Page 20 of Back in the Saddle

Something crashed at the other end of the line.

Finn swore. ‘Hold on a second, need to clean up the glass. Be right back.’

Caroline let out a half-relieved, half-exasperated breath. But she didn’t hang up.

‘I’m here.’ Finn paused. ‘That— I mean, I thought it might happen but didn’t expect it’d happen this fast.’

‘It’s not like that.’

‘You’ve just told me you met someone.’ His voice shook. ‘Not sure there’s another angle to interpret it from.’

‘I only meant that I met someone. A guy. He asked for my number.’

‘And you gave it to him.’ The pain in Finn’s voice sent an army of needles right into her heart.

‘He gave me his number. I told him I’d message him.’

Silence stretched across the Atlantic, hooking the consciousness of two souls that used to fancy themselves mates.

‘Will you go out with him?’

Caroline slid down, sitting cross-legged on the mahogany floorboards. She pushed her head against the wall. ‘I don’t know.’

An image of Hunter’s face leaped into her mind. The sparkle in his eyes. His confident smirk. The inexplicable pull she felt towards him – she wasn’t an idiot. She knew it was just pure attraction. But she had never felt something like this before. It was different. Exciting, even. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t intrigued. Perhaps she’d even come to regret it.

‘Yes. I do want to go out with him,’ she added, not even an echo of hesitation wrapped around the words. ‘I wanted to let you know. Not to be cruel, I hope you know that. It just didn’t feel right. I know we agreed on a divorce. I know we’re sorting out all the paperwork and once I’m back from Oklahoma, that’ll be it. But—’

‘You didn’t want to feel like you were cheating,’ Finnfinished. There was no judgement or snarl in that statement. Just brutal honesty.

Caroline stared at the plush teal rug in the middle of the bedroom. Her eyes were dry, heart struggling against her chest like it was fed up with the paces she had put it through.

When are you going to be done? When is it enough?

‘I just wanted you to hear it from me. It might end up being one date. Or might not even get to a date. But still.’

‘Yes, still.’

She squeezed her eyes shut. They had lost each other, signed and delivered the end of a love that had started when they were still kids.

‘Car, I’m glad you’re moving on. I … I just need a moment to process that. I hope you have fun, really.’ He blew a shuddering breath into the microphone on his end. ‘And I’d have never thought you cruel. Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.’

The unspoken words hung between them, caught in the frosted cobwebs of broken feelings.

I love you. I’m not in love with you, but a piece of my heart will always belong to you. I should’ve told you. You should’ve told me.

The heavy knowledge that if love was enough, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. She would be marking the days off from the calendar, counting the days until Finn flew to visit her. They would have planned a trip while he was here, somewhere nice. She wouldn’t have kissed Hunter. She wouldn’t have even met him, and if she had, she’d have acknowledged he was a charming cowboy. That would’ve been it.

But love wasn’t enough.

‘Be well, OK? You know you can always call or text me, right?’ Finn asked.

She pressed a trembling hand to her mouth, holding back a sob at his kind serenity. ‘Yes. Same goes to you.’

‘Bye, Car.’

‘Bye for now.’

The sound of the call disconnecting beeped through the speaker. Caroline dropped the phone like it burned her hand. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them tightly. Tears flew freely, just when she thought nothing could shake her again.

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