Page 20 of A Cornish Winter's Kiss

‘That must be tough, but if anyone is doing the stalking I’d say it was you. My family lives in Port Agnes, but I thought you were staying in Port Tremellien.’

‘Mehenick’s is famous across the whole of Cornwall.’ Jude’s statement wasn’t an exaggeration, so there was no reason to doubt his excuse for being there, but he wasn’t finished. ‘As it turned out, there were no suitable Airbnbs near my father’s house and, when one came up here, I figured it was more than close enough to family.’

‘Makes sense.’ Emily didn’t want to say anything else in front of Rosie. Jude had already hinted that he had a tricky relationship with his father, and she knew he wasn’t the sort of person who would relish being questioned about that, especially in front of a stranger. Instead, she turned towards Rosie, suddenly aware of having left her friend out of the conversation.

‘Sorry, this is Jude. An author I’ve been working with.’ Turning back to look at him, she continued the introduction. ‘And this is Rosie, one of my best friends from school.’

‘Nice to meet you.’ Jude smiled at her. ‘I’ll let you get on with catching up.’

‘Why don’t you join us?’ The words were out of Rosie’s mouth before Emily could do anything to intervene.

‘I don’t want to intrude.’

‘Don’t be silly.’ Rosie patted the seat beside her. ‘Emily might get to meet interesting people in her job, but most of the people I meet are either screaming in agony or throwing up on me.’

‘She’s exaggerating,’ Emily said as Jude’s eyes widened. ‘Rosie actually has the best job in the world. She’s a midwife.’

‘That’s amazing.’

‘It is brilliant, but it’s definitely not all about cuddling babies. There are things I do far more often, but you probably wouldn’t want to hear about any of them over breakfast.’ Rosie pulled a face. ‘Being an author must be incredible, though.’

‘Put it this way, there’s probably just as much screaming in my job, but I’m the one doing it.’

Rosie gave a hearty laugh in response and it was clear she wasn’t going to take no for an answer when it came to Jude joining them. Having rearranged the table, and carried Jude’s coffee over, it was a fait accompli before Emily knew it. They spent the next hour together, with Rosie asking him questions about his books and regaling him with the most entertaining experiences from her job, most of which she’d shared with Emily in the past. It wasn’t how Emily had expected to spend their time together, and she’d felt a bit like a third wheel, but she couldn’t say it wasn’t interesting. Jude and Rosie had both insisted that there was no such thing as romantic love, but the way her old friend was hanging off his every word suggested she might be experiencing more than a spark of attraction towards him. Jude was giving far less away, as always, although he did look visibly moved by one of the stories Rosie told him about a woman who’d delayed cancer treatment in order to save the life of her unborn baby. It was an act of love not even he could attempt to deny.

‘Oh God, is that the time?’ Rosie started fumbling in her bag. ‘I’ve got to get to work, but I’ll leave you some money to pay for my breakfast.’

‘I’ll get it.’ Jude took the words out of Emily’s mouth, but she wasn’t going to let him do that.

‘No, it’s my treat. I haven’t seen Rosie since she got her new job, so I was planning to buy her breakfast to say congratulations.’

‘Okay, but I need to thank Rosie too. My original storyline with the pathologist just doesn’t work and I was thinking of having McGuigan get involved with an ex, but I’m now wondering if his partner should be a nurse or a midwife. Someone who helps him see that there are still good people in the world.’ As Jude looked at Rosie, Emily’s scalp prickledin response. She couldn’t have begun to justify why, but she hated the thought of him using her old friend’s job to make the revisions to his story instead of the things she’d suggested.

‘You could always buy me dinner instead.’ Rosie looked at Jude, and the prickling on Emily’s scalp became more intense. Rosie didn’t go as far as fluttering her eyelashes, but the flirtatious tone to her voice was unmistakeable. ‘In the meantime I’ll leave you both to argue over who buys me breakfast. I’ve got new lives to bring into the world. I’m a superhero!’

