Page 55 of A Cosy Christmas with the Village Vet

The party was winding down, everyone had reconvened to the stylish living room where flames were dancing in the log burner and fairy lights twinkled from the huge Christmas tree that scented the air. A mellow atmosphere had replaced the bubbly vibe of earlier. Nick felt relaxed, sitting on a large squishy velvet seat.

Vi had made a pot of tea for those who’d requested some, while Jimby was busy organising a tray of nightcaps of Molly’s dad’s infamous sloe gin for everyone else. ‘Mind, sip this slowly now, folks, it’s like bloomin’ rocket fuel,’ he said, handing out the tot glasses filled to the brim with the ruby-coloured liquid.

‘Oh, my days, it is. I can vouch for that,’ said Kitty, hugging a mug of tea. ‘And they’re very generous measures you’re dishing out, Jimby. There’ll be sore heads tomorrow.’

‘Which is why I’ve opted for tea since I’m at work in the morning,’ said Brogan. Nick cast his gaze to where she was sitting on the sofa between Anoushka and Kristy; the three clearly had a tight friendship. He briefly wondered if she’d told them what had happened between them at the wedding. He arrived at the conclusion she probably had.

‘I’ve opted for a cuppa too,’ said Molly, raising her mug. ‘I’m taking Granny Aggie to Middleton-le-Moors tomorrow afternoon so I’ll need my wits about me big time. Apparently there’s something sheurgentlyneeds to look at in one of the shops there. I dread to think what it’ll be.’

Granny Aggie was the grandmother of Molly’s deceased husband, Pip. She’d moved to the village several years earlier and Molly, who’d always thought fondly of the old lady, still looked out for her, despite her mischievous ways.

‘I saw her out and about on her new mobility scooter the other day. She was zooming along like a bat out of hell,’ Anoushka said with a giggle.

It triggered a snort of laughter from Kristy. ‘Honestly, she’s lethal. She’s like a flippin’ wild woman behind the wheel.’

‘Kristy’s right.’ Molly nodded. ‘She nearly took the vicar out last week. He had to leap out of the way and ended up in Maneater Matheson’s arms. The pair of them ended up in a heap on the village green.’

‘That’d have been worth seeing,’ said Ollie, giving a throaty chuckle as he sipped his sloe gin.

‘Well, she wouldn’t be complaining. I’ll bet her hands were all over him; poor bloke’ll have been traumatised twice over,’ said Jimby, earning himself a round of laughter.

Anita Matheson was universally regarded as the village vamp owing to her predatory nature with the local men. She made no secret of the fact that she didn’t discriminate between those who were single and those who were married. She favoured male company over female company, declaring that all women felt “threatened” by her.

‘Too right. She’s like an octopus when she gets going,’ said Vi, arching a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

‘Tell me about it. I’ve still got the bruises from the last time she cornered me,’ said Jimby.

‘As if the poor vicar hasn’t been through enough.’ Though Molly shook her head, there was an amused smile hovering on her lips.

Jimby grinned. ‘I can tell by our Moll’s expression, Granny Aggie’s been up to summat else.’

Molly rolled her eyes again, giving a sardonic laugh. ‘Ughh. Just a load of the usual, you know; me having to get her out of scrapes with the vicar; tell him what she really meant to say in her naughty text messages.’

‘She’s hilarious,’ said Ben.

‘That’s easy for you to say, son. You’re not the one having to clear up her mess and witness Rev Nev’s long-suffering expression when I have to deliver the old bat’s bonkers excuses. Mind, she does tickle me sometimes.’ Molly was struggling to fight a laugh. ‘Anyroad, I was just heading through the door the other day when she rang to tell me Rev Nev had been round to have a word with her. Up in arms, she was, saying he’d asked her if she could be more careful with the texts she sends. Honestly, she was in a right old flap about it.’

‘Well, it was only a matter of time; she’s tortured him for years. In fairness to him, he’s been very patient with her,’ said Vi.

‘He has.’ Kitty nodded. ‘In fact, he’s probably made things worse for himself by being like that; might have made her think he was okay with her sending rude texts to him, that he found them funny.’

Nick listened, wondering where on earth this conversation was heading.

Molly rubbed her fingers over her chin. ‘Hmm. That’s a good point, actually. I might have to mention that to him. Anyway, would you believe she reckons he’s the one with the problem, and has been taking her texts the wrong way? Told me he’s got a dirty mind. And she reckons he should be more understanding. Says he should appreciate that an old lady like herself might struggle with technology and should at least give her credit for using it.’

‘He does! But I think she’s over-stepped the mark a bit recently,’ said Camm.

‘Only recently?’ Jimby said, chuckling into his sloe gin.

‘Anyroad, according to Granny Aggie, she’d sent a text to Penny Gaines, telling her how kind Rev Nev is and how only the other day he’d been round and had a good old rummage around in her under-carriage. Said she was sure he’d do the same for her mother if she fancied.’

‘Jesus!’ said Ollie, scrunching his nose up.

Nick looked over at Brogan to see her hand over her mouth and her shoulders shaking with mirth.

‘Honest to God…’ Vi shook her head. ‘Granny Aggie is totally wild.’

‘Tell me about it,’ said Molly, while Camm laughed quietly beside her. ‘Reckons she was talking about her “wheels” as she calls her mobility scooter. Anyroad, she’s huffed with him, which might mean she’ll leave him alone for a while. Here’s hoping at least.’

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