Page 99 of Back in the Saddle

He swallowed uncomfortably, trying to coax himself to look as unfazed as he could. Every day he thought he’d get used to seeing his father as he was now; yet every day it hit him anew. Alan, who’d already lost a considerable amount of weight in the past year, seemed to get thinner and thinner every day. His pale, paper-like skin was stretched over his bones, which were becoming more pronounced.

One unchanged thing in his appearance were his kind, blue eyes. They came alive with warmth when they landed on Hunter.

‘Come in, son.’ Alan’s voice was quiet but firm.

Hunter nodded and slowly approached the bed.

‘Here, take a seat.’ Alan took off his glasses and set them on his lap.

Hunter sat on the old, worn-out armchair which he and Buck had dragged down from the attic. Neither they nor Meg minded sitting on a stool, or even standing by the bed, but Mary usually sat by her husband’s side into the small hours. When Buck walked in on her, all unnaturally twisted on a hard, wooden chair at five in the morning, he’d asked Hunter to help him move the big armchair downstairs. They knewthey couldn’t persuade their mother to sleep in her own bed, but they could at least make sure she was a bit more comfortable.

‘How are you feeling, Dad?’ Hunter asked, anxiously studying his father’s face for any sign of pain. All of Alan’s medications had been withdrawn, apart from high doses of opioids, anti-sickness medications and a handful of other medications from the palliative team. At first, Alan had refused even them, as he said they made him groggy, and he wanted to enjoy the remainder of his time with the family. He managed to get through Thanksgiving while still mobile, but two days later his condition deteriorated rapidly. Unwillingly, he’d accepted the offer of intravenous pain relief and now spent most of his time in bed. He had started having seizures, each one lasting longer than the previous one. He was too weak to walk on his own, and some days he wouldn’t get out of bed at all.

Last time Hunter saw him up in the chair was yesterday morning.

‘I’m feeling the same as I did six hours ago when you asked. Which is not bad at all, not bad … These meds—’ he gestured towards the syringe driver. ‘—are good. I’m not in any pain. Just feeling more and more sleepy as the days go by. But we know that’s how things go.’

Hunter swallowed and focused on keeping his expression unchanged.

His father didn’t need to worry about him or try to spare his feelings. It wasn’t about him, and Hunter knew that he was the only one Alan was honest with. He didn’t want that to change, not now, when his father needed him the most.

‘That’s good,’ Hunter said in an even voice.

Alan nodded. ‘It is. But this isn’t the reason why I askedyou here.’ He paused, his eyes meeting Hunter’s. He held his gaze. ‘I wanted to talk about my will. As you know, I made sure all my affairs were in order last year. Dick Rothley has all the paperwork. I named you as the executor. It just seemed natural, considering you’ve been running the ranch and helping me through treatment …

‘Buck, Meg and your mother are all included in it as well. But I want you to be the one making sure everything goes like I envisioned.’ He paused again, like he expected Hunter to say something. Maybe in protest or in confusion.

But Hunter remained silent, his eyes not leaving Alan’s face.

Alan cleared his throat and carried on. ‘I won’t go into detail as it’s all there in black and white … You’ll read it soon enough. I just want you to promise me you’ll read it all and know that it’s what I want.’

‘Of course I will, Dad. I promise.’

Alan smiled softly and reached out, opening his right hand.

Hunter squeezed it tightly, as if holding on to his father’s hand would anchor him in this life, protecting him from the inevitable.

‘Thank you. You know I’m so proud of you, right? You grew up to be a kind, honest and considerate man. I always knew you were smart. To a parent, their children are all extraordinary. You, Buck, and Meg are all so different. Yet, you’re also so alike. I hope you also feel that your mother and I raised you well.’

Hunter’s eyes welled up with tears. Part of him wanted to tell his father to be quiet, that he didn’t want to hear any of this. That it wasn’t time yet. But he knew, deep down, that if Alan was saying it, it was bringing him peace. And who was he to deny his dying father peace?

‘I love you, Dad. I promise you I’ll take care of Mom andMeg. I’ll take care of the ranch and make sure it’s passed on to the next generation.’

‘This is what I wanted to tell you, Hunt. Remember those men from that big fancy company who came knocking on our doors? They wanted to buy the ranch and all the land to expand their agricultural business or something …’

‘Of course I remember. You ran them off the ranch with a gun, and said that if they ever come back, you’d shoot them in the asses.’

Alan let out a raspy laugh that quickly turned into a cough.

Hunter instinctively helped him sit up and tipped a plastic cup to his mouth.

Alan took three small sips of water, leaned back against the pillows, and breathed in. ‘Thank you.’ Another deep breath. ‘You saw the letter they sent recently, right? They renewed their offer. They must’ve got wind that I was on the way out and thought they might have a chance again.’

‘I know. I also ran into them at Stillwater rodeo. Ignored them, no point dealing with bastards like them.’

Alan didn’t rise to Hunter’s outrage and continued calmly, ‘The offer is even higher than what it was last year.’

‘Well, we’ll just tell them to go to hell. Again.’ Hunter shrugged, anger still ringing in his voice.

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