Page 32 of Together Again at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘It was.’ Lijah somehow resisted the urge to tell Amy that Maria had loved her too, and that so did he; that would definitely have been breaking the rules. Instead he joined in, as she started to sing along with Tony Hadley. Wherever his mum was, he hoped she could see them, because he knew it would have made her incredibly happy that Amy had given him a second chance, and he was going to do his very best not to blow it this time.

* * *

Gwen might have got away with no one noticing her funny turn while she was working at the hospital shop, if Caroline hadn’t been on shift too. Her friend knew her too well and had immediately realised that her behaviour was off.

‘I’ll just get your…’ Gwen could picture the word she wanted, piles of coins stacked on top of one another, but she couldn’t find the word itself, and her movements seemed to become faltering, as if she was in slow motion.

‘It’s okay.’ The customer smiled. ‘Just put the change in the collection box.’

‘Thank you.’ Gwen’s head felt as though it was full of cotton wool and her fingers fumbled as she tried to select the right coins to put in the collection box beside the till, but every movement was like wading through concrete.

‘Are you okay?’ Caroline spotted the sign that something was wrong instantly, but Gwen still wasn’t ready to face up to it.

‘I’m fine, my head’s just a bit… It’s just a bit achy.’ She was really having to concentrate to explain something that should have been so simple.

‘Are you sure? You don’t seem your normal self lately and you’ve mentioned having a bad head a few times.’ Caroline’s eyes searched her face.

‘I’m just…’ It was as if she was incapable of completing a sentence, and she had to force the rest of it out; even her words seemed to have slowed down. ‘Feeling my age.’

‘You’re probably doing too much.’ Caroline looked up as Meg, Esther and Eden all came into the shop, speaking with a new urgency as they approached the counter. ‘It would be worth asking someone with a bit more medical expertise for some advice, though. I’m worried about you.’

‘Hey Mum.’ Esther greeted her mother and Caroline went around the counter to give her a hug.

‘Hello darling. This is good timing, I was just suggesting that Gwen speak to someone about her headaches. She’s been getting them a lot lately.’

Gwen wanted to protest, but she still couldn’t shake off the feeling of wading through concrete, and suddenly everyone was talking about her like she wasn’t even there.

‘Any other symptoms?’ Meg asked, and when Gwen shook her head, the young doctor narrowed her eyes. ‘You should always get persistent headaches checked out. It would be a good idea to go and see your GP as soon as possible, or I could run some basic checks.’

One of the benefits of working at the hospital, and of knowing so many of the staff, was that if Gwen had wanted to queue jump and get some advice from a specialist, it would have been easy. But as kind as Meg’s offer was, she wasn’t about to take up a doctor’s time when other patients were waiting. At least that’s what she told herself. The truth was she wasn’t ready for what Meg might discover, so she shook her head again.

‘Promise me you’ll at least go and see your GP?’ Meg urged and Gwen managed a nod, swiftly moving the conversation on to talking about Aidan’s baby, and asking if anyone had been to see little Ellis. After that, Caroline had insisted that Gwen go home early and Eden, who’d just finished an early shift, offered her a lift, despite the fact she lived opposite the hospital. Gwen had wanted to refuse, but she’d felt unsafe to drive and she’d been forced to accept Eden’s kind offer as a result. Barry was out weeding the front garden when she arrived and the absence of her car meant he knew something was wrong. When Eden pulled away and Gwen turned to go in to the house, Barry stood facing her, his arms folded, clearly determined not to let her fob him off this time.

‘You’ve got to see someone about what’s going on, Gee. You can’t keep pretending this is normal. You’re not well. You might not want to admit it, but it’s obvious.’ There was a new steeliness in his tone now.

‘I just need to cut down a bit.’ Her head wasn’t quite so fuzzy, but she still felt exhausted. She didn’t want to use what little energy she had fighting, but she couldn’t agree to go and see the doctor, because she knew what they were going to find and when they did there’d be no going back. She’d be on the same path that had robbed her mother of who she was, bit by bit, until there was almost none of her left. The idea terrified Gwen, and she’d do anything not to have to face it, even if it meant digging her heels in and arguing with Barry about the same thing over and over again.

‘You need to see someone, Gee, I mean it. And the kids think so too. Sally said she’ll go with you and?—’

‘You’ve been talking to the kids about it?’ She cut him off, her voice sharp as anger and fear flared up inside her like a flame igniting. They were talking about her behind her back, like she was incapable of being part of the conversation, or of making her own decisions. It was happening already, she was losing control of who she was and what she wanted. She couldn’t let it get any worse. ‘You had no right to talk to them about me.’

‘We all love you and we’re just worried about you. That’s all.’ He moved towards her and reached out, but she flinched as if he was going to hit her.

‘I’m fine. Stop interfering and treating me like a child. I’m not a bloody child!’ Her voice was shrill, almost a shriek by the last few words and she moved away from him towards the door.

‘Where are you going?’ Barry’s voice was full of concern, but she didn’t stop.

‘I’m going out, and I don’t need your permission believe it or not.’ She slammed the door behind her, tears stinging her eyes. All she wanted was for Barry to hold her and tell her it would all be okay, as he had so many times before when they’d had a crisis in their lives. But he couldn’t do that, because Gwen had a terrible feeling it wasn’t going to be okay, and that things were never going to be the same again.

19

Aidan and Jase had gone all out for the party to mark baby Ellis’s discharge from hospital. And, as Aidan had announced, it was only the start.

‘Thank you all for coming today. We thought this would be a great way for everyone to meet our beautiful girl, and we didn’t want to wait until the christening, so there’ll be another party for that, and one for her first birthday, and for every other milestone we’re going to be lucky enough to share because of Isla and Ellen and their incredible generosity. So clear your diaries for the next eighteen years!’

Aidan and Jase had hired Bocca Felice, a beautiful Italian restaurant that overlooked the sea, and Aidan had confided in Amy why they’d decided against having the event at home.

‘The place is in chaos, Ames. Parenthood is…’ He shook his head. ‘Amazing, exhausting and extremely messy. The thought of hosting this many people and having everyone at our place, with the baby just out of the hospital, was too much. We thought this was a great way to contain it all, give everyone a chance to see her in a time slot we can control, so that we didn’t keep having to put everyone off. Now that the doctors have said she’s as healthy as a horse, this seemed perfect.’

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