Page 84 of A Very Happy Easter

Nothing to do with excess Easter eggs?

Me

Apparently not. Can you find a pharmacy?

Heath

Give me twenty minutes to finish building this fucking chair. I’d get it done in ten if William and Spencer stopped helping.

My hero.

“That was a day and a half,” Heath said as I flopped back onto the bed and sighed. “It’s like being stuck in an episode of EastEnders, if EastEnders was filmed somewhere warmer. And with different accents. And more crying.”

Constance had wept uncontrollably while William sat in his ergonomic swivel chair, staring into space. A baby definitely hadn’t factored into their plans. Spencer went missing in action and Polly began chain-drinking margaritas while Heath tracked down the number of a local doctor and I frantically tried to find a competent seamstress. Oh, and I also had to brainstorm a replacement activity for the cocktail-making portion of the hen party. The wedding coordinator wasn’t due to arrive for another two days, and there were still thirty-four pages of the to-do list left. So much for a relaxing holiday.

“We should have gone to Barbados,” I said. “Just hung out on the beach and then flown here the day before the wedding.”

“You think there’ll still be a wedding? William seemed pretty horrified by the whole situation.”

“Oh, it’s going ahead. Constance was muttering about the shame of being an unwed mother, and if she leaves it another month, her dream dress won’t be salvageable.”

The seamstress said there was enough room to let it out by an inch, as long as Constance didn’t want to breathe too deeply.

“Shame of being an unwed mother? Does she know which century we’re living in?”

“Her family’s very traditional. Constance getting knocked up before the wedding equals a huge social faux pas in the eyes of the Fulfords.”

“Has she told her parents yet?”

“Gosh, no. She’s planning to get hitched, hide out for a few months, and then pray nobody mentions the slight discrepancy with the conception date.” I sighed again. “Meanwhile, Mama keeps asking if Janie’s managed to get her tubes untied yet. Somebody needs to carry on the family name, don’t ya know.”

“I thought Janie already had the op?”

“She did, but nobody told my parents. Who needs that kind of pressure?”

“Fair enough. You don’t want kids?”

“I do. I really do. I’ve actually thought about adoption, but every time I start feeling like I’m in a good enough place to move forward with the idea, something pushes me three steps back. Neil living practically next door, for instance.”

“I spoke with Emmy. She has a small problem to deal with in Australia, and then she’s heading to London.”

“Australia?”

“Blackwood has offices there.”

“It feels as if this is never going to end.”

Heath lay down beside me, hands tucked behind his head. “It’ll end. Bet you a fiver that by the time we get back for the Easter egg hunt, you’ll be smiling.”

He held out a hand, and I shook it. Please, don’t let anything else go wrong.

“That’s a bet I’ll gladly lose.”

Twenty-Four

Oh, who was I kidding? Of course the problems continued.

“I thought I could do it, I did, but now I’m just not sure. We don’t have that thing, you know.”

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