Page 63 of Hit For Six

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‘I loved what we got up to in the shower the other day but–’

‘Oh my God!’ Monty took his eyes off the road for a split second and Lola startled so hard that he snapped them straight back to the windscreen, holding himself worryingly rigid. ‘Did I do something I shouldn’t have? I’m so sorry already.’

Lola suddenly wished she hadn’t been so brazen. There were better times to blurt these things than when Monty was driving them to a party they were both pretending not to be nervous about.

‘No, it was perfect! It wasn’t you, it was me. I know that doesn’t sound very original, it’s just… I’m not exactly a fan of showers. The sensation of the dripping water makes my toes curl, I hate when it gets in my eyes, and I can’t control the temperature. I find the whole before and after of the event really distressing too. Not in terms of the stuff we did. Those bits were amazing.’ Lola closed her eyes and shook her head. Monty must think her so eccentric. ‘I’m just a boring old bed bonker.Although, strangely the billiard table and the chaise longue had their perks.’

Monty snort-laughed at this.

‘I promise I’m not making light of it but now you say this, I do recall the shower being on the list of potential SPD triggers when I read up on the condition after that fateful night when we kissed… in a certain cocktail bar. Lola, you couldn’t have made it clearer from the outset.’

‘I don’t follow.’

‘You’d been trying to tell me all along that you were more of a bubble bath girl.’

‘Oh, my god, yes!’

Lola started laughing too, suddenly twigging what Monty was hinting at when she thought of The Bubble Bath’s perfectly cosy name. She popped the penultimate Malteser in her mouth and let the blissful honeycomb fizz on her tongue. Why couldn’t every sensory experience be like this?

‘I have no problem with confining things to the bed. It’s underrated… and so much easier to flip you about on.’

Monty’s hand slid up Lola’s thigh and she squealed.

‘Eyes, road!’

‘Never mind the party food,’ Monty growled as he determined to prove he was a safe driver. ‘You’re the only thing I want to devour.’

Lola put her hand in the Malteser bag, pulled the last one out and put it in Monty’s mouth to shut him up.

‘Mmm, nawt a bard subshitoot.’

‘Quiet. I’ve got something else to tell you while I’m in confession mode, but you have to keep driving as if you’re in a lesson and I’m your instructor.’

‘Oh. Okay. And yes, absolutely.’

Monty swallowed the chocolate and fell silent, hands at ten to two on the wheel as Lola filled him in on her business plan.The time was right– and not only on Monty’s steering wheel. She trusted this man with all her heart and he’d been given more than enough reasons to think her an absolute weirdo so hopefully he’d now have a better understanding of what had brought on the hideous choking in The Iris.

‘Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more.’ Monty’s lips curled into the dreamiest smile. ‘You’re incredible, sweetheart. I think you’ve got a cracker of an idea on your hands. No wonder the bank lent you the money. I’ll do everything I can to support you and I already know you’re going to inspire my own future plans.’

The air felt heavy with lust and emotion as they entered Upper Badminton. Lola wanted to say the L word too when she was on such a high. But that would have sounded perfunctory. Monty’s declaration was enough for the both of them, even if it had slipped out as a figure of speech, and it would give her the strength to get through tonight.

‘Here we gooo!’ he sang as they approached the manor gates. How Lola wished she could turn back time so that she and Monty were arriving here on her first visit. They’d leave before the intruder was in their midst and Lola would make sure the curtains in every room were drawn. Alas, this was wishful thinking and she needed to embrace reality so she could get through the next however many hours. Monty had opted not to drink and was driving them home, at least, which hopefully meant they’d be among the first to escape. ‘Now remember, I will only leave your side if you give me the thumbs up… except while you’re powdering your nose. We’ll be seated together, like I said. And if I spot that we aren’t, I will personally play games with all of the place cards to create the most awkward conversations forthe powers that think they be.’

‘I’m pretty sure the chocolate has sorted me out, to be honest. Let’s do this,’ said Lola. ‘But please don’t tell said powers that Iate so close to dinner. That really wouldn’t make a great second impression.’

Lola resigned herself to fate. If she and Monty were meant to be together unchallenged then Helena and Frederick’s strange behaviour all those weeks ago in Bath would soon be a figment of her imagination. And if not, well, she’d soon find out.

‘Monty, Lola!’ Helena greeted them minutes later at the front door once the Polo had squeezed itself into a gap in the circular parking around the showy fountain. Monty’s mother was swathed head to toe in a glittering silver gown, whose embellishments looked decidedly Swarovski. Lola passed the air cheek kiss today– hurrah!– and things were looking up. However, she couldn’t help but notice that when Monty went in for his kiss, Helena deigned his cheek fit to rub against her own. ‘You both look fabulous,’ she said, and now Lola felt even more confused; there wasn’t a trace of disdain on Helena’s face as she appraised Lola’s choice of attire. Maybe this woman was a clone? ‘Come on through. Everybody’s gathered on the lawn tucking into canapés and quaffing Bolly.’

‘Just the small matter of offloading these!’ replied Monty as Helena ushered them through to the hallway and a couple of waiters dived in on Monty’s bags.

What a contrast to the eerily quiet welcome this place had given her a couple of weeks ago. And now Lola was rapidly realising she was completely underdressed in what was essentially a Victorian nightie, as a younger woman, clad in a fawn satin gown and beautifully bejeweled hair clips– who bore more than a striking resemblance to Monty– fell upon them.

‘Gosh, it’s fabulous to meet you, darling. I’ve heard so much about you!’ said the posh but surprisingly approachable Saskia.

Monty’s big sister’s smile felt reassuringly genuine but Lola already knew that she wouldn’t be thinking the same about Bea when they were finally introduced. She surveyed the rest ofthe chic women from her vantage point which gave her a long range view into the bustling kitchen and right outside through its open French doors. Surely he would have told her there was a prerequisite dress code if the ladies needed to wear proper cocktail dresses? As Lola understood, this was a smart-casual end of summer dinner party. Which was precisely why her boyfriend was in a shirt and chinos, sans tie– as were the rest of the men she was introduced to as Monty led her to the garden and she feigned appreciation anew at the sizeable staircase, its puffed up portraits and the colossal kitchen.

True to his word, Monty was the perfect gentleman as they navigated the throngs of family and close friends. A male singer in a suave suit and slim tie belted outVolare, sixties style, his band providing an upbeat soundtrack. If this little accessory was Helena’s definition of laidback, what was a Beauchamp-Carmichael charity gala event like?