Page 20 of Secrets of the Eternal Flame

No wonder she was feeling so overwhelmed. My heart ached for her. ‘Look,’ I said, ‘just because Yanni’s happy now she’s with Ernie, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t happy on her own. If anything, it’s amazing news for you.’

‘How so?’ Maddie wiped her eyes.

‘It shows that it doesn’t matter when– or if – love comes and finds you. Sure, Yanni was on her own but after all these years and all theheartbreak she’s been through, she didn’t close herself off to the idea of love. That’s incredible. Not that we’re using the L word yet, of course.’

She snorted, but I could see her resolve fading. ‘Maybe you’re right,’ she said slowly. ‘But after six weeks on the road with two completely loved-up couples, I felt like she was my last point of single solidarity.’

‘Fraser and I were definitely not loved-up,’ I reminded her. ‘We’re not even a couple.’

‘No, but you will be.’ She plastered a smile on her face that was very obviously forced and pointedly changed the subject. ‘So, what are you getting up to today? Are you seeing him?’

‘I might at some point,’ I admitted. Despite her woes, downplaying my own relationship wouldn’t help her. ‘I’m going to spend a bit of time in the house, just me and this damned invisible ember, see if I can make it accept that I’m worthy.’ I paused. ‘How about a girl’s night tonight?’

‘Oh my gosh, yes! That’s just what I need! How about we go to Shady’s?’

‘Sounds good. I’ll invite Nour.’ I pulled out my phone and shot off a quick text to see if Nour was free for a wine-based coven meeting at Shady’s later.

Maddie grinned. ‘Perfect. If you need me before then, I’ll be at the station – and to be honest, I’ll probably be grateful for any excuse to leave.’

I gave her a playful scowl. ‘No chance. You’re not using me as your reason to escape. Now go and have a great day working for your horny Nana.’

Maddie’s eyes flashed as she let out a groan.

‘Still too soon, huh?’ I asked.

‘Some days I really hate you.’

‘Yeah, but every day you love me, right?’

‘Yeah. Every day I love you.’ With that, Maddie left the house leaving me, Eva and the invisible ember.

Chapter Thirteen

‘So, how should we do this?’ I asked the empty fireplace, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. ‘I guess I talk and you listen, right? I suppose that’s the best way to do it – theonlyway. Because you’re a Flame and not even big enough for me to see.’ I let out a groan. I was rambling to my fireplace. Thank goodness I was alone.

Well, almost alone. Eva was sitting beside me, but she never judged me no matter how crazy things got. She had, however, brought both her grey bunny and Maddie’s cuddly duck and set them down so they faced me. There was nothing like being judged by a couple of soft toys to realise just how insane my life had become.

‘Is there any point in doing this?’ I asked, directing the question at Eva rather than the fireplace. At least I knewshecould hear me, which was more than I could say about the Flame or the ember or whatever the hell it was that was supposedly still in the hearth. I felt ridiculous, but ifsome cognizant part of the Eternal Flame could hear me, I needed to say my piece. I had to.

Taking a deep breath, I started again. ‘Sorry. This whole situation is a bit strange, but I’m trying to get used to it,’ I said, trying to start the one-sided conversation again. ‘I guess that if you’ve been in this house listening to everything that’s been going on, you already know a lot of what I’m going to say. But I’d like to explain things from my point of view, if that’s okay. And I’m sorry if I waffle but this is a little weird.’

I shook my head. This wasn’t the start I’d hoped for – but what exactly had I hoped for? Deep inside I knew the answer, even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I wanted a few quick words, the removal of a meagre, insignificant part of my soul, and the Flame back in the fireplace. Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be that simple.

‘I know why you’re not here,’ I said, my voice quieter now. ‘You disappeared because the next Guardian of the Flame – me – hadn’t bonded with you. I appreciate you holding on for ten years until you winked out like you did, but you have to understand why I ran away. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to be your Guardian, it was because when I lost my parents I got a little lost myself. And I didn’t know about the soul bonding thing.’

I stared at the fireplace, hoping for some small sign that I was talking to more than granite, but there was nothing. I took a deep breath and pushed on. ‘But I know now. I’m sure that running away makes you think I’m unreliable and flighty, the worst possible person for this role. Maybe I was then, but I’m not now. I have my own business – people rely on me, trust me to solve their problems. That’s a big responsibility and I can shoulder more.’

The lump in my throat was growing bigger with every word. ‘Your power, your magic – it’s been at the centre of everything I’ve done since I was born. And if what I believe is true and there is a part of my mother’s soul inside you, then this next bit is for her…’

A tear trickled down my cheek but I didn’t bother to wipe it away; it wouldn’t be the last. ‘Mum, I am so sorry that I failed you. You have to know that letting you and Dad down was the one thing I tried my hardest not to do, and that was damned hard considering I felt like a failure every day of my life.

‘I didn’t know that you’d bound my powers – and I’m not blaming you for that,’ I added hurriedly. ‘I’m just trying to make you understand. With you gone, it was too hard for me to stay here. Maybe if I’d felt that I deserved to be the Guardian, I could have put my own needs aside. I’d have gone through every book in that bloody libraryto fulfil my responsibilities, but I didn’t. I ran away and I let you down. But please ... if you and the Flame give me this chance, I swear I will prove every single day that I am worthy of being the Guardian. And I swear I will never leave again. You have my solemn vow.’

I stared at the fireplace, wishing with every fibre of my being that flames would suddenly sprout up from the hearth and fill the room with light and warmth the way they had all those years ago.

But there was nothing. If the Flame had heard me, it obviously hadn’t liked what I had to say.

I needed to get out of the house. I stood up and wiped the tears from my cheek. ‘Come on, Eva.’ I tapped my leg. ‘Why don’t we go for a walk?’

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