alabama. Storm's even offered to handle the music, which means we'll probably get a mix of rock and whatever country station he's been stuck on lately.
Saturday morning comes bright and clear, one of those perfect early August days where the humidity is lower than normal and there's still a breeze cutting through the heat. I find Dani in the kitchen, staring into her coffee cup like it holds the secrets of the universe.
"Morning, beautiful," I say, sliding my arms around her waist from behind. She's wearing one of my old t-shirts and a pair of cutoff shorts, her dark hair falling in waves down her back. Even after everything, even with the shadows under her eyes, she's the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen.
She leans back against my chest, and I feel some of the tension leave her shoulders. "Morning. I smell bacon drifting up from the clubhouse."
"Bull's already got the grills going. Your dad's coming by around noon, and Allison should be here soon." I press a kiss to the top of her head, breathing in the vanilla scent of her shampoo. "You don't have to do anything today except relax, okay? Let us take care of you for once."
She turns in my arms, and for a moment, I catch a glimpse of the old Dani in her eyes – the one who used to light up a room just by walking into it. "I love you, you know that?"
"I love you too, baby. More than you'll ever know."
The sound of Allison's car pulling up saves me from getting too sentimental. Dani's face actually brightens when she hears her best friend's voice calling out from the front yard, and I send up a silent prayer of thanks. Maybe this was exactly what she needed.
"Dani! Get your ass out here and help me take this stuff to the clubhouse."