Page 17 of Back in the Saddle

Last year, she was crying in the dark on a bathroom floor mourning the end of a marriage that should’ve never taken place.

Last month, the tears had all dried up. She and Finn had avoided each other as much as they could while she prepared to leave for Oklahoma. He’d encouraged her to apply for the exchange programme. Told her it was a ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ opportunity.

She had been here less than three weeks, and she had already kissed a stranger once, almost twice. And now she’d agreed to go on a date? If she really thought about it, she had never been on a real date.

Hunter made it sound so simple. Uncomplicated. When it was anything but these two adjectives.

She shut her eyes. What should she do? It was pointless denying that there was something there. If nothing else, her traitorous body clearly found him attractive. But it wasn’t just the physical pull. Both times after she had met him, she’d felt better. Lighter. Like her old self. She missed that Caroline, and she missed that feeling of carefree joy.

Gingerly, she reached for her phone and pressed pause. ‘Hey Driver’ by Zach Bryan stopped mid lyric. She opened her contacts and scrolled to her best friend, Erin, who had a small green dot next to her name, showing that she was active now. Caroline looked at the time. Erin was an interior designer, but she always worked odd hours. Caroline couldn’t count how many times she’d heard her say,You never know when the muse is going to strike!

She started typing.

CAROLINE:Do you remember when I told you about that random guy I met at the bar two weeks ago?

ERIN:Of course. It’s not every day that you tell me about hot strangers and ‘meet-cutes’ straight out of a romcom. What about him?

CAROLINE:Well … You won’t believe it but guess who I ran into (literally) today at the centre …

‘Read’ popped up under her last message almost immediately. She kept looking at the phone, waiting for Erin’s reply.

ERIN:NO WAY! Him?! Really? But … How? When? I have so many questions …

CAROLINE:I probably should’ve also mentioned that we kissed. At the bar. And kind of almost today, too.

ERIN:CAROLINE SIOBHAN O’KELLY. Rithvik’s asleep so I can’t call you. Send me a voice note. I need details! Will just grab my earphones.

Caroline laughed and shook her head. She got up from the floor and took her headphones off, trying to listen in for any activity outside her room. All she could hear was the TV in Anna and Gian’s bedroom across the corridor, loud enough to drown out her voice. She cleared her throat and sat back down on the floor, resting her back against the bed frame.

In six separate messages, she told Erin everything. She didn’t have to wait long for her response.

ERIN:Holy shit … Sorry, I’m just a bit speechless. Can’t imagine how strange it was for you! He sounds dreamy.

CAROLINE:He kind of is.

ERIN:And the kiss was good?

CAROLINE:No comment.

ERIN:So, that’s a yes?

Caroline started typing her reply, but then caught herself. What was there to say? ‘Good’ didn’t really cover how she felt about that kiss – not then, and not now. It was more than just good.

Biting hard on the inside of her cheek, she deleted the message. She attempted to type out the response twice more but didn’t hit ‘send’.

ERIN:I can see that you’re typing. It tells me everything I need to know. And you have his number, giiiirl! When are you going to meet up?

CAROLINE:That’s the thing. I don’t think I will.

ERIN:Why? You said it yourself, you enjoyed his company. He’s handsome, clearly interested in you, and what do you have to lose? It’s just one date. If it’s a bummer, you don’t have to see him again.

CAROLINE:Are you forgetting that legally I’m still married?

ERIN:Oh, please. That’s your excuse?

She furrowed her brow, confused.

CAROLINE:My excuse?

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