Page 26 of A Cornish Winter's Kiss

‘I should have kept my mouth shut.’ Emily said the words out loud, the wind carrying them away. Wishing she’d done things differently was futile; all she could do was hope that somewhere, deep down, they’d resonated with Jude in some way. She might wish she’d approached it differently, but she still thought he needed to hear what she’d had to say.

Just as she reached her parents’ house, Emily’s phone began to ring, her heart plunging much harder than she’d ever imagined it would when she realised it wasn’t Jude.

‘Hi, Jas.’ Her voice sounded falsely bright even to her own ears. ‘How’s everything going?’

‘Good. I was just ringing to check on life in cream-tea land. Where the hell are you? You sound like you’re in a wind tunnel.’

‘I just got back from walking the dog, give me a sec.’ Not wanting to disturb her parents, or have them overhear her conversation with Jasmine, Emily opened the side gate and went into the summerhouse, quickly flicking on the light and prayingthat a mouse or something even worse didn’t run across her foot. Gary Barlow gave her a curious look, clearly wondering why he wasn’t already inside warming up by the wood-burning stove, and she made a silent promise to make it up to him with a treat later on.

‘Sorry, it’s turned really wild out there.’

‘What are you doing out walking Gary Barlow in the dark anyway?’ Jasmine sounded concerned. ‘I know Port Agnes is nothing like the mean streets of the big city, but even so, it can’t be a good idea walking around this late by yourself.’

‘I wasn’t by myself. I met up with Jude so we could walk the dogs together.’

‘Again?’ There was a teasing tone to Jasmine’s voice, but Emily didn’t feel like laughing.

‘I was in the studio all day and I just wanted to go out and get some air, that’s all.’

‘I bet it looks very romantic down there. The pictures you put on Instagram of the Christmas tree down by the harbour are lovely.’

‘Yeah, it’s really pretty.’ Her voice was almost robotic by now. She couldn’t think of the harbour without picturing Jude, up in Puffin’s Rest, hating her guts for saying all the things she’d said and, even worse, feeling all the emotions he’d worked so hard to bury. She’d forced him to confront them without any idea if he knew how to deal with them.

‘What’s up, Em? You don’t sound like yourself.’ The concern was back and, when she didn’t answer, Jasmine upped the stakes. ‘If you don’t tell me, I can call your mum and dad.’

‘That’s not fair. You know I don’t want to worry them.’

‘Good, so tell me what’s going on, because you’re worrying me and that’s not fair either.’

‘Jude and I have been spending a lot of time together in the week or so since I got down here, and before you start gettingany ideas, let me finish.’ Emily was employing what she termed her headteacher’s voice, and it had the desired effect.

‘Okay.’

‘Things seemed to be going well with the book, so we started hanging out more as… I don’t know, I suppose you could call it friends. It was mostly walking the dogs, but we were finding we had things in common and the more I got to know him, the more I liked him.’

‘Right, so then what happened? You jumped his bones and realised he wasn’t your type after all?’ Her friend gave a throaty laugh and Emily sighed.

‘You said you were going to let me finish. Anyway, how long have you known me? You know that’s not how it works for me. I do relationships first.’

‘And then the meaningless sex!’ Jasmine started laughing again, but when Emily didn’t join in, she finally seemed to get the message. ‘I’m sorry, I know I’m being an idiot, but I’m just trying to cheer you up.’

‘I know, it’s just been a rubbish night. Jude opened up to me about some stuff and I had this theory that some unresolved issues from his past were stopping him from being able to finish the book the way his editor wants him to.’

‘And you told him that?’ The incredulity in Jasmine’s voice was obvious.

‘I never meant to, but he started talking about how love doesn’t really exist, and when I told him about Mum and Dad, he said something about Dad doing it to be seen as a hero.’

‘You should have punched him! Your dad’s amazing.’

‘I know, but I just wish I’d handled it differently. Jude’s been through a lot and I’m supposed to be helping him with the book, but I doubt he’ll ever want to speak to me again.’

‘So what? It’s not your real job anyway.’ Jasmine suddenly sucked in a breath. ‘Unless you’re worried it will affect other authors wanting you to narrate their books.’

‘It’s not that, it’s…’ Emily couldn’t seem to finish the sentence, but it turned out Jasmine could.

‘It’s just that this has gone way beyond a business arrangement and whatever this friendship-slash-consultant-slash-dog-walking thing is between you, you don’t want it to end. Am I right?’

‘Uh huh.’ Emily’s response was barely audible, but it felt like a huge admission all the same. She’d only known Jude for about three weeks, but they’d seen each other almost every day and their conversations had been so personal that it felt more like years. She wasn’t ready for it to be over.

---