Page 77 of The Model

“She’s so soft, so perfect,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if I said it so quietly because I didn’t want to disturb her or because of the emotion clogging in my throat. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

“Hey, we already talked about this. It wasn’t anything we could control.” Her other hand reached up and brushed the wetness from my cheek. “You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

Leaning down, I pressed my lips to hers, showing her how much I loved her and how sorry I was. Then I moved to kiss the bruise on her cheek furthest from me. It was swollen and already a horrible dark purple. I only brushed my mouth across it, afraid to hurt her. It looked painful as hell, but I was sure she wasn’t feeling any pain with the meds they’d given her. Her eyes were glassy and tired.

Resting my forehead against her temple, I wanted to stay connected to Lexie. I’d missed her like crazy while I was in New York, and I wanted to be able to look at our daughter. It was still unbelievable that we created such a perfect person. I couldn’t wait for my mom’s reaction when she saw her. I’d called her when I was waiting to board my plane and explained everything to her. If it wasn’t for her, I would have been an even bigger mess as I waited. She said all the right things to get me to calm down, but the second the plane landed, all her words went right out the window, and chaos took over my every thought as I traveled from the airport to the hospital. My mom was waiting for the all-clear, and then she was going to come for a visit to see her first grandbaby. I told her to pass the news on to my dad since we still weren’t talking.

“Did you name her?”

“You act like you were gone for months. Of course, I didn’t name her. I was waiting for you.” She looked at me like I was crazy, with her eyes squinted. “What was your favorite on our list?”

I’d been MIA for so much of Lexie’s pregnancy, and then I wasn’t even there for the birth, I felt undeserving to name our baby. I already felt like the worst father in the world. “You should name her.”

My finger swept over my daughter’s tiny hand, and when she grasped it, it nearly brought me to my knees.

“She knows who you are, and she already loves you,” Lexie spoke quietly but assuredly as she brushed the hair from my forehead.

“I already love her too. How can she already mean so much to me when I’ve only known her for a few short minutes?”

“It’s a natural part of being a parent.”

“It’s unbelievable. I promise I will never let you or our daughter down again.” And we needed to give her a name. Stat.

“What can I say to make you believe you didn’t let us down?”

Nothing.

“Okay, going by your silence, that’s not an option right now. Do you want to hold and burp her?”

I wanted nothing more in that moment as Lexie slipped our baby into my arms. She was so light. I didn’t even know how much she weighed since I hadn’t been there. Putting her up to my shoulder, I kissed her soft little cheek and lightly patted her back.

“Let’s name her Kinsley.” The name popped into my head, and it felt right.

“Kinsley Williams has a good ring to it,” she mused.

“How much does she weigh? How long? I need to know everything.”

Lexie rested her head on my arm, one hand on my leg. “She was six pounds and eleven ounces at twenty-one inches long.”

“She’s going to be tall,” I stated as I continued to pat her.

“Probably. Look who her daddy is. She was born at four twenty-eight and came out crying.” She let out a shuttered breath. “I was so scared when I realized Ben was there. All I could do was keep him talking and hoped the cops would get there before he did something to jeopardize the baby. Time was running out, and when the cops arrived, he…he punched me in the face, and I went down. I went into labor almost immediately, and all I wanted was to find my phone and talk to you.”

“I should have been there.”

“If you had been there, I’m not sure what he would have done. He went crazy when he found out we were married. It doesn’t even make sense. We’d been broken up for over six months when I met you and at the end of our relationship…” She hugged my arm. “It wasn’t good. I don’t know why he was upset.”

When Kinsley burped, I got up and put her in the plastic bassinet that was in the room. She was out cold and didn’t even stir. Maybe I could handle this parenting gig better than I thought.

I started to sit in the chair by the bed, but Lexie wasn’t having any of that. She patted the bed beside her and lifted up the blanket. The bed was tiny, but I didn’t care. After the day she’d had, I’d half hang off of it to be by her side.

Slipping off my shoes, I climbed in beside her and let her rest her head on my shoulder. She could barely move after the caesarian, but my wife was a trooper as she snuggled into me.

Wrapping my arm around her, I held her tight. I could have lost her or Kinsley. The thought shot tremors through my body. I kissed the top of her head and rested my head against hers. “You asked why he was upset, and I think I know the answer. Even though your relationship wasn’t good in the end, I do believe Ben loved you. Then he got mixed up in drugs and couldn’t find his way out. You, Lexie Williams, are a hard woman to get over. I know I wasn’t going to give up on you when you all but threw my ass to the curb.”

“I’d never do that to you,” she answered softly. I could tell from the tight slur in her words she was close to falling asleep. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I ask myself that every day.” I breathed her in. I had missed everything about her while I was gone. “How do you smell like the beach while lying in a hospital bed?”

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