Page 25 of Last Fall

How Jake and Eve kept all of this in such nice condition from the weather, humidity, and bugs, I had no idea, but Ilovedit.

“What’sthis?”

Two plates of chocolate cake sat on thetable.

“Cake,” he said with one his cheek-dimplinggrins.

“I see that.” The hair on my arm rose and my skin tingled with awareness. Awareness of how close and alone we were. “But we could have easily had cake witheveryoneelse.”

“We could, but that would have been birthday cake. This iscongratulationscake. I tried to do this last week but you had to leave unexpectedly and I was forced to eat the cake allalone.”

Oh.Oh...

“I understand, Zoe. I don’t like being in the spotlighteither.”

The man whose face was on my television every morning? I highly doubted that. “You’re everywhere,” I whispered more to myself than as an actualanswer.

“And I hate it.” He leaned on the back of the chair, his arms flexing. “I never feel like I can be myself in public.” He glanced back at the party with a half shrug. “It’s part of the reason I enjoy these parties. I’m just Uncle Erik. I can hide behind a table and throw water balloons.” Then he glanced at me in this way that made me feel like he was confiding in me. “The people who think of me as a celebrity want me to act that way. They only want to be around me because they get attention and they think it will be fun and exciting. But really? I’d rather eat cake in a backyard at a unicornparty.”

He didn’t move. He waited.Watched.

Hoped? Yeah, I think he was hoping I’dunderstand.

“Why?”

“Why do I like cake? Because it’s delicious.” More watching. Morewaiting.

“No,” I breathed out the word as my heart started pounding harder and harder. Like this little conversation was somehow explaining the universe to me. As if it were the most important conversation I’d ever have. I felt the weight of it tumbling down on me, forcing me stay and have it even though all I wanted to do was run back across the yard and into my bed where it was safe. “Why do you like backyard parties and family dinner? Why do you like being Uncle Erik? Why...do you keepcominghere?”

It wasn’t just for me. Even in my wildest Erik fantasies where he took on Knight in Shining Armor storylines of epic love and heroics, he wasn’t here just for me. Even my subconsciousknewthat.

His face pulled taut and his eyes pinched at the corners. “Am I really that different from the other guys? I know I’m quieter. More serious. But I’d think those qualities would make more sense,notless.”

He was hurt. Or maybe hurt was the wrong word. Offended? No, not that either.Upset.Definitely upset. “You remind me ofRoman.”

“Not Wes? I guess I should take that as a compliment.” He smiled and stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets in a nervous way. “You don’t bat an eye at Roman enjoying backyardparties.”

True. But Roman was just...Roman. I never really thought of him as the former ballplayer he was or the baseball royalty that pumped through his veins. “He has to be here. Youdon’t.”

“Exactly.”

What did that mean? “Erik I’m...confused.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “I suck at this. I’m sorry. I’m not great with words like you are.” Then he threw back his shoulders and opened his eyes, zeroing in on me. “Why do I like these parties? Because it’s family time and I miss my family. Why do I like being Uncle Erik? Because I’ve always taken care of my family and other than baseball it’s the only thing I know how to do, so when I come here and I make these kids laugh, it makes me feel like I’ve done something worthwhile. Why do I keep coming here?” He paused, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head like this, of all the things he’d said, was the hardest. “I keep coming because it’s the only time I get toseeyou.”

“Erik.” His name rushed out of my mouth as I sighed in sweet satisfaction. I wrote stuff like this, I didn’t live it. And holy wow was living itwonderful.

“You don’t come down anymore. I used to see you sometimes when you’d drop the girls off with Eve. You’d bring them to fan events and I’d get to see you there, too. You don’t do any of that anymore and I’m so damn proud of you, but I missseeingyou.”

I dropped into the empty chair, staring up at him. Who was this man? He certainly wasn’t the guy I worried he’d be. He wasn’t the fantasy either. And sometime since I kissed him I stopped being too nervous to talk to him. “But you don’t reallyknowme.”

He pulled back the other chair and sat across from me looking all eager and hopeful. “That hasn’t stopped me fromwantingto get to know you, Zoe. Look, I’ve dated other women, I’ve tried ignoring you, but I keep coming back to onething.”

I swallowed down the giant lump that had formed in my throat sometime after I stopped breathing. “What’sthat?”

“That I can’t stop thinking about you.” He searched my eyes and for the life of me I couldn’t get over how steady and light they seemed even in the middle of a conversation with monumental emotions. “And that kiss...” he shook his head, “that kiss we shared was everything I hoped itwouldbe.”

Shared.

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