Page 38 of Together Again at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘Hello.’ She moved away from her friends to the far side of the staffroom as she spoke, to make sure she’d be able to hear him. But when the caller responded, it wasn’t Lijah.

‘Hi Amy, it’s Nick.’ His tone was serious and her heart had already started to race, as she tried to think what possible reason there could be for Nick using Lijah’s phone that wouldn’t bring bad news. What he said next did nothing to reassure her. ‘Is Lijah with you?’

‘No, I’m still at work. I’ve just finished a night shift and Monty is with Mum.’

‘Shit.’

‘What’s up?’ Her heart was galloping by now, and the depth of Nick’s sigh did nothing to reassure her.

‘I stayed at Dolly’s last night, but I came home early because we’re supposed to be having a call with the promoters of the Asian leg of the tour at 8a.m. They’re based in Tokyo and it was the only time that really worked for everyone. Except Lij isn’t here, and his bed doesn’t look like it’s been slept in. He left his phone here too and he never does that.’

‘He must have forgotten it when he went over for Claire’s birthday celebrations. Maybe they went on longer than expected, and he stayed over?’ She held her breath, willing Nick to thank her and say he hadn’t thought of that, but instead he sighed again.

‘I tried there. He left about ten o’clock last night, after they’d been on a boat trip and then out for dinner. Claire said he seemed fine, but I know how good Lij is at faking that he’s okay, and never more so than when he’s really struggling.’

‘Oh God, you don’t think…’ Amy clutched the phone so tightly it made her fingers hurt. Lijah had tried so hard to suppress his grief, but now he’d lifted the lid on it there was a chance it might have become overwhelming, especially with his aunt about to leave too.

‘No, I don’t think he’d do anything like that, but I’m still really worried about him. He doesn’t seem ready to go back on tour and that’s fine, we can delay as long as he likes, but I don’t think coming back here has given him the answers he thought it would. He seems a bit lost, and I don’t know how to reach him. Maria was his sounding board for so much and, without her, he doesn’t know which way to go. I think he’d give anything to be able to ask her advice one more time.’ Something clicked in Amy’s brain, in response to what Nick had said.

‘I think I might know where he is.’ She was already moving towards her locker to gather up her stuff. ‘He always used to go up to the cliffs at Dagger’s Head to watch the sunrise when he was on the cusp of a big decision. I remember going up there with him just before he decided to move to London.’

‘That’s where Maria’s ashes were scattered too, so he probably feels closest to her there.’ Nick paused and, when he spoke again, he sounded hesitant. ‘Shall I meet you at Dagger’s Head?’

‘Do you want to?’ Amy knew from experience that some people found the grief of others hard to handle, but she couldn’t imagine Nick feeling that way about Lijah.

‘I think it might be better if it was just you. He’s got it into his head that I want to push him to restart the tour, when all I really want is to know he’s okay. He’s my best friend, but we can never completely separate that from our working relationship. Whereas you and he…’ Nick hesitated again. ‘What you have is something he’s never had with anyone else, and I don’t think those feelings have changed.’

Amy might not allow herself to believe Lijah loved her, because of what it would do to her if she was wrong, but she could accept he needed her, and being needed was a role she was comfortable with. ‘I’ll go to Dagger’s Head now and I’ll let you know as soon as I find him.’

‘What if he isn’t there?’

‘He will be.’ Amy was more certain of that than she had been of anything in a long time, she just wished she was half as confident about what to say when she found him.

* * *

Amy spotted Lijah from about fifty metres away, sitting on a rock above the cliffs at Dagger’s Head and staring out to sea. She thought about calling out to him, but she wanted to just watch him for a moment. He looked like the version of Lijah she’d fallen in love with first time around, just an ordinary boy, not a household name everyone thought they knew. Except Lijah had never really been ordinary, there’d always been a magic about him and the fact he was so blissfully unaware of it had made it all the more magnetic. She was only a few feet away from him by the time she eventually spoke.

‘What are you doing up here?’ His head shot up in response to her question.

‘Thinking.’

‘What about?’

‘What to do next.’

‘What do you want to do?’ She looked at him and he held her gaze so intently for a moment that it was almost painful, but she couldn’t look away.

‘I want to sit on the sofa with you, Mum, and Claire, listening to cheesy eighties songs and the two of them arguing about whether Duran Duran or Wham! are the best.’ Lijah gave her a half smile. ‘Then I want us to sneak up to my room like we used to. I wish I’d never let what we had slip through my hands.’

‘But we did let that happen.’

‘No, I did. I shouldn’t have just accepted it when you said we should break up.’

‘You had dreams you needed to follow. You couldn’t do that in Port Kara.’ It had all made so much sense to Amy then and she’d been certain she was doing the right thing, the way she always tried so hard to do, but Lijah was shaking his head.

‘I should have told you that I couldn’t follow my dreams without you, because you were in all of them.’ Lijah’s eyes didn’t leave her face. ‘I don’t care if that’s the cheesiest line you’ve ever heard, because it’s true.’

Amy wanted to laugh and tell him it was cheesy and that all of this was just nostalgia, but she couldn’t trust herself to talk about their relationship, because she’d never be able to stick to the rules if she did. It was easier to change the subject, just like she’d done every time Lijah had tried to get her to talk about where this might be going. ‘I need to let Nick know I’ve found you and that you’re okay. You missed a call with Tokyo.’

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