Page 41 of Back in the Saddle

Anna’s grip tightened around the steering wheel. ‘I hate driving in the city. All these roadworks … Whenever they finish something, they dig up somewhere else.’

Caroline snorted. ‘It’s the same in Glasgow. There are just more potholes, and they never seem to actually fix anything.’

Anna hummed in acknowledgement.

Caroline considered what she should tell her. They were close, always had been. Anna had been her shoulder to cry on when Ronan fell into depression after her mother died. She had taken a year out of her own career, moved to Aberdeen and helped them put back the pieces of their shattered hearts together. Or at least she had tried her best. It wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t bring Siobhan back. But she was still her aunt. Neither of Caroline’s sisters knew about what happenedwith Finn. Erin was the only one to whom she had ever told the whole truth. She wasn’t ready to reopen the wound that swallowed all the smaller scratches and bumps over the years like a vicious black hole, trumping them all.

Half a truth was better than a lie.

‘Finn wants to have children. I don’t.’ She wrung her hands in her lap. ‘I know this is something we should’ve discussed before getting married. But I didn’t know I didn’t want to be a mother then.’

‘People told you you’d change your mind whenever you said you might not want to.’

‘How did you know?’

Anna shrugged, turning on the right indicator. ‘I overheard Finn’s mother at your wedding. What’s her name?’

‘Orlaith.’ Caroline winced. She despised the woman. ‘That doesn’t surprise me.’

‘I’m sorry things worked out that way. But you’re parting on friendly terms?’

Caroline thought back to her conversation with Finn. Her heart ached, wondering how he was doing. It was Saturday, so he might’ve gone out with his best friend, Robb. They normally either hit one of Glasgow’s golf courses or the driving range. She imagined him on their three-seater sofa in the living room of their four-bedroom flat in the West End, flicking through TV series and films, choosing what he wanted to watch.

‘You could say that,’ she said in a low voice. ‘It’s been a mutual decision.’

‘Good. That’s good.’

Caroline swallowed a thick lump of regret. She remembered how she wasn’t thinking about any of this just an hour ago. Wrapped in Hunter’s arms, with his mouth on her skin …

She shook the memory off. He must think she was an awful person, after what she had said. If nothing else, she owed him an explanation. He needed to know she wasn’t cheating, despite what her conscience tried to drum into her. Somehow, his opinion was important to her. She didn’t want to leave what they’d shared tainted.

Out of habit, she touched her left ring finger. She rubbed the spot where her engagement ring’s diamond used to rest.

They pulled into Anna and Gian’s street and Anna took the turn to the underground car park.

Caroline took her phone out of her pocket. She unlocked it, ignoring the guilt telling her it was better to leave it alone.

CAROLINE:I’m sorry for running off like that. I’d like a chance to explain, if you still want to meet tomorrow?

She put the phone screen down on her thigh.

Just as Anna pulled into her parking spot, the phone vibrated.

HUNTER:Looking forward to it. See you there.

Anna put the car into park and unbuckled her seatbelt. ‘You’re coming?’

Caroline smiled to the screen, indiscernible excitement, relief and fear churning inside her. She got out of the car, practically running to the elevator.

People had warned her about the distances in the US. The other day, Gian announced she was popping out to see her parents but would be back in the evening.

She had driven to Dallas and back. Within a day.

Six hours in a car, if the roads were good.

Caroline was a good driver, but anything over forty miles was not a ‘quick’ trip in her book. When she had announced to Anna and Gian what were her Sunday plans, they blinked at her.You might want to check how long it’s going to take you to get there. It’s … a bit of a drive, Anna said.

It was a good job she did, because as it turned out, it was one hundred and fifty-eight miles. One way. Only about fifty miles less than the distance between Glasgow and Manchester, where Erin lived. Caroline had never driven there and back within the same day.

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