She laughed, but Emily suspected she was only half joking. Rosie clearly wanted to impress Jude, and he had every right to be impressed. Her friend did an amazing job; all Emily did was read stories other people had written. Deep down, she knew it made a difference to people; she’d had messages from people telling her that. Only right now she felt completely inadequate. There was a twinge of something else too that she’d rather not acknowledge, but it felt uncomfortably like jealousy. Rosie was single and gorgeous, and she’d already stated that she was up for a fling. It would be perfect timing with Jude being in Port Agnes over Christmas, and it had been obvious that Rosie was attracted to him. The only problem was that Emily absolutely hated the idea, and she didn’t even want to think about why that was.

‘Are you really considering making McGuigan’s love interest a midwife?’ She fiddled with the paper napkin in front of her once Rosie was gone.

‘I don’t know. It’s just an idea. I can’t work out how I can link it back to his past in the same way I could if it was someone he trained with. But I like the idea of the contrast to his job, one that’s all about murder and the horrors of this world, and another that involves bringing new life into the world, like Rosie said.’ He paused for a moment, but when she didn’t look up orrespond, he continued. ‘It all goes back to what you were talking about, providing light and shade.’

‘So you’re saying that whatever option you choose it was my idea?’ This time she was the one who delivered the slow smile, and he laughed.

‘I guess so.’

‘It’s interesting that it got you thinking the way it did. Surely you must admit, after hearing Rosie’s stories, that some types of love can’t be denied; like the love between a mother and her child.’ As soon as the words were out of Emily’s mouth, she wanted to stuff them back in again. Jude’s face had fallen and she’d realised, far too late, that she’d put her foot in it. Here she was, talking to a man who’d lost his own mother when he was still just a boy. ‘I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to lose your mum when you were so young. It was a stupid thing to say. I just meant that some kinds of love have a power that defies logic.’

‘Maybe, but that’s not always the case, even between a mother and her child. And certainly not always between a father and his child, at least not in my experience.’ He held her gaze for what felt like an eternity, as if he was weighing up whether to continue, but then he did. ‘I told you about losing my mum, but what I didn’t tell you was that she was my adoptive mother.’

‘Oh.’ Jude had a habit of making revelations that left her with no idea what to say in response. She wanted to reach out and comfort him in some way, but she didn’t know if he’d welcome it, or whether it was even the right thing to do. She didn’t want him thinking she viewed adoption as something to be pitied. That wasn’t why she felt so sad. It was because he’d lost his adoptive mother, and it didn’t sound like his father had done anything to try and minimise the impact of that loss. She still didn’t know what the right thing to say was, but for some reason she endedup blurting out a question she strongly suspected she shouldn’t ask. ‘Are you in contact with your biological parents?’

If Jude was fazed by the question, he didn’t show it. ‘After the skiing accident, my father didn’t even want to talk about my mother any more, and just a couple of years later he’d remarried. It felt like I was the only person who remembered Mum, and we’d never had the chance to talk about how she might feel if I wanted to find my biological mother. She was the most loving person I’ve ever known, and she always put me first, so I didn’t want to do something she might have hated, just to track down a woman who chose to give me away.’

‘I doubt it was easy.’ She couldn’t seem to stop herself from crossing the line. Something inside her wanted to defend this faceless and nameless woman and to make Jude believe in the power of love. ‘I can’t pretend to know the facts about your adoption, but I do know that the vast majority of women whose babies are adopted do it out of love, because they want the best possible life for their child. And it sounds like your mother gave you that kind of life before she died.’

‘She did.’ Jude’s eyes locked with hers again. ‘If I was going to buy into your view that love isn’t always some kind of transaction, she’s the one who could make me believe it. But the rest of my childhood made it difficult to remember what that felt like. My father didn’t show me love, and my stepmother definitely didn’t. Sandra hated me even more than I hated her. She couldn’t wait to get me packed off to boarding school and my father didn’t put up any objection.’

‘I’m so sorry.’ Emily’s fingers twitched with the desire to reach out and take his hand, but she balled them in her lap beneath the table instead. ‘I can understand now why you didn’t relish the idea of coming home for Christmas.’

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