Page 122 of Back in the Saddle

‘I never understood how people who loved each other, even if it was all in the past, could be cruel to each other,’ Caroline said.

‘Maybe those people never actually loved each other.’ He lifted his hand, brushing his fingers against her cheek. ‘I know I messed up.’

‘We both did,’ she said. ‘We loved each other. We hurt each other. We’re not the only ones who didn’t get the happily ever after.’ She looked deep into his eyes, smiling through the tears welling in her eyes.

‘For what it’s worth, every word I said, every feeling I had … I’ll always mean it.’

‘Me too. Every word.’

Finn kissed her cheek. It was such a simple gesture, but it was wistful, carried so much sorrow and felt final.

It was the goodbye they both needed.

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

One year later

Caroline

‘Dougal, come back here!’

The black Scottish terrier stopped in the middle of the path, turning his head towards Caroline. He regarded her with disinterest, but reluctantly waited and let her clip his lead back on.

Caroline scratched the spot behind his right ear. ‘I know you want to explore, buddy. But you can’t just run off in the distance. What would your mum say?’

Dougal just panted in response.

She sighed.Great. Now I’m trying to have conversations with a dog, she thought as she set off again, Dougal happily trotting in front of her.

Twenty minutes later, they reached their destination. She hooked Dougal’s lead round her wrist and reached for her phone. Clara had got intoOutlanderon her recommendationand now was just a little bit obsessed with anything remotely to do with the series. Clune Hill Stone Circle was no Craigh na Dun, but she’d still appreciate the thought. Smiling, Caroline took a photo of the view, slid the phone back into her hoodie pocket, and looked round.

It had been five months since she’d moved to Banchory, and she still couldn’t believe it sometimes. The day she found out she’d got into North of Scotland Deanery for her medical oncology training was the first day since leaving Oklahoma that she felt truly happy.

Aberdeenshire was truly home.

She loved her job. It was tough, and there was a lot to learn, but she never doubted her decision to choose oncology. For now, she was enjoying the natural beauty of Royal Deeside. She had even found time for some hobbies, long walks and mountain biking included. Excluding these and work, she was busy figuring out who she was. Which, at thirty-three, probably sounded a bit strange. But this was the first time in her life that she had lived alone. She didn’t have to please anyone but herself.

Caroline had even been on several dates since she’d moved here, another set of new experiences ranging from very good to disastrous. One time she went for dinner with a radiographer she had met at the hospital. He’d asked her out and, because she found him rather attractive and there were no immediate red flags in the few conversations they’d had, she had agreed. The evening went well at first, until he asked if he could paint her toenails red and take photos of them. She’d suddenly remembered something important she really had to do right at that second, and had been avoiding him at work ever since.

At least the stories kept Erin and her sisters entertained.

Not all of the dates went this far south from the start.Some ended with great sex. And then they parted ways, amicably knowing they’d had a good time and that’s all it was. Then there was this one divorced architect in his early forties who she’d seen for about three weeks. He was handsome, fun to be around, and they had a lot in common. However, after those weeks, he had realised he was still in love with his ex-wife and booty-called her when lying in bed with Caroline.You can be out of here in ten, right?

She still thought about Hunter from time to time. Then she’d scold herself for being an idiot. Surely he was happy with someone else by now. Maybe even engaged or married … Who knows? She certainly wouldn’t.

‘Thank you for looking after Dougal while Nana’s been in hospital. With Sarah away and me trying to juggle work and visiting Nana, I’m sure he was more comfortable here.’

‘No problem. He’s the best company.’ Caroline smiled at Dougal and handed his lead to Tom, her childhood friend and grandson of her elderly neighbour.

He looked at her gratefully. ‘That’s good to hear.’ Tom took the lead in his right hand and pushed his left one inside his jacket pocket. He took his car keys out and nodded to Caroline. ‘You should come to the Inn – drinks are on the house after your help.’

‘I’ll happily stop by but will pay for drinks.’

‘Nonsense.’ He waved his hand. ‘I want to repay you for your kindness towards my Nana. She’s always been fond of you.’

‘I like her a lot too.’ Caroline’s smile widened. ‘How is she feeling? I know she’s coming home today.’

‘Yeah, she’s fine. Given, you know, everything.’ Tom shrugged. ‘How are you settling in? It must be different beinghere again after all the years in Edinburgh and Glasgow.’ He leaned over the kitchen cupboard. Dougal sat down at his feet.

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