Page 93 of A Very Happy Easter

Vic’s story was still sinking in. Someone castrated Neil?

“Thanks, I really appreciate you keeping me informed.”

“Oh, and Don got arrested too. Harbouring a fugitive, you know?”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Swear on the Easter bunny’s life that’s what happened.”

“The Easter bunny isn’t real. Are you coming to the egg hunt? Or will you still be in Zurich?”

“I wouldn’t miss seeing Eisen in a bunny costume for all the chocolate in Switzerland. I heard a rumour this year’s outfit has ruffles?”

“You heard correctly.”

“I’ll see you on Monday, and if there’s any more news, I’ll call you right away.”

Vic hung up, and Heath rolled over, sleepy, naked, and hard. Now that he’d loosened his grip on that legendary willpower, he had a pretty much permanent erection. I loved that for me.

“What was that?” he asked. “Tennis balls, Easter bunny, something, something?”

“So, it seems as if Neil is now a eunuch.”

Heath opened his eyes fully. “What the fuck?”

“Vic called. Neil got castrated, and when he contacted the police to report the, uh, de-balling, he got arrested.”

“That crazy fucking bitch.”

“Vic? She’s very sweet, actually.”

“No, not Vic.”

Heath had his phone in his hand, scrolling, and he turned the screen for me to see.

First, there was a message:

Emmy

Hey, the funniest thing happened…

And below that, an Easter bunny was dancing with a basket full of… Wait, were those testicles? When Heath turned up the sound, a jovial little ditty began playing, the words slightly off-key.

On Good Friday morning, the moon hung low,

As a bunny hopped with a mischievous glow.

Her basket was heavy, her plan was clear,

To gather some treasures that no one held dear.

She found her mark, an asshole asleep,

Dreaming of taking what’s not his to keep.

With a flick of her paw and a gleam in her eye,

The bunny took what no money could buy.

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