Page 8 of Secrets of the Eternal Flame

‘No doubt they thought they’d have more time,’ Adele said. ‘They didn’t expect to pass the burden to you when you were so young. Iris must have been fearful of what it would take from you.’

‘What do you mean?’ Maddie frowned. ‘What it wouldtake?’

‘The bond varies for all of the Guardians, but one of the most important aspects is that the Flame will choose which part of your soul it wishes to take.’

My soul. Which part of it would I willingly give up? The part that remembered my childhood, the part that inherently knew right from wrong, the part that enjoyed music and dancing?

‘Which part of your soul?’ Unknowingly, Maddie echoed my thoughts. ‘What does that evenmean? What parts of the soul are there?’

Adele smiled. ‘There are more parts to a soul than there are stars in the sky. But you will never truly know the parts of yours until a part of it is taken from you.’

I struggled to kick my brain into PI mode. This was just another mystery to solve, and I needed to think analytically, not emotionally. But it was easier said than done.

Adele continued. ‘I have heard of ancestors who’ve had a tide of regret taken from them by the Flame, those who have lost the burden of a broken heart.’ She paused. ‘But I have also known those who have had the spirit of curiosity taken away, or the love they felt for those closest to them.’

That was horrible: I didn’t want to contemplate losing my love of Ezra, Maddie or Yanni. I deliberately didn’t add Fraser’s name to the list because surely I couldn’t possibly love him yet?

‘What happens to the part of the soul it takes?’ I asked. ‘Does the Flame look after it for a time, or is it destroyed by the Flame?’

‘Not destroyed by it butjoinedto it. Once the piece of the soul is joined with the Flame, it is forever a part of it.’She looked at me curiously. ‘What did you think the Flame was made of?’

‘Magic!’

‘Yes, it is – but it’ssoulmagic.’

My heart thudded. ‘Soul magic is what sorcerers use!’

‘Unwillingly taken souls, yes, but we use freely given souls. And not the whole soul, just a shaving of soul, a snip.’ She said it as if it were a recipe: a pinch of salt, a shaving of soul. Just a snip, as if it were a lock of hair you wouldn't miss. But we were talking about mysoul,my very essence.

I shook my head. What did it matter? ‘I won’t know what it takes until it takes it. Not that there’s even a Flame to take it now,’ I said bitterly.

This was a mindfuck. By not giving part of my soul to the Flame, I’d let a part of Mum’s soul die forever. What had it taken from her? Had it left Dad alone in the afterlife? The thought was horrific and I needed to focus on something else. Anything else. ‘If you don’t mind me asking,’ I started, ‘what did it take from you?’

Adele pressed her lips together tightly for a moment. ‘It is not something that I have ever told anybody,’ she said finally. ‘But I can see that you need to know.’ She took a deep breath. ‘It took my ambition.’

For asecond I saw the wisdom of someone double her age glimmer in her eyes and I shivered. How old was she really? She was more than a witch – but what? There was something familiar about the feel of her.

‘I once vowed to be the most powerful Guardian to have ever lived,’ she admitted ruefully. ‘I even had thoughts of combining your Flame and mine, but it tore my ambition from me. It took me a while to realise what it had taken and for a time I thought I’d been left unscathed. Then I met Iris, and I realised I didn’t care that she was more powerful than me. I didn’twantto take her Flame. I realised that the Flame had made a wise choice – and I suspect it always does. The love it took from one Guardian was love of the wrong sort, the love of someone abusive, which is no love at all.’ She looked at me levelly. ‘As a Guardian, we have no choice but to trust what it takes.’

Trust what it takes.Those were the last words my mother had spoken to me as she lay dying in my arms. My God; all this time, I’d thought she’d meant to trust what it takes to survive. A whole decade had passed during which I hadn’t understood her final words to me.

As I started to sob, Maddie gave up on the back-rubbing and wrapped her arms around me. ‘Bea?’ She didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I couldn’t tell her. I was struggling to breathe as regret swamped me.

There was a clattering from the top of the cavern. ‘Beatrix?’ Fraser shouted, audibly distressed.

‘You may enter,’ Adele called up to him. ‘If I had known of your bond, I wouldn’t have kept you apart.’

There was the sound of hurried feet and then I was passed from Maddie to Fraser. ‘Beatrix?’ he murmured. ‘I feel your hurt,mo chridhe. Let me in.’

‘My mum,’ I choked out. ‘I finally understand her last words.’

‘Ah. I’m sorry.’ He also knew what it was to lose a parent, and I had no doubt that the final words his mother had spoken to him were engraved on his memory.

I sobbed my heart out as the scent of the sea and comforting vanilla wrapped itself around me. Fraser crooned to me, saying words I didn’t understand in a language I didn’t speak, but it didn’t matter; I felt the comfort all the same.

I sobbed and sobbed, and he held me while I broke.

By the time I’d finished crying, I had a monstrous headache. I slowly pulled away from Fraser and wiped my cheeks. I started to move out of his arms but his arms tightened. ‘A moment longer,mo chridhe. Let me have you a moment longer.’ Something in his voice told me that the embrace wasn’t solely for my own benefit; I’d prodded his wounds with my words. I hugged him again fiercely.

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