Page 17 of A Cornish Winter's Kiss

‘I will.’ Emily held out her hand and Jude shook it. If it had been anyone else, she might have given him a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye, but for some reason it felt like that would have been a mistake with Jude. ‘I’ll see you in Cornwall then.’

‘Can I walk you back to the Tube station? It’s getting late.’

‘I’ll be fine. There are plenty of people around, but thank you.’ She turned and began walking away from him before hecould protest, but she was strangely touched by the fact he’d offered. That was the thing about Jude; he only revealed crumbs of insight into who he might really be, but those crumbs were oddly compelling. She knew she’d make time to meet up with him when she got back to Cornwall, because she couldn’t deny she wanted to find out more about him, even though there was a good chance she might not like what she discovered.

8

Even as Jude authorised the payment for the holiday let he’d just booked for the next week, he wondered what the hell he was doing. The decision to rent somewhere wasn’t the issue; there was no way he could face spending that amount of time with his father, even if he and Viv had been willing to put up with Jude for that long. It was the fact he was going to Cornwall at all, and that he’d rented an apartment overlooking the harbour in Port Agnes, in the same village where Emily would be. He told himself it was because, when the property had come up, he hadn’t been able to believe his luck. Puffin’s Rest was beautiful, and the views from the windows were breathtaking. It was the perfect place to hole up and get some writing done.

When he’d contacted the owner, the man had explained that the apartment was only available because the renovations on it hadn’t been due to complete until the end of January, so they hadn’t taken any bookings until February. When the work got finished early, he’d decided to list it; less than half an hour before Jude had found it and made the enquiry. Maybe it was fate, but the fact that he’d included Port Agnes in his search at all meant he couldn’t really call it that. The truth was he’d neverhave included the village where Emily lived if he hadn’t known that was where she’d be.

Puffin’s Rest had an enclosed courtyard, but it was at the bottom of a steep flight of stairs. Still, there were wonderful walks along the coastal paths for Rufus right on the doorstep. And getting away to a new location had to help fire his imagination and get him inspired to complete the revisions on his book. It also meant he’d be spared December in London when the throngs of crowds could surely make even a diehard Christmas fan long for January, let alone someone who found the holiday season as difficult as he did.

Even the sight of a holly wreath on someone’s door could get to Jude. There’d been one hanging on the door of the church when he and his father had gone to see the vicar about his mother’s funeral, the day after her body had been flown home, when they should all still have been having fun on the ski slopes together. Christmas couldn’t be over fast enough for him. When the owner of Puffin’s Rest had asked if he’d like a Christmas tree to be delivered, Jude had declined. He’d much rather look out at the sea and enjoy its dramatic moods. It felt far more suited to this time of year than fairy lights and tinsel. Maybe renting an apartment in Port Agnes for the best part of two months wasn’t such a crazy idea after all, although it meant he had absolutely no way of avoiding spending Christmas with his family.

‘Well, this is unexpected.’ Jude’s father, Charles, had a way of making every phone call feel as if it was unwelcome, and today was no exception.

‘I just wanted to call to talk about Christmas.’ Jude was heading off to Cornwall first thing in the morning, but he had no intention of dropping by his father’s place the moment he arrived, or pretty much any time before Christmas Day.

‘Viv messaged you about that and she’s still waiting for an answer.’

‘I know, I’m sorry, but like I said, that’s why I’m calling.’

‘Don’t you think, out of courtesy, that you should be speaking to Viv about this instead? After all, she’s the one who contacted you about making arrangements.’ Charles’s tone was even, but it was still on the tip of Jude’s tongue to ask his father whether he thought he should have been the one to invite his son for Christmas Day, but there was no point. Charles had always been the kind of man who was able to compartmentalise the different facets of his life. When it came to Jude, it had been out of sight, out of mind. While he was at boarding school, as far as Charles was concerned, he was under the care of the staff, and it didn’t seem to occur to him that Jude might still need his father. Now that he was married to Viv, he seemed equally happy to leave it to her to be the channel for communication between him and his son. Jude didn’t know whether it would have made any difference if his father had been the one to reach out and ask him to spend Christmas with them, but he couldn’t deny he would have liked him to try.

‘I’ll message Viv straight after this, but I wanted to talk to you first.’

‘Okay, but like I said, she’s the one who knows all the plans. Who’s coming when, what days we’re at the various get-togethers she’s accepted invitations to and whatnot. I’ll probably only mess up if I suggest when you should come down and how long you should stay for.’

‘I won’t be staying with you.’ Jude couldn’t keep the hint of bitterness out of his voice. He couldn’t envisage ever having children, but if he did one day become a father, he couldn’t imagine not wanting them to come back home as adults whenever they felt like it. It shouldn’t matter to his dad whether Jude might be there at the same time as other guests, or when Viv and his father had plans elsewhere. Their home should feellike his home, not like he was a guest in a hotel who couldn’t be left there without someone ‘on duty’.

‘Don’t tell me you’re staying in that flat on your own for another Christmas?’ For a moment he thought his father might be disappointed, or concerned. But then Charles added the line Jude should have known was coming. ‘It’ll really upset Viv if you turn down another invitation to Christmas.’

Charles could have said,I really want to spend time with you, or even,It would be brilliant to have you here, like Viv had said, but he didn’t. His father wasn’t worried about seeing his son at Christmas, he just didn’t want his wife to be upset. Viv was his only priority, just as Sandra had been his only priority when they’d been together. The only difference was that Viv was a lovely woman, who Jude could bear to be in the same room as. In truth it was more than that; he enjoyed Viv’s company, he just wished it didn’t come hand-in-hand with having his father’s company too. There was far more baggage there.

‘I will be spending Christmas Day with you. I just won’t be staying over.’

‘So you’re staying in a hotel? Surely that’s an unnecessary expense?’

‘No, I’m not staying in a hotel, I’m—’ Jude’s father didn’t even let him finish.

‘Please don’t tell me you’re thinking of driving all the way down here for one day. That’s even more ridiculous.’

‘I’ve rented an apartment, a couple of villages away.’ For some reason, Jude didn’t want to tell his father exactly where he would be.

‘Why on earth would you do that, when you know there’s room for you here?’

‘Is there?’ This time Jude didn’t give his father a chance to answer. ‘Look, I’m treating it as a bit of a writing retreat. I’ve gotsome major edits to do and I thought the change of scene and getting away from London for a bit would help.’

‘Hmm.’ His father sounded doubtful, even before he went on. ‘I’m not sure how swapping sitting in one apartment on your own for doing exactly the same thing in another will make a lot of difference, but I’m sure you know best.’ It was crystal clear from Charles’s tone that he didn’t think so at all.

‘It’ll make it easier for me to see you all without having to impose.’ Jude paused for a moment, but his father didn’t even try to counter the idea that his presence might be a nuisance. In the end, it was Jude who broke the silence. ‘I’ll text Viv to sort out the details, but I just wanted to let you know I’ll be seeing you on Christmas Day.’

‘Just make sure you don’t forget to tell Viv.’ That was it. Not even the slightest hint of enthusiasm about the news that Jude was ‘coming home’ for Christmas, but then he shouldn’t have expected any other response.

‘I will, don’t worry. I’ll see you on the twenty-fifth then.’ He had even less intention now of seeing his father before Christmas Day, despite the fact he’d only be a few miles away for the next five weeks.

‘All right then. Oh, and Jude…’ This was his father’s chance to say something that would prove his son wrong and show him just how much his coming home meant.

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